Amy Grindhouse » Jessica Simpson

Jessica Simpson Doesn’t Often Brush her Teeth

Amy Grindhouse — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 17:02:09 +0000

Jessica Simpson does not brush her adorable sticky-out rabbit teefs. Simpson is the religious type. So, I am guessing that if you do not brush your teefs God punishes the poor dental hygiene with mangled-looking chompers that will fall out before you turn 40-years-old. I digress. Something… blah… blah … Simpson is a dirty bish who admits that she does not regularly brush or floss. She says sometimes she only rinses her mouth with mouthwash. Okay, nothing gross then.

Wonder how Simpson maintains her million-dollar smile? So does she. “I don’t brush my teeth,” she told iheartradio, Thursday. “No, really! I just use Listerine, and sometimes I’ll use my sweater,” she claimed, bursting into laughter. “I do brush every now and again, but my teeth are extremely powerful. Fine, maybe when I’m 60 and I’m all, ‘ow!’” [Us]

So, we have pictures of Simpson wearing dentures to look forward to. No?

Video from iheartradio’s official YouTube, with Jessica Simpson’s interview.

Pictures of Simpson as she left her New York hotel, March 11, 2010. She can be seen hugging Kerry Washington and getting caught in Washington’s dog’s lead.

Image credit to Girlie/Fame Pictures. Story & quote Us Weekly via Cele|Bitchy.

Jessica Simpson Using an Ear Wax Candle… Wut?

Amy Grindhouse — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 11:39:03 +0000

Jessica Simpson given an ear wax candle as a Christmas present by her stylist.

Jessica Simpson posted a Twitter video on her @JessicaSimpson account, about the Christmas present she got from stylist Ken Paves. The tweet asked her followers what kind of present this was supposed to be. The video shows her with a candle burning in her ear and screaming in pain every third second or so.

The most disturbing thing is that I know what the heck this product is. It’s not a brain candle, for use steam cleaning one’s brain when it gets too covered in filth. It’s an ear wax candle. It’s basically a somewhat effective way of getting all the crap out of your ears; a method not to share with the whole world.

The video shows Simpson having one of her shouty tard meltdowns. She is incoherent and scared that her brains are going to catch on fire. It’s one of the many, many reasons celebrities should be forced to mass exodus from that site.

Video credit to Jessica Simpson Twitter @JessicaSimpson via ONTD.

Jessica Simpson Legal Letter to Star Magazine

Amy Grindhouse — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 17:39:34 +0000

As reported last week, Jessica Simpson has taken legal action against Star magazine over their Tiger Woods cover story. The magazine chose to go with the pretty obviously fabricated story, that Simpson and Woods had flirted and swapped phone numbers after meeting at a golfing event. The rag chose a photo for the cover that made it appear as though Woods was getting a little too cosy and possibly even flirting with the curvy singer. What they lazily neglected to mention was that Simpson was at the event with then boyfriend Tony Romo.

To add insult to injury they even cropped Romo out of the pictures to make them look like something they were not. This is one of the most flagrant examples of a magazine going too far to generate some media interest. The story was picked up as fact by several other outlets, without a whole lot of fact-checking.

Gossip Cop has done a great job of getting hold of the specific legal letter that Simpson’s team sent to the lie-tellers at Star magazine. The rag must have opened it, all excited, thinking it was another piece of spicy hate mail and gotten a nasty surprise. The letter can be read here as page 1, page 2, and page 3 (thanks again to Gossip Cop, who were the ones who picked up the exclusive).

Simpson claims in the letter that the story is gossip and a fabrication. She is also asking for a cease and desist, as well as what she calls a prominent retraction.

Jessica Simpson Legal Action Over Star Cover

Amy Grindhouse — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 09:56:25 +0000

Jessica Simpson doesn’t need a pity hookup from the editors at Star. The singer tweeted yesterday that she was shocked to see herself on the cover of the magazine, in a story that painted her as Tiger Woods’ mistress number 15.

After refuting the story on her social network, her publicist started contacting the media. Her spokesho put down their bonbons long enough to do some fancy legal work. Simpson’s publicist told E! that the only true fact in the entire story was that the celebrities met and posed for promotional photographs. They go on to say that her camp sent the magazine a legal complaint yesterday. Star must be getting these legal letters like the rest of us are getting Christmas cards. I’m sure they’ll frame it and put it on display with the others they get this year.

Image credit to Star magazine, Hollywood Rag. Story & info. Hollywood Rag.

Jessica Simpson Was Not Tiger Woods’ Mistress

Amy Grindhouse — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 01:22:29 +0000

This may come as a shock to some of you reading this… but sometimes magazine covers are wrong. In fact, sometimes, they just flat out make stuff up for no reason. For example, on Star magazine’s new cover they are pimping a story claiming that Jessica Simpson and Tiger Woods hooked up. Tiger Woods‘ harem currently stands at either 14 or 16, depending on who is counting. Simpson is not one of his mistresses and she went on her Twitter to let the world know it.

Her shocked-sounding message to the world was suitably caps and exclamation-filled. Because, as you know, people who abuse their caps lock key never lie.

Image credit to CWNY/Fame Pictures. Story & info. @JessicaSimpson, E! Online.

