Amy Grindhouse » Spears

Britney Spears’ Unrestrained Nips Love Soda

Amy Grindhouse — Sat, 20 Mar 2010 16:24:23 +0000

Britney Spears has been looking pretty good of late. She was spotted out, late in the week, with boyfriend Jason Trawick and she looked better than she had in months. However, with him not immediately in sight, Spears let it all slide. She decided to run backwards through a hedge, take off her bra, and run wild at a gas station. This is a totally random situation that we’ve never been witness to before. The Uggs, the same hideous cut-offs she spent most of her breakdown wearing, and the ratty weave. Nope, this totally doesn’t look like a mid-breakdown Spears. Only, it does. Do you want to call a medic, or shall I?

Below are pictures of a bra-less Britney Spears at a gas station in Los Angeles, CA, March 19, 2010. Oh, you may like to know that Spears has learned how to fly.

Image credit Fame Pictures.

Britney Spears & Jason Trawick Shop Together

Amy Grindhouse — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 15:35:01 +0000

One does wonder whether celebrities even hear about all the outlandish rumours about themselves. It was rumoured, earlier in the week, that Britney Spears and talent-agent boyfriend Jason Trawick were split up. According to the reports, regurgitated as fact, the 28-year-old performer and her 38-year-old man-friend had split. The news appeared to have originated from the home of all B.S., the mouth of an anonymous source who had probably never even met the couple.

They were spotted together, hand in hand, looking very much a couple. You can decide for yourself, looking at the pics, but I think they’re at least still banging.

12 pics showing Spears and Trawick shopping in Beverly Hills, CA, March 17. After they finished in Beverly Hills, they drove to Studio City, CA, where they stopped at Party City for purchases including a headband crown for Spears. Trawick was said to have opened car doors for Spears. He also never missed a chance to hold her hand. Which guys totally only do when they’re getting some.

Image credit to Fame Pictures.

Britney Spears Will Probably Never Wear a Bra

Amy Grindhouse — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 05:19:33 +0000

What’s that saying, same old shish just a different day. Well today Britney Spears may have a new weave, but she still can’t manage to get on a bra in the morning. It’s not like she can’t afford something to contain those puppies.

She can afford to get her weave did. She can afford to go to Wal-Mart and get a Two-fer in this bish. I’m actually going to pause for a second after blogging about her saggy-ass tittehs and send her some of my underwear. All I got is one ripped bra, and one pair of church panties. But that’s more than she seems to have. Her GD tittehs are dragging on the floor. I’m prepared to blog bra-less until such time as I can afford to go back to Target. It’ll be worth it, to not have to stare at pics of her breasticles swinging and knocking paparazzi in the face.

If for some reason you wish to stare at her swing low, sweet chariots see below.

Image credit to Fame Pictures.

Britney Spears Blonde Hair and Extensions Pics

Amy Grindhouse — Sun, 28 Feb 2010 00:23:05 +0000

Hold the phone, Britney Spears’ usually matted weave doesn’t cover itself in glitter and unicorn vomit. Its unmatched, uncombed beauty is provided by weave experts. Experts I gather she pays to make her hair look like this.

The sometime singer spends more time dying her hair than she does singing, or mothering for that matter. Bored of her brown hair, and needing a quick and easy reason for the paps to take her picture again, the songstress headed to a West Hollywood salon. In place of actual staff, I am going to assume they are just leaving the unicorns to their own devices to vomit all over her hair unattended. It looks better than it did before. And if I were a betting woman, I would guess someone ran a comb through it. However, it is still looking a little woolen. The texture of the extensions never does quite match her own hair.

It’s better than nothing, and it’s probably the more humane option than running her through the car wash. Or just plonking a nest of possums atop her head, in the manner her handlers used to. You can click both pictures for a closer look.

New Britney Spears Candie’s Campaign Adverts

Amy Grindhouse — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 12:00:38 +0000

New Britney Spears Candie’s promos have been revealed. In the first picture Spears looks cute, if distorted in a hey-the-perspective-is-screwed-and-her-head-looks-too-big-for-her-body kind of way. This picture was taken by Annie Leibovitz. I know it’s a little hard to tell this is an Annie Leibovitz, as it doesn’t look like Spears was strung out on meth, unlike with the last official photo.

The bottom image looks to be pre-photoshop, joyfully. We can see Spears trying to re-capture her 1999-hotness in all her blotchy glory, rather than have to play the game of Guess Which Body Parts Were Photoshopped on Afterwards.

[ETA: My buddy PoorBritney points out the 2nd pic was a leaked photo from an '09 shoot, not new one. Sorry for the mix up, I got both pics from the same place.]

Image credit to World of Britney and Breathe Heavy thanks to ONTD.

