Heidi Montag is rumoured to have missed sister Holly Montag’s 26th birthday, after not being given an attendance fee.

According to reports, Heidi Montag refused to attend her sister’s birthday party at Empire nightclub in Hollywood, CA, on Saturday Oct. 17, because she was not given a fee for attending. For the most part the reality star of MTV’s The Hills does not go to clubs unless she is being paid a substantial appearance fee. This time, assuming this is true, you would think she would have made an exception.

This is the night which sister-in-law Stephanie Pratt was arrested for a  DUI.

Image credit to Juan Rico/Fame Pictures. Story & info. via Gawker.

Anderson Cooper has finally opened up and said what we were all thinking about that horrid performance of Body Language that Heidi Montag did at Miss Universe. At the pageant, Montag lip-synced, badly, through the song. A handful of her fans came out to say they liked it and to defend her. The rest of us just pointed and laughed, as that is the proper etiquette when someone is that hell-bent on making a fool out of themselves.

From about ten seconds into the clip, Cooper can be heard saying that Montag has found a new way to embarrass herself. He goes on to say that her miming was off and that he wants to know why she is wasting people’s time pretending to be a singer. He rounds off by saying he barely knows who she is and why anyone should even be listening to her. Word to your mother, yo.

Heidi Montag at Miss Universe 2009 performing Body Language can be seen here.

The annoying and oftentimes talentless reality star took to the stage in a 2000-and-late Britney Spears VMA cast-off flesh coloured top and pants, covered with crystals. The wife of Spencer Pratt appeared in order to perform her new single on NBC’s live broadcast of the 2009 Miss Universe Pageant at Atlantis on Paradise Island in the Bahamas on Sunday night.

The horror. Oh, the horror. Singing and dancing should be about rejoicing and enjoying the numbing effects of a good ditty. It should not be about swinging cats about in a bag and playing it on a loop under the guise of music. Real music should make you sway and clap your hands. It should not make you invoke the name of Our Lord in fear. Montag, when will you learn?

Video of the performance is here as is a gallery of Montag @ Miss Universe 2009.

Heidi Montag Miss Universe 2009 performance Video (Body Language)

Britney Spears wearing a better version of the above outfit @ VMAs 2000

Heidi Montag did not appear nude for the cover of Playboy - but, she did appear in the magazine whilst very scantily clad. The newlywed was on the cover of the magazine in only a white bikini. Inside the spread, she wears… um… different colour bikinis and her underwear. No sign of her Spencer-infested cooch just yet. I’m on the lookout and if it raises its ugly head, a mocking follow-up post and appropriate links will ensue.

Montag, who also goes by Heidi Pratt, spoke to Us about her appearence in September’s Playboy, saying she DID go nude inside the publication. However, the pictures that made it into the feature were PG-13. Fans will have to wait until she has more surgery until they see it all.

“I did pose nude,” the reality-TV vixen, 22, tells the new issue of Us Weekly, on stands today. Although the racy photos that made it into the mag are PG-13 (she’s wearing skimpy lingerie or a tiny bikini), she says she’ll strip down completely after getting more plastic surgery.

“The body is a beautiful creation. If anything, the reason I didn’t show everything is because I plan to get a few more upgrades,” Heidi tells Spencer, who interviewed her for Playboy. “I’m definitely not done with my surgical quest,” she goes on, adding that she’d like “to go bigger on my boobs” for her husband, 26.

Spencer says he hung up poster-sized photos of the nude outtakes on his bathroom wall. “Now when I’m peeing, I get to see a 10-foot naked photo of of my wife,” he says. Heidi also admits she hasn’t told her dad about her pictorial because she comes from such a strict Christian family. “They’re a little behind the times where he lives in Colorado, but he’ll find out eventually,” she says. (via Us Weekly)

Heidi Montag was spotted out on her way to a yogurt shop in Malibu, California on August 11, 2009, with her husband Spencer Pratt who chatted away on his cell phone. Montag sported no make-up, rather than her usual look. I prefer most celebrities with a fresh face, but I think this girl may look far better with make-up on.

Image credit to Mike/Fame Pictures.

Heidi Montag’s Playboy cover can be seen above in a larger HQ picture than was available to me yesterday. The cover shows the 22-year-old reality star in a swimsuit, posing seductively in what looks like a shower room.

For those who are wondering, yes, it is odd that everything but her hair, face and WHITE bikini are dirtied… and yes, I too suspect that is poop she is covered in.

Image credit to ER/ Flynet Online.

Heidi Montag (Pratt) has revealed her Playboy magazine cover picture.

The 22-year-old is clad in only a bikini and she seems to be smeared in some kind of oil or grease. That may have just been a consequence of standing too close to her husband’s hair during the shoot. Can’t tell from these images.

The Heidi Montag Playboy pictures initially caused a stir because the reality star started rumours that she would be partially nude, specifically topless. It seems that at least on the cover, Montag is not topless. It barely seems worth of being a Playboy cover at all.

Montag and her slimy hubby for some reason chose to bring their porn stash with them to the premiere of G.I. Joe. These images are taken of them reading through the adult magazine while on the Hollywood red carpet of the movie.

Pictures of Heidi Montag’s Playboy cover and the couple on the red carpet.

Image credit to Juan Rico/Fame Pictures.

Heidi Montag (Pratt) posed nude for her Playboy magazine photoshoot.

A source says the nude pictures are “tasteful” and the reality star “had a lot of fun” showing people how on earth she managed to smuggle melons with such a skinny frame. When the Montag nude pictures leak on the net, which they undoubtedly will, I’ll post them for one reason only. I wanna see if the stuck on melons are self-adhesive or if she needs to hold them in place when not aided by a bra.

Image credit to Juan Rico/Fame Pictures.

Heidi Pratt left the I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here jungle because of a stomach ulcer that caused her to vomit uncontrollably.

The stories flying around about this woman today are enough to make you vomit too, so rather than bore you with tales about the melon smuggler’s dry-heaving/ nights she claimed to be trapped in a Guantanamo style hole with her hubby when they were actually asleep the bulk of the time, I shall just inform you the pair are, um, alive. Also, sadly, this show has proved they are impervious to poisonous beasties, scorching heat and sh*tty food.

ITV Studios, who produce the show, released this statement today: “ITV Studios, producers of the series, state that press reports at this time are untrue. ITV has been producing this format around the world for many years and the health of the celeb participants are of the utmost importance. A medic and a doctor are present at the location at all times for all participants. All allegations of the celebrities being deprived of food and water are completely untrue.”

Heidi Montag has been confirmed to be appearing in an upcoming issue of Playboy magazine.

To add insult to injury, the enjoyment of your favourite dirty magazine is to be ruined further still, by the less-offensive half of Speidi posing topless in her spread.

As Hollyscoop previously reported, the self-proclaimed Christian girl is currently in talks to bank $500,000 to strip for the popular men’s magazine. While Heidi is staying mum on the subject, Hugh Hefner spoke to Hollyscoop about the big news at Playboys 50th Annual Playmate Announcement ceremony in Las Vegas this past weekend. 

When asked about the rumored shoot, Hef smiled and told Hollyscoop, “I think she is going to be.”‘ (via Hollyscoop)

Ugh, is nothing sacred… it’s bad enough that skank delight Sasha Grey is trying to cross over into the mainstream market and now this watermelon smuggling skeleton is trying to do the reverse. Is there some kind of awesome Wh*re Exchange scheme going on, where all you need is a cooter you could drive a truck through to qualify??? Sheeeet. If that’s all it takes, sign me up!!!

Image credit to London Entertainment/ Splash News.