There’s a bunch of We Knew That Already news today, so let’s just skip to the part where The Big Bang Theory’s Jim Parson is outed as a gay man within the New York Times piece promoting his Broadway role in Harvey. The 39-year-old (10-months away from turning 40), is nonchalantly noted as ‘gay and in a 10-year relationship’ with little other elaboration except WE KNOW THAT YOU KNOW.
Updating with ‘Yep, he’s alive,’ since the police don’t even care enough to do that, I thought I’d let you all know Terminator 3 actor Nick Stahl is alive. The 32-year-old was reported missing by his wife last week. Although, there was no concerted effort to find him because ‘Meh,’ that would take actual work. Instead, police conjectured that no smoking gun meant ‘F**k it, he’s probably alive in a crack house somewhere. These things have a way of working themselves out.’ Specifying that there was ‘nothing mysterious’ in a grown man going missing so they’d stick to ‘networking’ rather than investigating because there was no crime. Stahl checked into a Los Angeles rehabilitation center on Sunday, after sending an email to friends and family assuring them of his safety.
Of course Sofia Vergara went for a walk around New York City May 17 with her pants unbuttoned. Because we’ve already established that The Highfalutin don’t button their own pants, and they’re left wanting when their help is on vacation (that’s why poor people shouldn’t get vacation days or sick days or maternity leave… excuses, excuses). I guess at some point a passing random buttoned her up, because her stubble isn’t showing in photos from later the same day.
Releasing a statement where every second word is ‘fat’ or ‘ugly,’ Khloe Kardashian’s giving some weird manifesto to E! News about her appearance. She already said she was bullied as a kid, and her mother has called her ‘fat,’ and she’s over being called ‘Shrek’ and a ‘transvestite.’ And now she tells her captors a E! she’s over being called the ‘ugly sister’ because she’s ‘pretty damn hot,’ her words: ‘I was called fat all the time. I’ve always been compared to my sisters, who are beautiful and who have always been. I feel like I was so attacked. [I was picked on because] I had to wear braces, I was overweight as a kid, just for no reason. I’m called the fat sister. I’m called the ugliest Kardashian. I’m proud of myself. I could break and go get all this plastic surgery and get my nose fixed and get lipo or do whatever, but I haven’t chosen to do that because I know I’m a great person. I’m pretty damn hot, if you ask me.’
Here’s Halle Berry using her breasts for the betterment of womankind as recompense for yelling at paparazzi last week. Because her breasts approve of the publicity, they just don’t approve of people stalking her kid and by extension the other babies at her daughter’s school (which, incidentally, I could have the address of in a second because my photo agencies are sloppy and inconsistent with blurring out its name in candid photos). 10 photos included below of Berry, a bemused Mario Lopez, Matthew Morrison, and Stacy Keibler, this weekend at the 2012 Entertainment Industry Foundation Revlon Run/Walk for women in L.A..
Dita Von Teese has a promotional interview in The Advocate in which she sounds appropriately bummed to be completely heterosexual because take it from me The Gays, it’s not all it’s cracked up to be. MEH! I’m going to say little, but just offer the full quote in context because it’s spectacular. Asked by the magazine ‘Obviously you’re the desire of many straight men as well as gay and bisexual women. Do you identify as bisexual or straight or heteroflexible?’ She replied: ‘I guess now at age 39, after much experimentation over the years, I have come to realize that I am hetero, which I personally think is unfortunate, because in my dreams, my sexual attraction isn’t limited to just men! But it is what it is, isn’t it? We don’t really get to decide, do we? But I have to admit, I still fantasize about being swept away by an elegantly dressed and gorgeous butch lesbian. It’s just all that cliché faux-girl-on-girl ‘look at me, guys’ stuff I’m not into.’
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