The best way for Lindsay Lohan to keep getting away with crimes is to keep working with Real Lawyer ™, Shawn Chapman Holley, who didn’t print out her qualifications at home unlike Lohan’s previous lawyer, Lionel Hutz Attorney at Law. While working with Hutz, there was a second there were Lohan stood a chance of being punished for a crime. Apparently, having a moment of clarity, she realised this and BEGGED Holley to return. In fact, Lohan was so desperate she paid her outstanding bill to win Holley back. It’s weeks later and, after a protracted episode of musical rehabs, the 27-year-old is settled somewhere that managed to stop her from self-medicating. The real news here, however, is that she’s alive at age 27. It was her birthday July 2 and she’s near enough to 30 now that the ‘she’s just a kid’ excuse that usually ameliorates her behaviour doesn’t really fly anymore. In any case, because she’s still drying out or whatever, she spent the birthday in rehab with the only reliable person in her life, her lawyer—who is an exception to the usual ‘visitor’ rules—rather than her usual druggy crowd who weren’t allowed to visit anyway. In other news, E! reports that ‘Team Lohan’ spent Lohan’s birthday begging for birthday wishes, like they did above only to be ignored by the Huffington Post, and wishing the actress happy birthday in the first person hoping others would follow (they didn’t).