Britney Upset About Extended Conservatorship

Amy Grindhouse — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 17:37:28 +0000

Britney Spears will be spending her Christmas chained to the radiator in my basement, along with Prostitot Cyrus, Amy Wino, and MooMoo Carey’s half-dead photoshoppers. Okay, I jest, she’ll be in her father’s basement not mine. The stringy-weaved singer is still under the control of her dungeon-master daddy.

She may not still be ill with the crazies, but she has been showing some signs of sliding back into her old ways. The weave long ago achieve sentience and is clinging onto her scalp for dear life. She looks sticky and she has been filmed driving around LA in circles for nothing more important that a coffee break.

An insider, who is inside my head, told OK! magazine that Spears has the Winter sads that she cannot flush her money down the toilet if she wants to. The singer is fast approaching 30-years-old and is a semi-competent mother to two children, and yet for the foreseeable future daddy Spears is going to be calling the shots.

Image credit to MAC/Fame Pictures. Story & info. OK! magazine and Hollyscoop.

Britney Spears 3 Music Video the Director’s Cut

Amy Grindhouse — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 02:11:41 +0000

Britney Spears 3 music video with additional scenes, for the director’s cut.

Britney Spears has released the director’s cut of her 3 music video. The original was underwhelming to say the least, but this version is marginally better.

The first version premiered to moderate hype, with her Twitter releasing three boring non-descript promotional music video stills. The director’s cut has a few more set-ups with Spears looking like your sensible, lace-clad auntie.

The 3 music video stills are below, for anyone wanting photos of her feet.

Image credit to @BritneySpears on Twitter. Video credit The Dish Rag.

Britney Spears Spends Birthday With Boyfriend

Amy Grindhouse — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 22:50:47 +0000

Britney Spears is 28-years-old today, December 2, 2009. The singer put on her possum pellet-free weave and then screwed the whole thing up by shoving the strands under that rather snazzy hat. The singer is back in Los Angeles after wrapping up her sell-out, lip synced Australian tour. While on the tour, Spears made with the WHAAAs as her supposed fans walked out in their hundreds in disgust over the sham of a concert. The singer is back in LA and what happens in Australia stays in Australia; concert scandals, holiday STDs, and etc. etc..

It was rumoured that Spears proposed to Jason Trawick and then dumped his ass in a fiery pit of GTFO when he said NO!!! But they don’t need to marry. He’s already her bish, carrying her enormous coin purse and her bags from Fred Segal.

Six pictures of Britney Spears at Fred Segal on her birthday with Jason Trawick.

Image credit to MAC/Fame Pictures.

Britney Spears Marriage Rumours Surface Again

Amy Grindhouse — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 16:11:54 +0000

Britney Spears and her on-again off-again boyfriend/ manager Jason Trawick are on the latest cover of OK! magazine. I know the title of the magazine has nothing to do with this pile of turdiness, but no, it’s most certainly not okay.

It’s not okay that our lady of all things over-caffeinated may be walking down the aisle with one of her staff. This guy seems nice and he’s exposed her kids to about 5% of the imminent danger that has their mother, but still a marriage would be ridiculous. Actually, anyone stable and non-plant-based would be a great match, she can hardly do worse than she already did with her ex partners.

Britney Spears Upset Over Concert Complaints

Amy Grindhouse — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 16:20:31 +0000

Britney Spears is having a pretty crappy week. She is said to be upset about fans walking out during a performance and criticisms of her Australian shows.

Britney Spears landed in Australia last week for her first ever shows there. Having not lip-synced and waddled around on an Aussie stage before, she clearly didn’t know that they have far higher standards for their shows down under. The singer, who isn’t really a singer but we aren’t supposed to point it out in case we upset her, was called out for her not singing live.

Last week, officials in Australia were debating whether it should have been mandatory to declare on promotional material that Spears was not singing live for most of her show. This is not something most of us need pointing out. Her fans know she would sound like unicorn farts and possum burps if she ever tried to sing and stumble around like a drunken college student at the same time. However, the controversy ended badly on the weekend. It was reported that hundreds of her fans walked out, three songs in, during her second show.

After poor reviews and non-stop bashings in the media, Spears is said to be sobbing into the shedding strands of her weave and then blowing her nose into her bras before they disintegrate from non-use.

Read more about how Britney Spears is feeling and what critics said of the show.

“Britney is aware of all this and she’s extremely upset by it,” Paul Dainty, Spears’ tour promoter, told The Australian on Monday. “She’s a human being. I’m embarrassed, with such a big international entourage here with Britney, to be part of the Australian media when I see that kind of totally inaccurate reporting.” Critics called her first concert, held in Perth on Friday, “boring” and “stiff.” In their reporting, Perth Now claimed “hundreds of fans stormed out” of the Friday concert. One fan, 22-year-old Amanda Hawlet put it bluntly: “I want my money back or I want her to sing properly. The ticket cost me $200 and she lip-synced the whole thing.” (via Pop Eater)

Image credit to BOZ1/ Flynet Pictures. Story via Pop Eater and Perth Now.

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