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Posts Tagged ‘Spears’

Britney Spears Credits Dad With Saving Her Life

Aug 31st, 2011
by Amy Grindhouse.
3 comments

Britney Spears got the She Can Tie Her Own Shoes Now Award at this Sunday’s MTV Video Music Awards because she’s owed at least one of those in the terms of her conservatorship. I don’t really know what to make of Spears at the moment. She’s managed to keep herself and her kids alive with the help of a team who should be looking after her career. I don’t have babby because I don’t know how is babby formed, but I would guess there’s more to it than just keeping the kids alive. But that’s what she’s doing. And that’s all she’s doing. There’s some intermittent waddling around on stage, looking lost, spilling out of costumes and insulting the audience with lip synching. But it’s mostly the babby thing. Well, the VMAs rewarded her for being alive and for somehow remaining profitable. I don’t… I dunno. Anyway, RadarOnline.com is reporting that Spears finally realises she’s only alive today because of her father’s intervention. Literally. ‘Britney now recognizes that if her father hadn’t stepped in and taken the action that he had, well…. Britney is now crediting Jamie for saving her life,’ says a source. ‘Britney’s relationship with her dad is in a very, very good place now. She was extremely emotional backstage before leaving for the VMAs and kept telling her daddy how much she loves him… Britney always knew she would have a comeback. She just didn’t know it was going to be on this level.’ 18 photos.

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Britney Spears Wanted To Teach Your Chirrens

Aug 26th, 2011
by Amy Grindhouse.
3 comments

Asked what she would do if she weren’t a pop mimer/ waddler, Britney Spears opined that she would be a teacher. Because chirrens need learnin’. ‘I’d probably be a teacher,’ she said. ‘I love kids, and even in what I do now one of my favorite parts of my day is getting to meet my fans before the show. Especially the little ones. They are always so cute… I’d specialize in reading and history [especially the 1920s].’ Asked whether she’d still be a mother (if by ‘mother’ you mean ‘have a post-chirrens breakdown and barely manage to keep youself/ your kids alive’) she replied yes, she’d still love ‘raising my family [and] being a mom.. I’m very strong in the way I raise my kids and stuff. So [even if I weren't famous] it would probably be pretty much the same.’ 50 mixed concert pictures below.

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Britney Spears Sued For Being Nasty & Unkempt

Jul 21st, 2011
by Amy Grindhouse.
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The lawsuit from that former bodyguard who claimed to have been sent pictures of Britney Spears’ taint has filed more documents in court. Fernando Flores, who is suing the medicated singer for sexual harassment, now claims that Spears is dirty, nasty, and has negligible ability to keep herself clean. Ha-durr. We know she’s nasty. We know she doesn’t wash her hair, or the rest of her. We know she doesn’t bathe, even though she claimed to bathe twice-a-day. We know she doesn’t wash her clothes. And if years’ old pictures of her exiting a car, in nothing but a shirt, from X17, are to be believed, she doesn’t change her sanitary products often/ ever either. We know! Okay, so, this requires a lawsuit. Stupid crap like nose picking, which Flores actually included. We’ve seen photos with her finger up her nose. We know that too. There’s only one new thing he’s alleging that’s of interest, Flores claims that Spears uses methamphetamines. Sources claim that’s a lie… Idk. But the drugs are listed with the complaints that she ‘farts a lot, picks her nose and has terrible hygiene practices.’ What the…?

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Another Video Where Britney’s Standing Still

Jun 22nd, 2011
by Amy Grindhouse.
1 comment

Poor Britney Spears (who is, inexplicably, about 45-years-old in this video, rather than 30). It’s bad enough her tour’s devolved into her giving lap dances. She’s pretty much 100% consistently drug-addled and glassy-eyed to the point I’m not even convinced she’s aware of her surroundings anymore. That’s the only way I can explain this video. Here’s the music video to I Wanna Go, released this morning, after a 30-second preview earlier in the week. It’s more of the same and there’s little more content in the full four-and-a-half minute video than in the preview. There’s poorly-done CGI whistling of those unable to whistle, a marquee for Crossroads 2: Cross Harder, and a sub-Thriller ending. Aside from that, it’s a too-literal attack on the press; a less-intelligent version of S&M, as it were. Both videos lament media intrusion and contain the degradation of assembeled members of the press. The S&M video was better and it used metaphor. This is just Spears swearing at, smashing the equipment of, and hitting the paparazzi. Robot paparazzi. And there’s an ugly love interest. Not to mention the sexual acting out in the form of flashing and accosting male extras. We’ve never seen any of this before. And it’s not like it ever happened in real life. Between 2006-2008. See what she did there? THIS IS BRAND NEW INFORMATION.

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The Person Scrubbing Britney Needs A Medal

Jun 7th, 2011
by Amy Grindhouse.
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Whoever it is washing and brushing each crevice of this woman before she appears at photo shoots needs a medal. This is the recently-released single cover for Britney Spears’ latest song, one of the weakest on her album by far, I Wanna Go. It’s a pretty lazy affair, and despite an album full of samey pop material this is still a stand-out for the wrong reasons. But she’s running with it. She’s also medicated, so I can’t get too mad at her. This is the… cleanest… I’ve seen Spears look in months. And that’s including all recent magazine covers and other single art. Something as simple as wringing the grease out of her hair and brushing away the assorted chip crumbs from her person has somehow shaved years off the 29-year-old. If it’s not any of the above, and it’s a miracle of Photoshop, I demand that wizard show themselves so we can make a ‘Thank you’ baby thing.

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Britney Spears’ Broken Neck In Harper’s Bazaar

May 17th, 2011
by Amy Grindhouse.
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Someone on the preview of this cover asked whether Britney Spears’ weave had been Photoshopped. In case anyone else is wondering, it pretty much looks that way. Her team bribed her with sodey pop to get her to the hair salon. Her face is Photoshopped into oblivion and her neck’s at a creepy angle that adds to the look of a heavy MS Paint brush. I don’t know how vapidity can be removed in the edit, but they managed it. And she looks less weathered, tired, and leathery than she’s looked lately. This is the high resolution version of the June Harper’s Bazaar cover I previewed yesterday. And the singer’s interview and her photo shoot are below. The shoot is pretty much her standing around a skate park dressed as the mother of one of the skaters; she’s wearing her Sunday wig/ weave and her big girl shoes. Spears appears to have been interviewed on the phone. Yes, again. She’s been doing a lot of phone, email, and similar interviews where she doesn’t need to physically be present. Because she’s past the point where she can do that without heavy planning, choreographing by her managers and heavy-handed editing by her people after the interview. At least she sounds cognizant, after her parents suggested she lacked even basic motor functions.

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