Amy Grindhouse » TomKat

Katie Holmes Finally Makes Suri Wear a Coat

Amy Grindhouse — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 21:52:02 +0000

It’s the thinnest coat you’ve ever seen. But it’s still a coat. On more occasions than I could mention this little girl’s masochist parents have paraded her in front of the paparazzi, in all kinds of horrid weather, in little more than a Summer dress and jelly shoes. Suri Cruise was wrapped as warm as she ever will be, as she and Katie Holmes braved the snow on their way to Bowery hotel, New York.

Twelve photos of mother and daughter, Katie Holmes and Suri Cruise, in NYC.

Image credit to CWNY/Fame Pictures, AAR/Fame Pictures, Flynet Pictures.

Suri Cruise Flamenco Dress and Polka Dot Heels

Amy Grindhouse — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 22:45:42 +0000

Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes and three-year-old Suri. The family were standing around picking their cracks and intermittently looking up to see whether any space cruisers were hovering suspiciously. If they weren’t comprised of a midget in heels, a robot wife, and a baby bot with a great taste in shoes, this would almost be a cute family. But any family that has to be sent off for repairs/ that comes with an instruction manual can only get so much praise.

They spent more time making goo-goo eyes at the press than at each other. Tom Cruise stares daggers (or not) at his gorgeous baby girl and her fierce little outfit. Being around the same dress size, there’s a battle between them each morning of who gets to wear the cuter outfit. Suri won this morning and she got to leave the house in this adorable pink flamenco-style dress and red polka dot shoes. It’s a hand-me-down from daddy Tom, but it looks WAY better on Suri.

Nine photos of the family fakery; Tom and Suri Cruise, and Katie Holmes.

Image credit to Target/FAME Pictures. Story & info. Cele|Bitchy, Us.

TomKat are Ready for a Second Baby Says OK!

Amy Grindhouse — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 12:41:49 +0000

According to sources who know nothing and a magazine that marries off a new couple every week, the King and Queen of all Scilons are planning to repopulate the earth. Midgets and robots can’t mate, but these people are really insanely wealthy and so nothing is outside the realm of possibility.

The latest issue of OK! magazine alleges that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are ready to bless the pages of Vanity Fair with a second baby spread. Hmm… maybe they won’t choose something so uppity this time, but something their minions can afford, if they’re growing/ breeding/ building a second baby in a recession.

Katie Holmes Says Suri Cruise Loves High Heels

Amy Grindhouse — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 18:40:23 +0000

Katie Holmes definitely has a malfunction and should be returned to the factory for de-bugging. The actress and mother has shared with Access Hollywood that her daughter, Suri Cruise, loves wearing those tiny baby high heels.

Katie Holmes isn’t usually one for spouting nonsensical musings. At this point, we can safely assume that she’s being used to download too many pirated movies and bootleg MP3s and she has a virus. Being broken and not being in control of what is coming out of her mouth, Holmes keeps sharing these odd tidbits about her contractual obligations made in Scilon heaven. Holmes and Tom Cruise are super-secretive about all the details of their lives you actually give a damn about.

Oddly, neither seems shy about letting you watch their three-year-old develop a slow-burning foot deformity. Holmes recently blurted out something that came out on 90s printer paper, with the little holes down the sides. She was low on ink, so it was hard to read what she said, but is looked something like “She, like every little girl, she loves my high heels… They are actually ballroom dancing shoes for kids. I found them for her and she loves them…. 100010010101″

Image credit to Fame Pictures. Story & info. Access Hollywood via Pop Eater.

Suri Cruise In The Cold Without a Coat… Again

Amy Grindhouse — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 20:55:51 +0000

Suri Cruise has only ever been spotted out with a coat on a handful of times.

The daughter of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes is always oddly dressed for the weather. Perhaps she was built with the world’s tiniest heater installed, so she can go out with nothing much covering her and not freeze from hypothermia.

Suri Cruise and Katie Holmes were spotted together on a cold day in New York. Katie Holmes was wearing ankle boots, a pair of jeans, and a thick tweed coat to keep out the wind chill. Suri Cruise was poorly dressed in Wellington boots, stockings, and a lined sleeveless Summer dress. Holmes must have a malfunction or some funky wiring somewhere/ have eaten a brain tumour for breakfast. Either that or she doesn’t give a damn whether her baby freezes to death.

Nine photos of Suri Cruise turning into a coatless baby popsicle under the cut.

