Suri Cruise, every one’s favourite Alien Princess, has been enrolled into a Catholic School. The enrollment into a non-Scio school was at the insistence of her mother, Katie Holmes.

It would be no stretch to assume that devotee father, Cruise, wanted his Scio-tot to go to a Scientology school. However, rather than take babies communications courses or whatever it is tots do at a Scio-pre-school, Suri will be learning how to colour inside the lines at a school teaching another religion.

According to NY Daily News, the three-year-old was enrolled in Catholic Charities Yawkey Centre For Early Education And Learning, in Boston, last week.

Nine photos of Suri, Tom, and Katie in Boston, Massachusetts on Sunday Oct. 11, 2009. And more details, below.

It seems the 30-year-old mom wants the toddler to be educated as she was — even though hubby Tom Cruise, 47, is a committed Scientologist. “Katie has been listening to her parents who are devout Catholics,” a source told the Daily Mail. “She is not convinced by Scientology.”

Apparently, the struggle over Suri’s education has been ongoing. “They had been having huge problems agreeing on her school. To say they were having arguments is putting it mildly – but Tom came around to the idea in the end,” the source told the Daily Mail. Cruise was also raised as a Catholic but converted to Scientology in 1990. (via NY Daily News)

Image via Fame Pictures. Story & info. The Daily Mail via NY Daily News.

…and for reason #2,400,928 proving that Suri Cruise leads a more charmed life than you, The Sun claims that the daughter of Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise has a wardrobe of designer clothes worth $2 million.

An insider said, “They really splurge on Suri.” The pair’s pal Victoria Beckham is also said to have commissioned designer Roberto Cavalli to make a dress for Suri.  The source added: “Suri is very vocal when it comes to outfits. She’s rarely seen in anything twice.” (via The Sun)

Image credit to DS-ISM2/Rocstar2/ Flynet Pictures & quote via The Sun.

When looking for celebrity baby images today what I actually found included pictures of three-year-old Suri Cruise wearing a pair of baby-sized high heels.

The daughter of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes was spotted out with her mother, on a rare day off the leash, wearing a tiny pair of baby heels. Don’t get it twisted, these aren’t the tiny soft heels you may have seen previously. Those are for tiny prostitots and not for classy babies like Suri. However, she was wearing heels at only age three. I don’t even wear heels and I’m a grown ass woman.

Image credit to Fame Pictures.

Is Katie Holmes weight-training or something? Is she a new and upgraded Windows Vista version that comes with Go Go Gadget arms? Um, are some three-year-olds not super duper heavy?

I know Katie is only a robot wife, and therefore she has no feeling in her extremities. However, unless she wants her robot arms to break off, methinks it would be a good idea to put that baby down and let her walk.

Image credit to Fame Pictures.

Suri Cruise does an astonishing impersonation of a child of a regular married couple. If it weren’t for Katie bot being positioned next to her with a “loving” smile hardwired onto her face, there would be no evidence that this little angel were a mini Scilon.

She kind of looks like a frightened little mouse or some other tiny adorable animal. I mean, it boggles the mind that this baby is being reared by Tommy and the Bot and that in all likelihood she was created in a test tube using LRH’s sperm. That Ron Hubbard sure can grow him some cute kiddies. 

I bet Tommy is p*ssed that his peen being stuck in men’s no no places means that he cannot produce offspring of his own. I gather than a man’s no no places are not the best or most fertile ground for growing babies. When these two crazy kids were trying for a baby, rather than put his peen in Katie bot’s USB adaptor slot (or whatever she has instead a vagina), he stuck it in the warm and squishy crevices of a fellow peen-haver. 

Well, whomever the heck this kid belongs to she is the cutest pre-rehab celebrity kiddie on the block.

Tommy and his robot wife, Katie, have decided to send little Suri Cruise to a special Scientology school.

Suri, who for the time being at least resembles a human being and not a $cientolo-bot, will be attending the Church of Scientology’s New Village Academy. The baby is not yet as far gone as her robot mother, so perhaps there is hope for her yet.

Well, that is assuming the classes three to five days per week don’t take there hold. The school, as funded by Will Smith, is located in Calabasas, California. Its curriculum includes mathematics, literacy, Spanish, karate, yoga, robotics, technology, etiquette, art, and living skills.

For what end the little tyke will need to learn etiquette and living skills, the mind boggles. Surely, all you need to be a good future robot wife is a spare battery and a working remote control. Who needs anything that resembles a formal education, when you are going to be some future millionaire actor’s dead-eyed arm candy???

