Still not liking her but posting these anyway because the power of breasts compels me, here’s Rihanna on her bikinis & blunts tour of Hawaii. The singer has basically been choking to death on her own fumes while undressing for strangers and I’m okay with this because BOOBIES. A bunch more photos below.
I intended to ignore this, assuming it would blow over like all other racist scandals including randoms. However, this has blown up so I’m paying it lip service. A magazine editor called Rihanna the N-word in a magazine article title. The TITLE. Because racism is totes funny and we’re all being over-sensitive to its use as a lede. A Dutch magazine, JACKIE, called the singer the ‘Ultimate N**gab**ch [With] Ghetto A$$,’ in a post translated as: ‘She has street cred, she has a ghetto a$$ and she has a golden throat. Rihanna, the good girl gone bad, is the ultimate n**gab**ch and displays that gladly.’ Um, this didn’t go over well once a screenshot of the article went viral. Editor-in-chief Eva Hoeke responded on Facebook that it was a joke. You know, funny haha: ‘This should have never happened. Period. While the author meant no harm, the title of the article was intended as a joke, it was a bad joke, to say the least. And that slipped through my… fingers. Stupid, painful and sucks for all concerned. The author has been addressed on it, and now I can only ensure that these terms will no longer end up in the magazine. Furthermore I hope that you all believe there was absolutely no racist motive behind the choice of words. It was stupid, it was naive to think that this was an acceptable form of slang. You hear it all the time on tv and radio, then your idea of what is normal apparently shifts, but it was especially misguided: there was no malice behind it. We never intended to offend anyone.’
Rihanna didn’t find it funny, tweeting: ‘I hope u can read english, because your magazine is a poor representation of the evolution of human rights! I find you disrespectful, and rather desperate!! There are 1000′s of Dutch girls who would love to be recognized for their contributions to your country, you could have given them an article. Instead, u paid to print one degrading an entire race! That’s your contribution to this world! To encourage segregation, to mislead the future leaders to act in the past! You put two words together, with the intent of abasement, that made no sense…”N**GA B**CH”?!….Well with all respect, on behalf of my race, here are my two words for you…F**K YOU!!!’ Hoeke resigned following the backlash, again blaming ‘Murikans for their racist terms: ‘Because of the enormous pressure from social media, I can promise improvement in terms of language used in future issues of Jackie. Previously, I offered rectification. As I now come to the conclusion that rectification is not the right solution, I am departing. The term ‘n**ga b**tch’ has come over from America and we have only this to describe this particular style of clothes that we can try to interpret. After eight years, with my heart and soul, I have worked for Jackie. I realize that these errors, although no malicious intent, is a reason to leave.’
I’m loathe to write about her twice in one day, but this is a follow-up I think a bunch of you would be interested in. Back in February, it was alleged by David LaChapelle that Rihanna and the director of her S&M music video stole its entire treatment/ visual from his life’s work. I don’t mean obscure pieces, but some of his most famous works were ripped off. OOPS! I mean ‘borrowed’ in homage without a royalty, Beyonce-style. LaChapelle alleged imitation of his poses, lighting, wardrobe and props, ‘directly derived from and substantially similar to’ eight of his photos. And he sued Rihanna and her label DefJam for $1 million. At the time, after attacking Rihanna and video co-star Perez Hilton on Twitter, LaChapelle said, ‘I like RiRi. This is not personal, it’s strictly business. Musicians commonly pay to sample music or use someone’s beats and there should be no difference when sampling an artist’s visuals.’ In July, Manhattan federal Judge Shira Scheindlin sided with the photographer and Page Six claims Rihanna’s settled out of court for an undisclosed amount. Jaret Keller, LaChapelle’s rep, wouldn’t confirm the amount, saying simply ‘David is happy with the settlement.’
Rihanna scored Sexiest Woman Alive without even being peed on by a bottom-feeding rapper. Progress! The singer is debatably the sexiest woman alive, so long as your definition of ‘sexy’ involves exposed areola and taint. Rihanna’s not remarkable. She’s very pretty, but she’s moderately talented. She’s popular because she’s always naked, it’s not rocket science. 1) Be half-naked in public 2) Give lapdances at your concerts 3) Grab own taint at concerts 4) ??? 5) Profit.
I don’t like Rihanna. She’s just another very pretty girl with a very mediocre ‘talent,’ IMO. However, every now and then I check in on celebrities who’ve long been blacklisted for shenanigans. This is one of those times. And this is her second Vogue cover in a year, and Vogue is somewhat averse to putting women of colour on their covers. So, yeah. This is Rihanna’s British Vogue November 2011 cover. I hate the top half of that dress. Everything from the waist down is interesting and flattering but the chest ‘plate’ part is digging into her armpit. And she’s wearing another blonde wig, she wore a wig just as unflattering for her Armani underwear adverts. Are you over people putting her in bad blonde wigs? Several comments I’m reading right now see it as white-washing. Do you agree?
Okay, so for those who missed precisely nothing by ignoring the Billboard Awards, you also missed nothing with the world’s laziest display of feigned lesbianism. In a stunt that was either too heavily-reliant on Britney Spears’ diminished sense of timing or just a cute peck on the cheek, it would appear that Spears and She Of Whom We Do Not Speak kissed on stage. I don’t mean with tongues. Nor even with half the vigor Spears put into the choreographed kiss with Madonna. But, somewhere after the finger banging by backing dancers and working the stripper pole, there was enough sapphic action to prompt producers to cut away and back again leaving the kiss out. It’s above, for anyone whose right click still works.
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