Image credit to AAR/Fame Pictures. Story credit to E! Online.

Suri Cruise Has Been Enrolled in Catholic School

Amy Grindhouse — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 04:20:32 +0000

Suri Cruise, every one’s favourite Alien Princess, has been enrolled into a Catholic School. The enrollment into a non-Scio school was at the insistence of her mother, Katie Holmes.

It would be no stretch to assume that devotee father, Cruise, wanted his Scio-tot to go to a Scientology school. However, rather than take babies communications courses or whatever it is tots do at a Scio-pre-school, Suri will be learning how to colour inside the lines at a school teaching another religion.

According to NY Daily News, the three-year-old was enrolled in Catholic Charities Yawkey Centre For Early Education And Learning, in Boston, last week.

Nine photos of Suri, Tom, and Katie in Boston, Massachusetts on Sunday Oct. 11, 2009. And more details, below.

It seems the 30-year-old mom wants the toddler to be educated as she was — even though hubby Tom Cruise, 47, is a committed Scientologist. “Katie has been listening to her parents who are devout Catholics,” a source told the Daily Mail. “She is not convinced by Scientology.”

Apparently, the struggle over Suri’s education has been ongoing. “They had been having huge problems agreeing on her school. To say they were having arguments is putting it mildly – but Tom came around to the idea in the end,” the source told the Daily Mail. Cruise was also raised as a Catholic but converted to Scientology in 1990. (via NY Daily News)

Image via Fame Pictures. Story & info. The Daily Mail via NY Daily News.

Suri Cruise $2 Million Worth of Designer Clothes

Amy Grindhouse — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 15:43:17 +0000

…and for reason #2,400,928 proving that Suri Cruise leads a more charmed life than you, The Sun claims that the daughter of Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise has a wardrobe of designer clothes worth $2 million.

An insider said, “They really splurge on Suri.” The pair’s pal Victoria Beckham is also said to have commissioned designer Roberto Cavalli to make a dress for Suri. The source added: “Suri is very vocal when it comes to outfits. She’s rarely seen in anything twice.” (via The Sun)

Image credit to DS-ISM2/Rocstar2/ Flynet Pictures & quote via The Sun.

Suri Cruise Spotted Wearing Baby High Heels

Amy Grindhouse — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 03:16:34 +0000

When looking for celebrity baby images today what I actually found included pictures of three-year-old Suri Cruise wearing a pair of baby-sized high heels.

The daughter of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes was spotted out with her mother, on a rare day off the leash, wearing a tiny pair of baby heels. Don’t get it twisted, these aren’t the tiny soft heels you may have seen previously. Those are for tiny prostitots and not for classy babies like Suri. However, she was wearing heels at only age three. I don’t even wear heels and I’m a grown ass woman.

Image credit to Fame Pictures.

Katie Holmes Can Probably Put Suri Down Now

Amy Grindhouse — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 02:57:33 +0000

Is Katie Holmes weight-training or something? Is she a new and upgraded Windows Vista version that comes with Go Go Gadget arms? Um, are some three-year-olds not super duper heavy?

I know Katie is only a robot wife, and therefore she has no feeling in her extremities. However, unless she wants her robot arms to break off, methinks it would be a good idea to put that baby down and let her walk.

Image credit to Fame Pictures.

Suri Cruise Is A Chocolate-Covered Cutie

Amy Grindhouse — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 21:05:33 +0000

Suri Cruise does an astonishing impersonation of a child of a regular married couple. If it weren’t for Katie bot being positioned next to her with a “loving” smile hardwired onto her face, there would be no evidence that this little angel were a mini Scilon.

She kind of looks like a frightened little mouse or some other tiny adorable animal. I mean, it boggles the mind that this baby is being reared by Tommy and the Bot and that in all likelihood she was created in a test tube using LRH’s sperm. That Ron Hubbard sure can grow him some cute kiddies.

I bet Tommy is p*ssed that his peen being stuck in men’s no no places means that he cannot produce offspring of his own. I gather than a man’s no no places are not the best or most fertile ground for growing babies. When these two crazy kids were trying for a baby, rather than put his peen in Katie bot’s USB adaptor slot (or whatever she has instead a vagina), he stuck it in the warm and squishy crevices of a fellow peen-haver.

Well, whomever the heck this kid belongs to she is the cutest pre-rehab celebrity kiddie on the block.

Amy Grindhouse » TomKat

Katie Holmes Finally Makes Suri Wear a Coat

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