Image credits to Splash News.

Just when you thought their marriage could not get any creepier, the latest news  in the charade of a marriage that is TomKat is that Tom Cruise is making his robot wife confess her sins to him on a weekly basis.

Did I squeeze too much into one sentence again? Okay, let me break it down. Tommy is making his shrinking little robot wife tell him anything she may have done wrong in any given week; this is to ensure that, according to $cientology doctrine, the marriage stays ‘moral’.

Katie Holmes may be coming to the end of her Purification Rundown diet, but it seems she isn’t stopping there with her commitment to Scientology. The 30-year-old actress resolves problems with her husband Tom Cruise by making weekly written confessions, as laid out in the Scientology code.

‘Katie has to confess to something as minor as forgetting to tell him she has met with a friend,’ says a source.

‘If she commits a transgression against the moral code of their marriage, she has to tell Tom in writing, giving full details of the time and place and what happened.’

From what I gather from the Daily Fail snippet above, this is essentially tantamount to Tommy pulling a lever on her back, and robot-Katie printing out a little receipt with all her transgressions written in Ironic Sans on 80’s style printer paper with the little holes down both sides. (Katie is an old-fashioned robot and so can’t print on that fancy new-fangled printer paper!!!).

Image credit to Splash News

So, after I posted last week about Katie-bot being let off her leash and allowed to roam the streets of NYC free as a bird, without Tommy or the Scientolo-gang following her ass around, seems Bot is back on her leash and trapped in the confines of remote controlled fauxmance hell – at least if the image above is anything to go by.

Katie Holmes on location for ‘The Extra Man’ in NYC.

I’m thinking that Katie-bot is pissed at me for writing  a post about her fun day out last week. Now I’m all scared and shit that she is going to roll her ass over here (she just had wheels installed) and beat my ass for telling on her.

I had no idea of the repercussions of informing Tommy that his robot wife was on the prowl in NYC without anyone to push her ‘Start’ and ‘Stop’ buttons. From what I gather on the grapevine, he has her ass back under lock and key in the Scientolo-dungeon and now Bot has to make her way to and from her ‘Extra Man’ filming with a ball and chain around her leg. 

Sorry Bot!

WHAT DO YOU THINK Katie is thinking in image above?

Image credit to Jackson Lee / Tom Meinelt.

Katie Holmes can be seen in these images, walking without the forceful aid of her hubby Tom Cruise, in what I am going to be nice and pretend could be construed as ‘Soccer Mom Chic’ [Website – Amy Grindhouse].

Katie Holmes seen leaving a movie trailer after doing some scenes for her latest movie in New York city, USA.

Where is Tommy and his army of security guards, on her tail and dragging her arse around like they usually are? Seems Bot has no one to follow her around and push her ’start’ and ’stop’ buttons whenever she gets to and needs to cross a busy intersection.

Hold on, without someone to push her emergency ‘STOP’ button, located in her butt crack, how will auto pilot Kati-bot know she needs to stop when she gets to a busy road. Weird. If I didn’t know better I would swear that Tommy wanted his robot wife to wander into the road without looking and get smashed to pieces, just like my cheap ass Ikea bookcase did when I mistook it for my bed after a drunken night out and attempted to climb on top of it.

Now that Tommy knows we are all onto him, I bet these are the last pictures of Katie-bot being allowed to walk around un-aided for quite some time to come !

Celebrity news and gossip written by AmyGrindhouse.com. Image credit to Splash News & Tom Meinelt-Jackson Lee.

Tom Cruise is a man that is somewhat unaware of his surroundings; he has no idea he is quite grossly unpopular, he has no idea how annoying his Scientolo-speak is, and he has no idea that Katie-bot has an ‘off’ button. Further proof of Cruise’s lack of ability to comprehend what is going on around him, the actor pissed off about half of Brazil when promoting his latest movie ‘Valkyrie’ [Website – Amy Grindhouse].

Crusie cranked up the batshit crazy and started talking to the sexy country folk of Brazil, in what he thought was their native tongue. 

According to Page Six, “Cruise tried to ingratiate himself to reporters by saying hola (hello) and gracias (thanks), not realizing that the language of Brazil is Portuguese, not Spanish. Accord ing to Glamurama.com, Cruise also said he fell in love with Brazil watching movies about samba and tango, unaware that tango is an Argentine dance.”

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF TOM’S GOOF?

Celebrity news and gossip written by AmyGrindhouse.com. Image credit to SDFL / Splash News. Story courtesy of Page Six.