Posts Tagged ‘Lohan’

Lindsay Lohan’s Playboy photos leaked this weekend in what appears to be a contrived ploy by its founder to boost the sales of ginger biscuits. To some extent, it worked. Hefner boasted on Twitter that Lohan was Friday’s hottest search term. Since there’s somehow a correlation between the entire spread being leaked and increased sales of the same. But this is the logic of a pimp octogenarian whose primary business model is to shenanigan people into paying for free porn. Lohan’s interview leaked at the same time. It’s the same as every other interview where she lies about learning from her mistakes. And this time she’s quoting Marilyn Monroe and the male gaze as excuses for getting naked.

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Basically admitting in plain English the leak was a contrived ploy to boost sales, Hugh Hefner just announced Lindsay Lohan’s leaked issue of Playboy will be released early. Over a series of Twitter messages, Hefner feigned shock at the leak then got all giddy about how many people were Googling it: ‘The Lindsay Lohan pictorial has been leaked on the Internet & is causing a sensation… The Lindsay Lohan issue of Playboy is going to be a true Collector’s Edition… Because of the interest & the Internet leak, we’re releasing the Lindsay Lohan issue early… Lindsay Lohan was the top search name on the Internet yesterday. Her issue goes on sale late next week. Hot. Hot. Hot.’ Then he retweeted sycophantic messages from the four people who intend to pay for the issue: ‘Don’t worry big papa a lot of us will be buying the Lindsay Lohan Mag including females lol,’ and ‘It will be my 1st Playboy I ever bought! I am a 32 yr old woman & can’t wait! Go @lindsaylohan,’ and ‘she looks incredible, a really beautiful pictorial, I can’t wait,’ and ‘Wow the pictorial is amazing and @lindsaylohan looks incredible! Can’t wait for the issue to go on sale here.’ You should totes pay for porn, as is everyone cool, because Hefner has decided this poor man’s copy pasta of the nude NYMag Lohan/ Monroe spread is a ‘Collector’s edition.’

Here’s Lindsay Lohan’s January/ February 2012 Playboy cover that was yesterday afternoon confirmed as real as though the magazine or Lohan didn’t leak it themselves. Well, in all its lame, spreadeagled glory, here’s a slightly better look at the cover. Added, for funsies, I’ve done a side-by-side of the 2012 cover and its October 1971 boilerplate. Moreover, whenever I see that layout I think of the original and the 2009 Marge Simpson cover that stopped just left of Hentai.

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That didn’t take long. Here’s a preview of Lindsay Lohan’s January/ February 2012 Playboy cover. The cover shows the 25-year-old, presumably nude, sitting on a backward-facing Playboy bunny-shaped chair. Random thoughts: this isn’t very… special; needs more biscuit; the crack crumbs have been brushed from her weave, so her hair looks good; mercy, the photos were taken before she did this to her lips; she’s showing no more boob than on the red carpet, she’s showing no more leg than she would wearing shorts; I think I like the shoes; it’s not a too-literal Marilyn Monroe shoot, phew; meh. The official release will be on Ellen.

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Lindsay Lohan will celebrate Crackmas with the debut of her Playboy January 2012 cover. Lohan was paid nearly $1 million to dust off her cracked ginger biscuits. She needed two tries to get the shoot right. NY Daily News reports Lohan gave the exclusive reveal to The Ellen DeGeneres Show. Moreover, the 25-year-old has declined to do any other interviews or any other promotion for the cover. ‘Lindsay has agreed to do one media interview during the on-sale period of her issue, and has chosen Ellen,’ rep Steve Honig told the NYDN. ‘Lindsay will not be doing any additional interviews to promote her pictorial.’