The Alien Rulers are in desperate need of an heir to their Alien Kingdom.
According to OK magazine, Alien Queen, Katie Holmes, is under lock and key in Alien King, Mighty Mouse Cruise’s cellar, until she can ac’right and produce a male heir [Website – Amy Grindhouse].
Cos’ of course, when you are an alien ruler with a robot wife, you are bound to entirely misunderstand/ underestimate the laws of physics/ biology/ robotology.
Locking up Katie-bot is a wicked-awesome way to ensure that she produce a much-needed heir.
After all, if you lock her in a space with no power outlets and threat of her battery running down, NO SH*T she is gonna cave in and bow to Cruise’s every whim. Wouldn’t you, with no solar-panels, Red Bulls or any other way of powering back the eff up?
On the reals though, as well as kind of coming across as a sexist AHole, Cruise has also demonstrated a second total lack of judgement, by bowing to the whim of Alien Princess, Suri.
Apparently, Suri has being using her Scientology/ Jedi mind-tricks to let Cruise know, in no uncertain terms, that she WANTS a sibling to play with.
According to OK, at this point, the whole family is piling on the pressure:
In the December issue of Glamour, the star of the upcoming Australia explains that Connor, her teenage son with Tom, is still hoping for a brother. “[He] would like one of us to have a boy,” she confesses. “He wants that boy. Katie?”
“At 41, Nicole knows she’s not likely to have another baby,” a friend of the actress tells OK!. “It’s obviously up to the much younger Katie to give Connor that baby brother.”
And the Cruises are more than ready to welcome a new child into their lives.
“Katie and Tom very much want another baby,” a friend of the couple tells OK!. “There may be no better time than now for Katie to get pregnant again and absolutely nothing would make Tom happier.”
Akshully, just had a thought… why bother attempting to gestate a baby in Holmes barron robot womb? Would it not be FAR less effort to just build a new baby?
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