Jessica Simpson’s Dog Daisy Snatched By Coyote

Amy Grindhouse — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 21:13:26 +0000

That has got to be the single weirdest post title I’ve ever been obliged to write.

So, it turns out that Jessica Simpson has used her official Twitter to let fans know her dog is missing and to plead for help. More specifically a pair of Simpson’s crusty old church panties, that she squinted and mistakenly thought was a coyote, sprang to life and snatched her Maltese/ Poodle cross, Daisy.

Those of you who had an undue amount of time on your hands, a few years back, may have also been watching Newlyweds from when Simpson was still married to Nick Lachey. Lachey was the person who bought Simpson the dog and we all got to giggle as the raucous little Malti-Poo ran around and made poopy on their white rugs before being house-trained.

Anyway, Simpson used her official Twitter to share the following message as well as the image above: My heart is broken because a coyote took my precious Daisy right in front of our eyes. HORROR! We are searching. Hoping. Please help!

Simpson enlisted the help of friends, who made some posters for her. The posters have a picture of the dog plotting its escape and an email address set up especially. An address that is probably going to receive nothing but mailers about penis enlargements. Or as I call them, emails.

A neighbor of Jessica’s said, “We heard yelling and screaming coming from the direction of Jessica’s house around 9pm. I can only imagine that it was that moment that it happened because the next day we saw posters up around the neighborhood announcing that Jessica had lost her dog to a coyote. It’s so sad.”

The 29-year-old star is said to be frantic with worry that Daisy has been eaten, and is now struggling to eat or sleep as she waits for news. (via I’m Not Obsessed)

Jessica Simpson @ Ken Paves’ Birthday Party

Amy Grindhouse — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 17:39:23 +0000

Jessica Simpson looked sauced exiting a party for her hairstylist, Ken Paves.

The singer has been getting her life back together as she recently split with her man-friend, Tony Romo. Since the split, the singer has only been seen out a handful of times. She’s been spotted with her sister and also at the gym. None of the places she was spotted sold doughnuts, so we can assume she’s doing well.

Jessica Simpson was looking a little worse for wear as she arrived at Beso in Hollywood, CA on August 5, 2009 to celebrate good friend Ken Paves’ birthday. (via Fame Pictures)

Image credit to Fame Pictures.

Jessica Simpson Defends Indian Giver Comment

Amy Grindhouse — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 03:17:21 +0000

Jessica Simpson was given a lot of flack for her rather un-PC “Indian Giver” comment.

The controversy started when the 29-year-old singer succumbed to her arrested mental development and spoke in public. She was talking to a TMZ photographer about whether she would take back a $100,000 boat she had given to ex-boyfriend Tony Romo as a birthday gift. Rather than say “Sh*t yeah”, run around to his crib and get her stuff back… or say a polite “No”, she instead chose to remark with the questionable, “I’m not an Indian giver.”

Being that TMZ show no mercy, they posted the video of her comment and called her out for the remark – and the possible offense it could cause.

Today there is a jolly new quote out, where some attempt is made to joke and brush off the criticisms. Simpson followed up with her “Indian giver” comment with, “I am Indian, alright?” while outside of Katsuya in Hollywood. Wow.

Image credit to WIC/Fame Pictures.

Natalie Smith is Tony Romo’s Girlfriend (Photo)

Amy Grindhouse — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 17:05:12 +0000

Tony Romo had no mourning period whatsoever after his breakup with Jessica Simpson. Virtually the day after the NFL player split with his singing mate, he was out clubbing, playing golf with his buddies and hitting on other women. Natalie Smith is Tony Romo’s new girlfriend, who has all of that disrespect to look forward to. Lucky girl.

According to some reports, Natalie Smith may have been dating Tony Romo longer than first thought. Media agencies are only just learning about her now. Some say the pair came to know each other and were in contact while Romo and Simpson were still a couple.

Smith is already getting friendly with the media agencies who will no doubt be lining her pockets over the next few months. She tells Us Weekly what is was like meeting Simpson during during her February 6th concert (Romo introduced Simpson to Smith backstage) “We hung out for, like 10 to 15 minutes, backstage. She was cool and nice”.

Reports are mixed on whether they are in the getting to know each other stage or the gettting it on stage. Some sources report that the pair are only headed towards being a couple. Either way, Romo prolly knows better than to come right out and confirm it after the nightmare press he had with his ex.

Jessica Simpson Singing the US National Anthem

Amy Grindhouse — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 18:19:14 +0000

Jessica Simpson sings national anthem at the AT&T National Golf Tournament

Jessica Simpson appeared at the AT&T National Golf Tournament and delivered a constipated rendition of the US national anthem. Actually, maybe she just forgot to take her tummy medication today, as this performance is no more bloated and farty than any other she has ever done.

The chesty blonde screamed and simultaneously held in gas, during her rendition of the Star Spangled Banner. She also made those “sexy times” faces that she often pulls while singing. And she topped the performance off by using her erect nips to distract from her wearing of horizontal stripes. Cannot fault her.

Stills from the video of Jessica Simpson singing Star Spangled Banner are below.

Amy Grindhouse » Jessica Simpson

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