Posts Tagged ‘NSFW’

The women with whom Hugh Hefner had sex for ‘pocket money’ are thrilled sexually with their pimp’s shriveled penis. Because it was less effort than sexing an actual pickle, former whores of the glorified brothel/ porn mansion are coming forward at Hefner’s behest to defend his sexual prowess. Earlier in the week, admitted fake runaway bride Crystal Harris went on Howard Stern’s radio show to say she had sex with Hefner one time and it lasted, ‘like, two seconds.’ Hefner went on the offensive on Twitter calling Harris a liar and saying she was probably trying to placate the new piece of rich d**k in her life. ‘Crystal lied about our relationship on Howard Stern but I don’t know why… Maybe a new boyfriend?’ Hefner wrote and deleted on Tuesday night. ‘Crystal convinced me that she adored me… That was the first lie. [But] when I said, ‘I missed a bullet’ when Crystal left, I didn’t mean I didn’t love her, I meant that I realized she didn’t love me.’ Well, former whores are saying current whores love Hef’s d**k.

‘I’ve heard girls say they have a lot of fun in there,’ says Hiromi Oshima, Miss June 2004, a Playmate who spoke to People Tuesday night during a Playboy TV party at the mansion… ‘Hef is a lover,’ says Dani Mathers, who works at Playboy TV. ‘I think they definitely had sex more than that one time and it wasn’t two minutes. Hef definitely has a sex life.’ There’s more. ‘I think the whole thing with Crystal is really sad, and Hef is such an amazing man. He provides so much for everyone that’s around him and all of the Playmates,’ says Shanna McLaughlin, who appeared in the magazine in July 2010. ‘I think some things should be kept private between two people, especially in a break-up scenario.’ [People]

Hefner’s employees and bottom b**ches say he’s good in bed. Case closed.

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Crystal Harris is still giving interviews about the fake relationship with her pimp and about the wedding that was never going to take place. The Runaway Bride thing already aired, I didn’t bother to watch in the end. It would have been contrived, scripted, staged and faked and I’d never have gotten those minutes of my life back. Well, Harris gave an interview, Tuesday, on Sirius XM Radio’s Howard Stern Show. On the show, she dismissed her former pimp’s sexual prowess by saying he lasted ‘like two seconds’ in bed. Somehow, baby lotion and venereal disease did not equal staying power. ‘Then I was just over it,’ she says. ‘I was like, ‘Ahhh.’ I was over it. I just like, walked away. I’m not turned on by Hef, sorry…. He doesn’t really take off his clothes, I’ve never seen Hef naked.’ Harris insists they had sex, but only one time. Oh, and since the split, she probably started banging Dr. Phil’s son, Jordan McGraw. ‘They were joined by two women who stayed for about an hour,’ s source tells People of their meet-up at Le Parker Meridien in NYC. ‘Crystal was drinking mojitos and laughing, and Jordan was sipping a drink on the rocks. But once their friends left, they settled.’

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