In a battle of who is more delusional, Lindsay Lohan gave a print interview with Piers Morgan about how cocaine and booze aren’t even that great but ecstasy and weed actually live up to the hype. She claimed, right before going into two different rehabs, that she was not an alcoholic nor was she a junkie. And yet according to the kinds of sources who go through the trash outside of rehab, Lohan is already picking the locks and telling anyone who will listen that she doesn’t need to be there anyway. ‘Lindsay is already begging to switch out of Betty Ford,’ claims a source. ‘She has been complaining to everyone that will listen that she doesn’t want to be there and that it isn’t the best place for her.’ And because the original choice of rehab in the Hamptons wasn’t enough, she’s asking to move again. ‘Lindsay says she wants to go to either a treatment center in Hawaii, Crossroad Centre in Antigua, or even Lukens Institute in Florida.’
Lindsay Lohan gave an interview with the Daily Mail Online shortly before making a farce of rehab. The 26-year-old traded easy rehab in the Hamptons for pretend rehab in Los Angeles for real rehab at Betty Ford because she’s got a real lawyer now and can do whatever the hell she wants. But she tells Piers Morgan that rehab is a complete waste of everybody’s time because she doesn’t have a problem; she’s ‘not an alcoholic’ and she’s ‘not a junkie.’ In what feels like 10,000 words of delusion between interviewer and interviewee, Lohan basically says cocaine isn’t even that great and she can quit drugs AND drinking any time. ’Everybody thinks I’ve done [cocaine] so many times. But I’ve only done it four or five times in my life… I don’t like it,’ she says. And here’s what’s not on her shopping list, ‘I’ve never taken heroin either, never injected myself with anything, never done LSD. Those things all scare me.’ She also tried ‘Pot, obviously. And ecstasy. I liked that better than the other [drugs].’ Adding, ‘I’ve never been a huge drinker. I’ve never woken up in the morning and had a drink.’ She continues… ‘I’ve never been a junkie and never will be. I just like going out late to clubs.’ Why is rehab pointless? ‘I don’t think I need to be on lockdown for three months. I don’t think that’s rehab. I’ve been court-ordered to do it six times. I could write the book on rehab. Constantly sending me to rehab is pointless. The first few times I was court-ordered to rehab it was like a joke, like killing time. They just asked me the same old questions I’d answered before.’
Lindsay Lohan was supposed to get an easy ride at the Hamptons spa that passes for rehab and so of course she checked into a rehab in California instead, without facing any immediate consequences. And you’ll never guess what she was doing while Lionel Hutz was lying about her whereabouts and giving the courts an inaccurate time of check-in… she was checking herself out illegally and going shopping. According to reports on Thursday, Lohan picked her own rehab in another city and while the court was reviewing her shenanigans the actress was checking herself out of the facility she wasn’t supposed to be attending in the first place. The facility is not even court-approved. Moreover, it’s as shady as Hutz’s ambulance-chasing and the center has no licence to perform rehabilitative treatment anymore because its licence was revoked. According to the New York Daily News, she only gave it a few minutes and then ‘She told people there that she didn’t need rehab.’ TMZ.com adds, prosecutors are currently seeking a warrant for Lohan’s arrest if she doesn’t return to rehab within hours.
On Wednesday afternoon, Lindsay Lohan pushed her cocaine just out of frame using only her nose and asked one of her Johns to take a photo of her while packing for rehab. She shared the above photo with the caption ’90 days and 270 looks,’ referring to her spending a lot of time thinking about getting photographed and not a lot of time getting better. And TMZ.com says she can’t even rehab right because she is on route to the wrong facility in the wrong city as I write this. Apparently, she decided not to go to court-approved rehab and instead found somewhere on her own that would also allow her to smoke. And if she doesn’t fly back from Los Angeles to New York and register at the correct center tomorrow, as required by law, she will have breached her plea deal.
Lindsay Lohan will make a mockery of rehab this weekend. But before she leaves for treatment she’s cramming in as many of her favourite activities as possible, including bar-hopping in New York City and illegal driving. This time, the 26-year-old’s Porsche Panamera has been towed because you’re somehow not allowed to park wherever the hell you want just like you’re not allowed to run over anyone you want. According to TMZ.com, Lohan parked illegally in Brooklyn and got towed on Saturday. Even though she never found the coins to pay her old lawyer, her storage fees, and the million other tabs her Johns failed to pick up I guess there was enough money on her nightstand to get the car out of the impound lot.
When a judge mentioned something about rehab in New York this summer the only words Lindsay Lohan heard were ‘The Hamptons’ because that’s where the facility that’s already failed her father is located. And because her gift card for The 27 Club isn’t going to punch itself, Lohan is basically stalling so she can drink and party a bunch before pretending to get help. According to a source, Lohan is basically hitting the snooze button on her life and Lionel Hutz is making this too easy. ‘The judge told Lindsay that she had to be enrolled in the rehab by May 2, but it’s possible that her defense attorney might try and say that she is ‘enrolled’ with her actual check-in date later than that day,’ says the source. ‘She could say that she is scheduled to go to rehab at a future date and has everything arranged with a rehab place, but she might not physically be there on May 2.’