That has got to be the single weirdest post title I’ve ever been obliged to write.

So, it turns out that Jessica Simpson has used her official Twitter to let fans know her dog is missing and to plead for help. More specifically a pair of Simpson’s crusty old church panties, that she squinted and mistakenly thought was a coyote, sprang to life and snatched her Maltese/ Poodle cross, Daisy.

Those of you who had an undue amount of time on your hands, a few years back, may have also been watching Newlyweds from when Simpson was still married to Nick Lachey. Lachey was the person who bought Simpson the dog and we all got to giggle as the raucous little Malti-Poo ran around and made poopy on their white rugs before being house-trained.

• Anyway, Simpson used her official Twitter to share the following message as well as the image above: My heart is broken because a coyote took my precious Daisy right in front of our eyes. HORROR! We are searching. Hoping. Please help!

Simpson enlisted the help of friends, who made some posters for her. The posters have a picture of the dog plotting its escape and an email address set up especially. An address that is probably going to receive nothing but mailers about penis enlargements. Or as I call them, emails.

A neighbor of Jessica’s said, “We heard yelling and screaming coming from the direction of Jessica’s house around 9pm. I can only imagine that it was that moment that it happened because the next day we saw posters up around the neighborhood announcing that Jessica had lost her dog to a coyote. It’s so sad.”

The 29-year-old star is said to be frantic with worry that Daisy has been eaten, and is now struggling to eat or sleep as she waits for news. (via I’m Not Obsessed)

Jessica Simpson looked sauced exiting a party for her hairstylist, Ken Paves.

The singer has been getting her life back together as she recently split with her man-friend, Tony Romo. Since the split, the singer has only been seen out a handful of times. She’s been spotted with her sister and also at the gym. None of the places she was spotted sold doughnuts, so we can assume she’s doing well.

Jessica Simpson was looking a little worse for wear as she arrived at Beso in Hollywood, CA on August 5, 2009 to celebrate good friend Ken Paves’ birthday. (via Fame Pictures)

Image credit to Fame Pictures.

Jessica Simpson was given a lot of flack for her rather un-PC “Indian Giver” comment.

The controversy started when the 29-year-old singer succumbed to her arrested mental development and spoke in public. She was talking to a TMZ photographer about whether she would take back a $100,000 boat she had given to ex-boyfriend Tony Romo as a birthday gift. Rather than say “Sh*t yeah”, run around to his crib and get her stuff back… or say a polite “No”, she instead chose to remark with the questionable, “I’m not an Indian giver.”

Being that TMZ show no mercy, they posted the video of her comment and called her out for the remark – and the possible offense it could cause.

Today there is a jolly new quote out, where some attempt is made to joke and brush off the criticisms. Simpson followed up with her “Indian giver” comment with, “I am Indian, alright?” while outside of Katsuya in Hollywood. Wow.

Image credit to WIC/Fame Pictures.

Tony Romo had no mourning period whatsoever after his breakup with Jessica Simpson. Virtually the day after the NFL player split with his singing mate, he was out clubbing, playing golf with his buddies and hitting on other women. Natalie Smith is Tony Romo’s new girlfriend, who has all of that disrespect to look forward to. Lucky girl.

According to some reports, Natalie Smith may have been dating Tony Romo longer than first thought. Media agencies are only just learning about her now. Some say the pair came to know each other and were in contact while Romo and Simpson were still a couple.

Smith is already getting friendly with the media agencies who will no doubt be lining her pockets over the next few months. She tells Us Weekly what is was like meeting Simpson during during her February 6th concert (Romo introduced Simpson to Smith backstage) “We hung out for, like 10 to 15 minutes, backstage. She was cool and nice”.

Reports are mixed on whether they are in the getting to know each other stage or the gettting it on stage. Some sources report that the pair are only headed towards being a couple. Either way, Romo prolly knows better than to come right out and confirm it after the nightmare press he had with his ex.

Jessica Simpson appeared at the AT&T National Golf Tournament and delivered a constipated rendition of the US national anthem. Actually, maybe she just forgot to take her tummy medication today, as this performance is no more bloated and farty than any other she has ever done.

The chesty blonde screamed and simultaneously held in gas, during her rendition of the Star Spangled Banner. She also made those “sexy times” faces that she often pulls while singing. And she topped the performance off by using her erect nips to distract from her wearing of horizontal stripes. Cannot fault her.

Stills from the video of Jessica Simpson singing Star Spangled Banner are below.

Jessica Simpson Vanity Fair Cover June 2009 Cover – more pictures below.

Jessica Simpson can be seen above on the cover of the June 2009 Vanity Fair (the interview can be found here). I saw this cover yesterday and needed some time to compose myself, and to be honest, I am still at a loss.

