Vanity Fair has already released the July 2011 cover that features a never-before-seen engagement photo of the British royal couple, as taken in November/ December. The cover was taken by Mario Testino, as was the July 1997 Princess Diana cover taken by Testino 14-years ago. I can see why they didn’t use this photo before the wedding and why they left it out of the wedding’s promotional material. It’s nothing like as nice as the other engagement photos. It’s dark, oddly-composed and unflattering. It shows the sides of the couple’s faces and distorts their otherwise good-looking features. Along with the cover, Vanity Fair has posted an excerpt from the article. ‘Despite Will and Kate’s new official titles, duke and duchess, respectively, [William] made it clear at the wedding that he will continue to be addressed as Prince William, meaning Kate by default will be Princess Catherine, reports Vanity Fair writer Katie Nicholl. This may rattle some family hierarchies; the Countess of Wessex had wanted to be known as Princess Sophie, but had been forbidden by the Queen. The newest royal couple grace the July issue cover, with an exclusive portrait series by Mario Testino. The issue hits newsstands in New York and L.A. on Thursday, June 2, and nationally, in print and on the iPad, on Tuesday, June 7.’ Yeah, so it’s going to be out earlier than I’d expected but I guess it’s a normal July release date.
Testino has given an interview about photographing the couple to Nicholl, who also writes for The UK’s Mail On Sunday. Testino felt ‘very confident,’ photographing Kate Middleton, because of her natural grace. Asked why he’d been chose to take the photographs, he replied, ‘I guess it was a way for them to keep William’s mother in the whole process of it.’ Testino said that the couple exuded ‘sheer happiness,’ before adding, ‘They are a young couple in love.’
Anyone who thought they’d seen the last of the royal wedding covers should probably hide under their bed with the monsters right now. There’s going to be at least one more high-profile magazine cover. Exactly 14-years after the July 1997 Princess Diana Vanity Fair cover by Mario Testino, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge will cover a Vanity Fair issue of their own. The New York Post reports that William and Catherine will cover the July 2011 Vanity Fair, also shot by Testino. The cover will be recycled from an engagement photo taken in December. The photo is unreleased, but not newly-taken. The issue will be on newsstands just ahead of the royal newlyweds’ visit to Los Angeles in July. The spread inside will focus on the couple, Diana, Prince Charles, and Prince Harry.
Pippa Middleton got this week’s People cover. Several semi-nude pictures of her leaked. And her butt landed its own Facebook fan page. Which should show you what a sorry mess we’re in. Because the royals aren’t actually that interesting once you take away probable inbreeding and arranged marriages, the tabloids are having to make up their own stories. It’s being reported by this week’s InTouch that Middleton really wants to jump the bones of her brother-in-law, Prince Harry. ‘The claws are out as party-pals-turned-arch-rivals Pippa Middleton and Chelsy Davy battle for Prince Harry’s heart,’ claims the magazine. Even though Middleton and Prince Harry have significant others, Star ran a very similar story last week, ‘William’s brash brother caught in [a] love triangle with Kate’s sexy sister… [the two] got über close [with over-the-top flirtatious behavior] during five intense months of wedding planning… their secret get-togethers were the talk of the palace. Pippa’s boyfriend, cricket star Alex Loudon… has hopes of tying the knot but might be intimidated by some royally large competition [especially after Pippa] slipped into Harry’s for several intimate dances.’ There have also been stories about the non-existent rivalry between Pippa Middleton and sister Kate, with their ‘pushy’ parents grooming them for their future husbands and encouraging them to trade-up. The only true story this week was about the nude leaks. She did go topless on vacation in 2006; a friend sold the vacation photos to the media. Her parents took legal action to block the photos.
Princess Beatrice intends to sell the monstrous Philip Treacy fascinator worn to the royal wedding, which should be a challenge considering it long ago became sentient and stormed New York. Rather than shooting at it, or luring it from atop the Empire State Building with the promise of bananas, or KILLING IT WITH FIRE, Princess Beatrice is planning to sell the designer piece for charity. ‘She’s putting it up on eBay to auction it for UNICEF and for Children in Crisis,’ her mother Duchess Sarah Ferguson, announced Wednesday on The Oprah Winfrey Show. I think an eBay auction is irresponsible, I would rather see some kind of bomb or flame-throwing device used in the disposal of this hat. But so long as the person who buys it helps the needy, I guess we can overlook the inevitable bloodbath.
I’m lumping these into one post, for the same reason I lumped the last load of post-wedding updates into one post. Because I need to pee and this stuff doesn’t type itself. The covers shown below include OK!, Newsweek, Hello!, People, and Us Weekly. With a mix of British, Canadian, and American editions of some covers. They’re all post-Friday and feature the kiss or official wedding photos.
So, with the royal wedding over, I’m pretty resolved to mentioning it as little as possible. That said, there are some updates and so I’m going to shoehorn them into one post with a force previously only applied to slices of pizza into my mouth. The Friday wedding was generally considered to be a success. Not least because the entire United Kingdom had the day off and the worst of the rain held out (it’s also a national holiday today and, incidentally, there’s not a cloud in the sky). Above is one of three of the official pictures that were taken to commemorate the event. The other two are below, along with this week’s Time cover, which I’m throwing in for good measure. The above is the one that’s probably going to cover the mid-week magazines, so you know what you’re aiming for; it shows the newly-married Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, their post-wedding titles, holding hands and expressing that at least one of them is holding in gnarly gas. The rest of the images are family photos, with a dozen people holding in their gas. The only pictures with some life are the ones with the children who don’t seem aware they’re having their picture taken. The hastily throw-together and tenuously-linked Time cover shows the wedding kiss. It’s probably not worth buying if you followed the event live. But if you’re planning on having children who won’t care, one day, you may want to buy a few issues for them. In related news, a professional lip-reader took the time to cover the royal wedding too and transcribed the entire event’s unspoken moments. The only comments worth noting were the incessant asking whether Duchess Kate Middleton was ‘okay,’ and the Queen’s bemoaning, ‘I wanted them to take the smaller carriage,’ referring to the vehicle boarded for a post-ceremony ride.
Also below are William and Kate, post-wedding, and Charles and Diana’s photo.