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Posts Tagged ‘Kim Kardashian’

Kim Kardashian Reacts To Fake Nude Photo

Apr 27th, 2012
by Amy Grindhouse.
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I take it today’s fake nude of Kim Kardashian is circulating because Googling ‘Boobies’ on an iPhone with one hand is only so entertaining. Because it’s not like there are endless real photos of someone who has effectively made her name in porn, only to sterilise her own career history when it behooves her. And it’s not like she blew a guy and released it for profit because pimp momma needs a new pair of shoes. These are the lessons we take away, when another photo of Kardashian is released (NSFW, obviously). Which, according to The Daily Mail, first surfaced on TheDirty.com then on MediaTakeOut.com who claim it’s Kardashian ‘before her boob job.’ Which ignores its own readers calling the photos ‘retarded,’ the random girl’s flatter chest and butt and obviously-different face/ hair/ colouring/ body-type. Incidentally, the MTO photos of ‘Kim & Kanye f**king’ were obvious fakes too, people are just pressed to admit it. In any case, Kardashian is comically-indignant that we’re looking at imposter a$$ pillows rather than authentic, Vivid-approved a$$ pillows. Her rep told the British newspaper: ‘It’s not her. You can totally tell. It looks nothing like her.’

Eight photos of Kim Kardashian crammed into Houndstooth pattern pants.

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Kris Humphries Just Realised That Kimye Is Fake

Apr 26th, 2012
by Amy Grindhouse.
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Kris Humphries only just realised that his estranged wife is faking a relationship with Whichever Rich Black Guy Is Around At The Time because MONIES. So she doesn’t have to go back to making porn. RadarOnline.com reports that Humphries wants to know whether Kimye is contrived for ratings because it goes toward the credibility of his fraud case: ‘The crux of Kris’ case for annulment is that Kim married him under fraudulent pretenses and did it for her reality show. Team Humphries wants to know if producers of the Kardashian reality shows were in contact with Kanye West prior to the new couple dating or going public with their relationship and what those conversations consisted of. When did Kim develop romantic feelings for Kanye and why after publicly stating she wouldn’t feature any future romantic relationships on her reality shows, did she do a complete 360?’ 10 photos of Kardashian leaving her Manhattan hotel April 25.

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Keeping Up With The Kardashians… Season Nine

Apr 25th, 2012
by Amy Grindhouse.
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A few days ago, Khloe Kardashian she joked: ‘It’s not like we’re driven to slavery. Everyone has the option [to appear on-camera]. Except for us; except for the ones my mom gave birth to.’ Except it wasn’t a joke at all, but some kind of cipher that translates as ‘I’ve been in this dungeon long enough to grow hairy pits, someone bring me Nair!’ While the authorities take care of that with a Walgreens run, you may be interested to know the entire family has been sold into slavery. Not just the Wook. The family just signed a $40 million deal for three more seasons of Keeping Up With The Kardashians. Which means there’ll be at least KUWTK season seven, season eight, and season nine. Sources tell RadarOnline.com that Kanye West and Kim Kardashian’s relationship of convenience will be on the show too: ‘Kim and Kanye are making sure that so many aspects of their new relationship are going to be filmed.’ Despite the 31-year-old’s contrived lie in Cosmo that never again would her relationships become part of the show even if E! dangled a big fat penis check in front of her.

Included are photos of Kim Kardashian wearing a giant labia, because why not?

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Urinal Kardashian’s Fans Offended By Swearing

Apr 24th, 2012
by Amy Grindhouse.
1 comment

Kim Kardashian and the other one, the one with the hairy pits, gave an interview with PAPER Magazine about Internet celebrity. During an interview where the 31-year-old admitted telling friends on Instagram: ‘Be warned, I’ll probably be posting some slutty pictures,’ Kardashian said she swore once on Twitter then deleted it because it upset the same fans who weren’t offended by her porno: ‘Yes! One time I wrote, ‘F**k yeah!’ and all my younger fans were like, ‘What are you turning into?’ So I deleted it.’ I only included Kim Kardashian’s excerpts below because Wookiees aren’t people so I’m ignoring half the PAPER interview.

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Pimp Momager Keeps Her Bottom B**ch Close

Apr 23rd, 2012
by Amy Grindhouse.
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Kim Kardashian and Kanye West took a break from designing their Klu Klux Klan-inspired monograms to go on another pimp momager-approved date this weekend. Kardashian was in Chicago shilling the KKK collection. After which she flew to New York City to be with West. The couple staged an ice cream date. Then they went on a dinner date with her family that evening. Also this weekend, pimp momager reminded us who’s favourite by tweeting: ‘I love that kim kardashian still crawls in bed with me. She’s still my little girl! #favoritething.’

Kanye Wouldn’t Date A Whore With A Fake Ass

Apr 20th, 2012
by Amy Grindhouse.
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In Touch Weekly is reading your tea leaves, Fat Betty. Jessica Simpson’s future delivery is on the cover and conversations with Kanye West from 2008 are inside the issue. The tabloid followed the lead of OK! who announced that Jessica Simpson had given birth. A false alarm. The river of amnio is safely contained, so long as Simpson’s legs are crossed. And now ITW says that Simpson had a ‘dramatic delivery’ or some misleading s**t you’re supposed to glean while b**ching about the cost of gum because you’re not allowed to save four bucks by skim-reading the whole story at the counter. Anyway, inside, the tabloid has a story about Kim Kardashian and West. About which I’m only posting because nothing happened today, and I’m still tickled by this quote since I can totally imagine West pulling a ‘She wrong number sexted me!’ while sending back a d**k photo. ITW confirms the claims of Amber Rose, and Ray J, and Kardashian’s first husband Damon Thomas. A source says Kimye’s cells are the repository for ALL THE NUDES. Which is great. Because it’ll break the Internet when their cells are finally hacked. ‘It was at a Fourth of July party they had at his house,’ the source says. ‘Kanye was on his laptop and [then-fiance] Alexis came up behind him and saw that he was looking at the screen of his phone at a naked picture of Kim.’ But it’s totally okay, he said, because he’d never date a ‘whore with a fake ass.’

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