Playing the hand he’s been dealt on Mad Men despite producers deciding the same audience that has watched seasons one through five suddenly needs spoon feeding in season six, here’s Jon Ham making you want to stay in school to relearn those ABCs you forgot the second he started freeballing like a total slut.
Posts Tagged ‘TV’
It’s BRANDNEWINFORMATION To Chris Brown That Domestic Violence Is, Like, Totally Wrong
As the only things that really got hurt the night Chris Brown nearly beat Rihanna to death were his fists and his fee-fees, he says he has learned it’s wrong to beat the living s**t out of someone. And it’s still wrong even if you’re dating that someone. Having faced no consequences in his personal nor professional life, still dating the woman he beat, and having basically cheating the justice system, Brown claims he nearly ‘lost it all’. He says of counselling, ‘I think it is just proving myself once again and me being a man. Knowing what I did was wrong and never doing it again. As far as [Rihanna] and I are concerned, she knows my heart and I know her heart. I am not really focused on the negative, everything is positive for me. I did my 52 weeks of couselling and learned it was absolutely wrong.’ Also, pretending the subsequent violent outbursts never happened, he continues, ’It was domestic violence counselling. A 52 week program. Every Monday in Virginia, I remember going, sitting in there thinking ‘Why did I do what I did?’ I really just wanted to get help.’ Finally, because you’re a Debbie Downer for telling the truth so he doesn’t have to, he adds, ’I am moving forward, positively. I think for me it is about proving myself to my fans and for me my fans have been my number one support,’ he said. ’The naysayers are going to have their opinion. Anything I do… It’s not going to be ‘Chris is the greatest.’ So I am not going to focus my life on pleasing those people. The only thing I can do is please my family, myself and please [Rihanna] and my fans.’
Demi Lovato Confirmed As Returning To X Factor
On the previous season of X Factor no one watched, Simon Cowell was unabashed about hiring two unstable former Disney stars; one fresh out of rehab and another who’s too medicated to do her job. He, and the audience, was honest about hoping for a meltdown that never came and Cowell openly pouted that both handled the stress and sucked all the entertainment out of the show. But he’s welcomed back Demi Lovato, who promised to stay away from television immediately prior to signing the previous deal and admitted the show compromised her sobriety immediately prior to signing this deal. ‘I couldn’t be happier that Demi wants to come back this year,’ Cowell said. ‘She’s a superstar in her own right and was a fantastic mentor last year. Even though she can be really, really annoying, I truly enjoyed working with her and so did the artists.’
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Nicki Minaj Does Not Have Time For American Idol
Mariah Carey operates within her own timezone that’s at least two hours off your timezone. And when she arrives late for something, she’s usually being carried on the shoulders of poor people who cannot tell time either. Yet Nicki Minaj STILL manages to arrive so late she makes Carey’s lateness look reasonable by comparison. A source says when it comes to American Idol, Minaj literally does not have time for this. ‘Nicki has ALWAYS been late. Even back during the audition phases she showed up anywhere from an hour or two past call time, pushing all of the auditions back and angering the other judges,’ says a source. ‘Not only was she always late, but she always had a huge entourage with her and was rude to the contestants and their families, refusing to talk with them. And she wouldn’t allow anyone to take pictures of her, nor with her.’
Kristin Cavallari Says Kristin Cavallari Isn’t On Coke
The entire cast of The Hills would have murdered their own families for attention at the height of their fame 2006-2010. During which time we’re expected to believe that it took bribery to coerce cast members into pulling focus by defaming one of their own. Reportedly being offered $10,000 worth of designer purses to contrive a story line about Kristin Cavallari’s supposed coke habit, producers allegedly pushed the bad girl image too far by trying to fabricate a whole drug-problem. Cavallari tells Giuliana Rancic how producers screwed-up by using purses and not the soul of Lauren Conrad. ‘I had two lives,’ Cavallari said during a sit down interview on E! ‘I had the public Kristin and then I had the real me.’ Alleging co-stars were encouraged to lie to the press about her nonexistent drug habit, she continued, ’I felt so used. And I realised at that moment that I didn’t matter. None of us mattered. It was all about ratings.’
The X Factor Just Fired Khloe Kardashian
It turns out that hiring someone based on their sister’s ability to take a hard one to the face actually isn’t a great way to run a business (just like hiring two former Disney stars and hoping they will go off their meds in time for the live shows is also not great for business). Because Khloe Kardashian and the X Factor are done professionally even though the show still wants to be special friends with seasoned host Mario Lopez. According to the New York Post, Kardashian is unemployed even though she made sure to tell anyone who would listen that she would love to come back for another season. She wants to come back but she’s not welcome back. ‘They are asking Mario to come back… but not Khloe,’ says a source. A hosting expert, Marki Costello adds, ‘I am sure there was a big percentage of Khloe’s fans who followed her to X Factor. But at the end of the day, when she doesn’t know what she is doing, are you helping your show or hurting it? It was really hard for me to watch Mario with her [because] it made me, as a viewer, almost uncomfortable.’ According to the same report, fired judge Cheryl Cole who sued over her dismissal is in talks to return to the show.
John Mayer Just Realised John Mayer Is A Jerk
In an interview with CBS Sunday Morning, John Mayer reveals he’s the latest member of the I Hate John Mayer Fan Club and he’s paid up for the year. Addressing the kiss-and-tell days when he would graphically detail his sex life with other celebrities, he admits ‘I was a jerk.’ But it’s your fault he was a jerk, because he just wanted you to like him. He explains: ‘It’s very liberating when you finally realize it’s impossible to make everyone like you… I wanted everybody to like me. I thought I was one shuck and jive away in every direction.’
‘Don’t Fall In Love With It, Justin, No! Focus!’
Showing off the foreplay skills his alleged former side-piece Rihanna taught him, here’s Justin Bieber molesting a doll’s head on Jimmy Fallon (in case you’re wondering tomorrow why your Tumblr is overflowing with stills from this with a bunch of stans’ heads MS Painted where the doll’s head should be).