Tom Cruise’s lawyer is suing everybody for everything that’s ever been written in every Tom Cruise article ever. Because, under the advisement of Detective Humphries, it’s the only way to stop the ‘hundreds’ of people on the Internet from saying mean things. Next stop: the SRS BSNS Police. Last week, Cruise’s lawyer issued a cease and desist to National Enquirer over its claim the actor was a ‘monster’ who kept his daughter in an ivory tower without windows (or was it a basement?) for her formative years while committing acts of psychological terrorism. This week, the SRS BSNS Police form letter has been BBMed to Lies & Style Magazine whose inset headline says ‘Suri in tears: Abandoned by her dad.’ The story was written before Cruise’s visitation this week. According to GossipCop.com, the legal response to L&S says, in part: ‘As anyone knows who saw their photos together yesterday and today, is a disgusting, vicious lie… until this week, Tom was shooting a film on location, but he spoke to Suri every day. Tom dearly loves Suri and the last thing he would ever do is abandoned her.’
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