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Posts Tagged ‘Magazine’

Gwyneth Paltrow: ‘I’m Never Smug Or Prim’

Gwyneth Paltrow covers Elle magazine September 2011 and shills a movie in which she dies in the trailer. Then she name-drops to promote her horrifying, impending music career/ solo album. GOOPY looks like she’s plotting my murder on the cover, right? Probably because I’ve said so many mean (true) things about her on this site. While I build myself a pillow fort, you can check out her interview and shoot below because at least one of us will get to laugh at lies about how she’s never ‘smug’ in her marriage or ‘prim’ in the way she behaves.

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Anne Hathaway Marie Claire UK September 2011

Anne Hathaway covers Marie Claire UK September 2011 in a Dolce & Gabbana dress I need to get me on layaway. Her interview’s very long and boring, if I’m honest. But I find her boring to read in most interviews. She gave some cute televised interviews with Jakey Poo when promoting bulls**t bait and switch Love & Other Drugs, but 90% of that was Poo’s charm rubbing off on her. Well, she’s very pretty in everything so let’s stare at her instead. Hathaway’s in what appears to be navy and white D&G stars. That’s the cutest dress on her, right? Ugh, LOVE. Although, I’m the kind of silly b**ch who scrolls glassy-eyed through NSFW photos and bemoans sloppily-applied eye make-up… when there are titties popping out everywhere… I need a penis to do this job properly. Her interview snippets are below, the full interview’s in the September issue released tomorrow. There’s another photo from her Mark Abrahams shoot also below.

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Jessica Alba Will Starve Herself Thin Post-Baby

Jessica Alba intends to starve herself thin and wear a post-partum girdle to suck everything back in. I’m actually not kidding or making fun. Alba has given an interview with Lucky’s latest issue. Some of this sounds like quotes she gave after her first kid’s birth, when she admitted getting right into a girdle to hide her post-baby figure. I don’t know. The photos from this are weird too, they were either taken the better part of a year ago or they’ve been Photoshopped to remove her bump. It’s such a craptacular shoot, the cover being the best/ worst example, that I can’t tell. Well, she does admit in plain English restricting her intake to 1,200 calories-a-day and she’ll be ‘starving’ after heavy exercise.

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Lea Michele Covers Harper’s Bazaar September

Because no one less-annoying was available at short notice, Harper’s Bazaar has chosen Lea Michele as its September 2011 cover girl. Harper’s Bazaar doesn’t love you, that’s why it’s picking celebrity names out of a hat. Spite, that’s what that is. Well, her sidetit covers the new issue because Michele’s ribcage tattoos are less-abrasive that Miley Cyrus’ ribcage tattoos. A preview of the cover is below. Above is the same image, in higher resolution, as it will be used for the cover. Sidenote: the September 2010 Jennifer Aniston cover was the boilerplate.

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Kirsten Dunst Listened To Sad Music And Cried

Kirsten Dunst gives a bummer of an interview to Elle UK September 2011. Oh, yeah, and the September covers are coming out now. Dunst talks about beating depression after her break-up with Razorlight’s Johnny Borrell in 2008. How did she cope? ‘We all want the bad guy who doesn’t give you what you want,’ she opined. ‘I did a lot of sitting in my car, listening to sad music, crying over boys.’ Yikes. She says current boyfriend Rilo Kiley drummer Jason Boesel is less drama. He’s ‘not into partying and it works.’ Also, ‘We have similar schedules: long periods of time off and periods of mad work. When I’ve finished work, I travel to be with him. It’s special.’ The subscriber cover and editorial preview are below.

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Olivia Wilde Resents You For Making Her Sext

Olivia Wilde covers the August issue of Nylon in denim-on-denim because that’s how dedicated are Nylon to producing ugly covers. Wilde is promoting that goofy movie about two things that should never be on-screen together (I’m loathe to speak its name). But that’s why she’s on the promotional trail; shilling her failed marriage and her breasts, because those are the only interesting things about her. In the issue, Wilde explains that dating’s totes hard now that you have to update your Facebook relationship status in a timely manner and sext your love in the form of taint photos (she’s never dated as an adult, she married at 18).

‘Dating is new to me.’ She says it has especially hard in the modern world, where much communication is done via cell phones and email. ‘I see the whole thing like someone who’s been in a coma and I’ve come out like, ‘Wait, people text message? They text love? How do you text about love?’ she said. In the interview, Wilde also insists she has put on a few pounds since her marriage ended, saying her ‘fat jeans’ are now not so loose any more. ‘I got a divorce and self medicated with food. But I figure that’s better than self-medicating with crack cocaine.’ [Nylon via Daily Mail]

There are a bunch of photos and outtakes added from her Nylon shoot below.

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