In what looks like an old-timey photo colourized decades later, Scarlett Johansson covers Vogue May 2012 promoting her role as Black Widow in The Avengers because the jiggle requires Vogue styling. Looking almost like her old self with that hair, Johansson poses for Mario Testino. Her shoot and interview are below.
Penelope Cruz’s breasts are trying to escape Terry’s basement, on the cover of Harper’s Bazaar May 2012. Good grief, we’re nearly halfway through the year again already. Time flies when you’re comfort-eating in your jammies (real conversation with Father Grindhouse over Easter Sunday lunch… FG: ‘So, how’s the site going? Still enjoying it? Making good money?’ Me: ‘Yeah, it’s going great, thanks. I’d take the worst day doing this over my best day in an office. More to the point, I work four/five-hour days in my jammies. I’m good’). Cutting off the goods because Harper’s Bazaar can’t boob like GQ can boob, here’s the shoot along with interview excerpts and a behind-the-scenes video below.
Zooey Deschanel’s heavy bangs and nerd girl ‘a-dork-able’ shtick cover Marie Claire May 2012. It’s a varied interview, but I’m going to skip right to a few parts that are blowing up following the news vacuum that is the Easter weekend.
Deschanel admits not wanting kids and talks about losing weight as a teenager because she was ‘chubby.’ In the interview, like Jon Hamm/ Jennifer Westfeldt and flaky Jennifer Aniston, Deschanel says she doesn’t feel compelled to arbitrarily push a baby out of her just because she has the plumbing to do so. Someone alert Gwyneth Paltrow! I like that Deschanel doesn’t hedge her words, she’s all ‘Nah, babies aren’t for me.’ Although, I’m a little annoyed with the qualifier that she ‘likes’ kids as though the child-free do not and as though getting pregnant has anything to do with liking kids. Then the weight thing, I think Deschanel compensated for her weight by over-egging her personality.
Charlize Theron is on the promotional trail for Snow White & The Huntsman and Prometheus, the former being released first. She’s the Evil Queen in SWATH, in stark contrast to Julia Roberts playing the same role in Basic Snow White: Mirror Mirror. The films are nothing alike, save for both queens suffering Wandering Accent Syndrome. I didn’t hate Mirror Mirror, but then I skipped most of the parts with the dwarves (they were annoying). Mirror Mirror is knowingly cheap-looking and infantile, but then it’s fit for its intended audience. SWATH wants an older audience. It’s darker, and brooding. Theron covers Vogue UK May, with her feet taking up the foreground and her Grace Kelly impression in the background.
Lauren Conrad appears to be making some kind of lukewarm comeback to a career based on a long-cancelled reality show featuring Heidi Montag’s 1.0 face. I don’t know to what end, aside from MONIES. Because I’m paying little attention to her promotional trail and interviews. But this one caught my eye only because of its contrast to fellow reality star Kendra Wilkinson’s admission of talentless-ness earlier in the week. Wilkinson was very open about being famous for no reason, saying: ‘I have no talent. I have nothing to offer.’ However Conrad, who phoned-in authorship and a cancelled fashion line, says she’s famous because being followed by cameras and remembering lines for The Hills was hard: ‘It was very frustrating because I almost wanted to send critics my weekly schedule and say, ‘This is my ‘nothing.’ I would film all day, and then I had several other businesses on the side. In the last season I was running a clothing line and writing a novel. I work really, really hard.’ Interview below, along with her shoot.
Posting this only to remind myself to watch the next episode of Mad Men when I’m done, here’s Jon Hamm on the cover of Esquire UK May 2012. It’s another odd interview, since no one seems to know how to interview Hamm in a manner that excites more than his boilerplate answers and Ryan Gosling man-crush. It gets a little old, if you’ve read so much as one other interview with him. It becomes like shtick, even though it’s not Hamm but the interviewer sticking to a safe script. In any case, for the same straight guys as before ruing their attraction to vagina and wishing sexuality were a choice, below are excerpts from Hamm’s wandering interview and a pleasingly off-type photo shoot.
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