Posts Tagged ‘TomKat’

Katie Holmes can be seen in the image above, as she shops in Rio de Janeiro with her daughter, Alien Princess Suri [Website – Amy Grindhouse].

WHAT IS BABY SURI THINKING IN THIS PICTURE?

Celebrity news and gossip written by AmyGrindhouse.com. Image credit to SDFL / Splash News.

Tom Cruise has only just realised that he screwed himself out of half his audience, when he ripped Brooke Shields a new A-hole a while back (over her taking medication for postpartum depression) [Website – Amy Grindhouse].

Star magazine (as you all know, my favourite magazine… as it doubles as potty paper) say Cruise’s PR people are hoping to break him out of the bad habits listed below. The thought process being that if Cruise can stop coming across as a misogynistic douche for a second, he might actually win back some of his long departed female fans:

• No talking about Scientology.
• No wearing sunglasses on the red carpet.
• No showing up to premieres in fancy cars.
• Appear on women-friendly shows like The View. “It’s all very calculated.”
• No man-handling the Katie. At least in public.* “Tom needs to quit grabbing her arm and pulling her around. The idea is to make him the kinder, gentler Tom, not a controlling husband with a Stepford wife.”

*Case in point, the image above.

Fwat Da Kuck is up with Tommy dragging his robot wife around by the arm. Just pick her up by the scruff of the neck and have done with it. Actually, wheels would be easier. Don’t robots have wheels? If I were Tommy I’d put my sex robot on wheels and just push their arse around. Then no one can accuse me of ‘man-handling’ them =)

DO YOU THINK CAN WIN BACK FEMALE FANS?

Celebrity news and gossip written by AmyGrindhouse.com. Image credit to Splash News. Story courtesy of  Star magazine.

We’re at Suri Coat Watch day 11 million or some shiznit and in the image above, the Alien Princess can be seen being carried out to the Schoenfeld Theater, NYC, in the freezing cold [Website – Amy Grindhouse].

…and by carried I mean carried properly like any mother with access to her meds would usually carry her baby and not like a sack of rotten potatoes as usual. Have to admit that I am jealous of all of Suri’s screen time. She works hard for the money and is working it day and night with the best of them. Always immaculately dressed and groomed, she photographs like a DIVA. 

Shame the same cannot be said for her worn out robot mother.

Celebrity news and gossip written by AmyGrindhouse.com. Image credit to  Jackson Lee / Splash News.

Am I the only one who has noticed the flood of night time paparazzi pictures, starring of our beloved little Alien Princess, Suri Cruise, that have surfaced of late – why does this poor child never sleep [Website – Amy Grindhouse].

Last time I checked, homegirl was two-years-old; which is apparently not even old enough for her to be trusted to walk on her own and so she is always carried around, like a sack of potatoes. Why then is this toddler NEVER in bed before dark?

When I don’t nap, like 10 times and get at LEAST 10-hours of sleep, I’m such a diva the next day; slurring my words and falling over like I just drank a bowl of tequila. How then is it that a baby who still does adorable things like pick her nose in public, is being dragged around hither and thither by her crazay arse parentals. 

I can be silent no longer.

I’m formally putting Katie-bot and Tommy on notice. Listen up… I know that you have a whack theatrical production and film to pimp out, but please leave your darling girl at home with a responsible adult, when your promotional activities require you to go out late at night. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, STOP making Suri stay up so late for no good reason. She needs her sleepy bye-byes, yo. If you do not comply, I’ll Skype Xenu and rat you biatches out!

[IMAGE CREDIT: Splash News]

AmyGrindhouse.com © written by Amy Grindhouse. Content including images, branding and original writing may not be used or republished without prior license or permission.

Tom Crusie has revealed that he wants to have TEN more children, with wife Katie Holmes, because he “loves kids” [Website – Amy Grindhouse].

So, Katie’s robot womb needs to accommodate ten more children. Someone please call Michelle Duggar and ask her to stage a vagina intervention, in order to save Holmes from at least a decade of chaffed nips, stretch marks and episiotomies.

Cruise seems to think that any wife of his should be using her vage as a clown car. He exclusively told  The Sun, “I want ten children. I love kids. I feel really fortunate to have the teenagers and a two and a half-year-old. It’s a great dynamic. (Suri’s) so charming, she’s so beautiful, she’s just great.”

[IMAGE CREDIT: Splash News]

AmyGrindhouse.com © written by Amy Grindhouse. Content including images, branding and original writing may not be used or republished without prior license or permission.