Because there’s apparently no worst-case scenario that involves Google Mapping the quickest routes to your dealer and then the Emergency Room, Will Smith’s 14-year-old actor son, Jaden, is already asking to be emancipated so he can live alone. Which I would have immediately dismissed as rumour except Will apparently said this himself during a recent interview. According to Will, his youngest son asked for something specific for his upcoming 15th birthday: ‘He says, ‘Dad, I want to be emancipated.’ I know if we do this, he can be an emancipated minor, because he really wants to have his own place… That’s the backlash. On the other side, if kids just want to have command of their lives, I understand.’
Posts Tagged ‘News’
PEOPLE editors stopped picking their Most Beautiful with their d**ks when they realised their readers didn’t have d**ks themselves, and so this is what we’re left with as 2013′s pick. She’s obviously pretty, yes, but that’s not really the point when she’s packing her children off to school with silk socks and pocket squares in their lunch boxes in lieu of actual food because digesting is for poor people. And in case you wanted to know what your face needs to look like in the morning before you can be called the Most Beautiful anything, this is Gwyneth Paltrow on her way to a photo shoot with the requisite clean face and hair.
I read about this one whole sleep ago and I guess I’ve been in a rage coma ever since because this popped up in my feed again and I was all ‘… Oh.’ Former beauty queen and reality star Shanna Moakler gave an interview that killed off enough of my brain cells that I had to spend the interim 24 hours re-learning how to read and write. And I’m going to use my words… all of them… to ask WHAT????? According to Moakler, it would be icky, just icky, to put her boob anywhere near her own kids’ mouths in the name of sustenance because boobs are for Playboy and nothing else. Barely paraphrasing. That’s a thing she said.
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Reese Witherspoon broke character 37 years into ‘Reese Witherspoon: Undercover Trainwreck’ when she yelled at the Atlanta cop who prevented Jim Toth from drunkenly driving into someone. Witherspoon used her words to put the cop in his place only to get yelled at by her own husband for making things worse. Then she went on Good Morning America where she lied about being sorry because credulous audiences love it when scripted words sound contrite. And now it’s REALLY okay that she rehearsed ‘Sowwy’ in the mirror so you’d like her again because here she is wearing a hat with the Atlanta P.D.’s name on it.
Yoga pants aren’t 37 years of Reese Witherspoon playing herself in the Lifetime movie ‘Reese Witherspoon: Undercover Trainwreck.’ Nor are yoga pants Lindsay Lohan checking herself into and back out of the wrong rehab. Nor are they Amanda Bynes reenacting Britney Spears’ 2006 breakdown in 140 characters or less. So here are some pictures of God damn anybody in yoga pants because I cannot with some of these celebrities anymore. Eight photos of Julianne Hough.
Reese Witherspoon’s greatest role to date is ‘Reese Witherspoon, girl next door’ because she’s really been a complete a**hole this whole time. Lainey Gossip has an anecdote that makes the point: ‘For years I have been telling you she’s not the sweetness she’s been selling you. And still people are surprised. At a recent Faculty of Celebrity Studies event, I told a story about Reese being a d*ck and some people were surprised, like they couldn’t believe it. Because she goes to church and has a nice smile.’ And according to Star Magazine this week, both Witherspoon and her irresponsible husband are as bad as each other. A source tells the tabloid, ’[Reese] got discovered young, she got pregnant and married young, and has no connection to the real world. With her, what happens in public and what happens in private is very different. She’s actually the real girl next door, not the cliched girl next door [and she likes] guys with an edge.’ The source adds that while CAA rep Jim Toth ‘was on his best behavior’ until recently, ‘things started to change last year’ because ‘Jim gets very loud and obnoxious when he drinks, and it’s embarrassing for Reese. He’s totally himself with her now, which means he can be a party animal again.’ However, ‘This isn’t going to break up their marriage. It was a really bad decision on both of their parts. They’re evaluating that and will make damn sure it doesn’t happen again.’