Not the best quality for a writer, but you tell me what is going on with this cover. Rather than release the hounds on the Vanity Fair biotches who let this cover into the wild, I’ll let out MooMoo’s dungeon troupe. They are half-starved by now and hungry for blood. They’ll butcher a mother effer for this sloppy azz work.

Simpson’s chins have been airbrushed and so she looks all purdy around the chops, also her hair is Beyonda Farce grade fierce. The lack of the seven spare tyres that I placed around her waist for safe keeping is something of a concern (whoever took them, I would like them back please).

Ignoring the fact that at this point she has no product to speak of that is worth gracing the pages of such a prestigious magazine, can we address precisely how she got on the cover in the first place. I suspect that like the drunken prom date she is, she wandered down the halls of Cosmo Girl and somehow ended up in the offices of Vanity Fail, mistaking them for a potty. I too wonder how many d*cks it took to get this cover. I bet Daddy Simpson’s jaw is locked like a mother right now. Hope this cover was worth taking a hard one to the face Pops.

Jessica Simpson has reportedly turned down a free lifetime membership to a weight-loss spa because she is happy with her curvy figure [Website – Amy Grindhouse].

As you may remember, a few weeks ago, there was a shit storm in a teacup over Simpson wearing FUGilicious mum jeans and a belt that made her waist kind of look like a tree trunk. As the over-opinionated Kimmy K pointed out when she chimed in unnecessarily on the matter, the outfit could have been soooo fierce, if worn the right way.

Those now infamous pictures have sparked debate here and there about whether Jessie is a fatty or if she just needs to bitch slap her stylist. (I’m going for the latter).

All this has caused an opportunistic bunch to jump on the bandwagon and extend Simpson a slimming olive-branch. FBE Holistic Health & Fitness Center in Los Angeles has offered the singer a lifetime free membership (valued at a credit crunch busting $21,600 a year)!

According to Pop Tarts, Simpson declined the offer as she feels her body change is just an sign that she’s content and in love. “Jessica has been spending a lot of time in Texas so her eating habits have changed,” said a source. “And with Tony on hiatus, they’ve been eating out more and just enjoying life together.”

“When she has a guy, Jessica just seems to accept herself and stops obsessing over her body,” added the insider.

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE FREE FITNESS OFFER?

Celebrity news and gossip written by AmyGrindhouse.com. Image credit to Splash News. Story courtesy of Pop Tarts.

Jessica Simpson has been the subject of ridicule and media scrutiny recently – so it’s good to know the singer still has her sense of humour [Website – Amy Grindhouse].

Simpson joked about her clothing splitting in a self-aware nod to the nasty things people have been saying about her over the past fortnight. While she was opening up for Rascal Flatts at Madison Square Garden in New York City last night, Simpson made a funny.

According to UsWeekly, the wannabe country star told the audience (with reference to the outfit shown in the image above), “I’ve had times when my pants split right down the middle when I bent down to reach a note. That’s why I’m wearing a skort – not a skirt, not a short – just so they wouldn’t split.”

Celebrity news and gossip written by AmyGrindhouse.com. Image credit toRS /London Ent /Splash News. Story courtesy of US weekly.

Jessica Simpson has (hopefully) decided to fire her stylist and pick her own GD clothes from now on – check out these pics of Simpson reading the nominees for the 44th Annual Academy of Country Music Awards in the Ford Theater at the Country Music Hall of Fame during CBS The Early Show in Nashville, Tn. [Website – Amy Grindhouse].

Simpson showed the fatty haters what’s up by looking remarkably svelte and dare I say, fabulous. She also had the good sense to wear a dark colour and a layered look that was more flattering to her figure than the hideous high-waisted ensemble that splashed across the interwebs and caused a storm.

All kidding aside for a second, I actually don’t think Simpson is a fatty. She and I are actually around the same shape and size. I’m taller though, so any Big Mac induced fluctuations in my weight don’t make me look like ass.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS LOOK ON JESSICA?

Celebrity news and gossip written by AmyGrindhouse.com. Image credit to onn Jones/London Ent./Splash. 

Click the video above to watch footage of a young Britney Spears and Jessica Simpson, as they auditioned for the Mickey Mouse Club back in the early 90’s [Website – Amy Grindhouse].

It’s a sad sight to see a pre-Cheeto Brit Brit and a pre-weave, Chestyca.

Watching this footage, it would be easy to think that both young starlets had a future flipping burgers, rather than a future making ‘comeback’ after tedious ‘comeback’. Someone please travel back in time and warn Brit Brit that she has a not so bright future ahead and that she can forget about growing up in a hurry and doing all the ‘cool’ things adults, do as she has the same amount of freedom at 9-years-old as she would at 27!

[VIDEO CREDIT: Access Hollywood]

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