Amy Grindhouse » Heidi Montag

Heidi Montag Missed a Spot: Cellulite Picture

Amy Grindhouse — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 02:36:35 +0000

Heidi Montag got ten procedures in one day and had bits of herself inflated, filed down, and sucked out. From this photo, from a larger set showing her filming her cameo in Jennifer Aniston’s new movie, Just Go With It, it seems her doctor missed a spot. The reality star was seen wearing cut-offs, kind of in the style of Daisy Dukes. Whatever those shorts were, they were hideous and her booty was hanging out. After all the work she had done, remembering that her list of procedures included lipo, she should be carved out of marble. However, she looks like she’s made out of pudding from the waist down. Mmm.. pudding.

Heidi Montag Looks Melty Even from Far Away

Amy Grindhouse — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 12:54:46 +0000

Heidi Montag and beardy husband Spencer Pratt can be seen in these photos, as Montag gets ready to shoot her movie cameo for the film Just Go With It, at El Matador Beach in Malibu, Calif.. The couple were surrounded by the cameras and the usual smoke and mirrors. Weird thing is, Montag’s newly sculpted face looks all melty-melty even when shot from this far away. The photos were taken from what looks like a couple of hundred yards away, zoomed in. And yet I can still tell that at least one side of Montag’s face is dripping and the other side is puffy.

12 pics of Heidi Montag as she filmed a cameo, at El Matador Beach in Malibu, CA. The movie, Just Go With It, also stars Nicole Kidman and Jennifer Aniston.

Image credit to Oliver/ Flynet Pictures.

Heidi Montag V3.0 Walking the Red Carpet

Amy Grindhouse — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 04:39:10 +0000

Heidi Montag has already thrilled us all, with the revelation that she is not done jacking up her face. She walked the red carpet at Las Vegas’ Pure Nightclub, this weekend, at a party she hosted with husband Spencer Pratt. She is able to walk the red carpet as she is yet to really mutilate her legs in the same way as she has done her face. Perhaps if she ever does something dumb like getting knee surgery or toe re-shaping surgery (a real thing), then she’ll be less able to strutt her stuff. Seriously though, she looks like a freakin’ monster. Such a shame.

Her face kind of looks like it’s in the process of melting from all the hot camera lights. That’s not to mention that her boobs are soon-to-be big as her head, if she continues with surgery. I was so distracted by her humongous breasticles that I almost didn’t notice a unicorn vomited glitter all over her legs like she was a 12-year-old MySpace fangirl. The mangled face, cheap jewellery, and budget hooch dress I can almost cope with. But glitter abuse is not to be taken lightly.

More, scary XXL photos of Heidi Montag’s plastic surgeries on the red carpet.

Heidi Montag Is Not Done Mutilating Herself…

Amy Grindhouse — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 02:07:42 +0000

First things first. When I skim-read my own title, I thought I’d Freudian-slipped something in there about masturbation. Upon a second, slower reading of my very short post title… it seems that’s not the case. Phew. Where was I? Oh yeah.

Heidi Montag wants to jack up her face sommore, because her second round of surgeries didn’t quite screw up her formerly-pretty face enough. Montag tells Access Hollywood, as she tells anyone with a camera who will listen, that she has parts of her body that require further improvements and maintenance, in her words. At this point she can’t have that much surface-area left that has not seen a surgeon’s scalpel, after having ten surgeries on November 20, 2009.

[Heidi Montag has more plastic surgery ahead of her, according to People] “I love my boobs but I still want to improve. I didn’t get them as big as I originally wanted.” Heidi said she didn’t have anything scheduled at the moment, with more work to come “eventually… for maintenance”. The star added that she’s pleased with her recent work, which made headlines when she debuted her new look on a People cover. [Access Hollywood]

Heidi Montag Surgeries Meant Lots of Hate Mail

Amy Grindhouse — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 06:24:35 +0000

Heidi Montag’s frozen face and balloon chesticles cover the new issue of Life & Style. If you buy the magazine you may wanna stop at the horrors the cover has to offer, as she just plain vomits all over the inside. If you open the new issue all that’s there is a bunch of verbal diarrhea. Trust me, spare yourself the grief.

Montag told Life & Style admitting she is a vapid whore inspired her fans to learn to sharpen their crayons, write, and then send her hate mail. She angered a lot of people who agree that much surgery by the age of 23 is pointless, especially when it makes you look both worse and well over-a-decade older.

[Feel free to ignore comments about Heidi's pretend belief in God] Heidi and hubby Spencer sat holed up in their Pacific Palisades home, in shock over the hate mail the 23-year-old had been getting about her extreme makeover. “Spencer ordered about seven bunches of flowers to cheer up Heidi because she’d received a letter or an e-mail saying that her plastic surgery was against God’s will,” a neighbor of the couple tells Life & Style. “Heidi’s apparently very spiritual, so this kind of criticism really stings.”

Image credit to Life & Style mag. Story Life & Style mag., Anything Hollywood.

Demerol Overdose Almost Killed Heidi Montag

Amy Grindhouse — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 07:31:34 +0000

Heidi Montag Access Hollywood interview, revealing post-op health problems.

Heidi Montag reveals in an interview with Access Hollywood that she nearly died, following her plastic surgery. The vapid, deformed, fame-whore told the outlet that she nearly stopped breathing, shortly after getting her work done.

“I almost died after my procedure,” Heidi told Access Hollywood correspondent Billy Bush on Monday. “I had too much Demerol like Michael Jackson did and my breathing was five breaths per minute which is like almost dead. [I was] in an aftercare center, there were nurses that were supposed to be tending to me at all times.”

“So thank God, Charles, one of my security guys used to be an EMT, and he was timing my breath on his watch and he called the nurses and they had to put oxygen on my face and called my plastic surgeon to come in for an emergency. So, it was a very traumatic experience for me.”

This carries on being sad. She really risked her own life so her clueless, equally delusional, and vapid doctor, could make her look like a Real Housewife.

Heidi Montag GMA Interview Looking SO Freaky

Amy Grindhouse — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 17:15:50 +0000

You will remember the photos from last week, where the new face and body of Heidi Montag were revealed in the pages of People magazine. The magazine did the whole exclusive bit and kept Montag captive the entire time. For keeping her away from the spotlight, I sent them a muffin basket and I advise you all to do the same. Seriously, I mean it, drop what you’re doing and mail them.

Montag did an interview with Good Morning America today, it won’t embed, you can watch the video at the source. You all, rightly, mocked her when her People cover came out. You pointed, laughed, and said she looked like she’d aged 15 years. As usual, readers, you’re not wrong. If you thought she looked bad in an airbrushed still, you’re going to crap your pants when you see this. Montag was on the morning ABC show, basically regurgitating a bunch of stuff she already told People. What we do learn is that, despite her denials, she is clearly a surgery addict. Her breasticles are nearly as big as her head and she claims that they are not big enough. Whatever she did to her cheeks is bizarre and she looks like her own, deformed, much-older sibling. It’s grotesque. I mean, I’m about one minute into the video linked and I feel like I’m going to pass out unless I come up for air. Any raucous laughter from the idiot interviewer calling Montag smart will soon be stifled when you see this woman try to talk using her new face.

Image & story ABC/ Good Morning America, People thanks to Cele|Bitchy.

Heidi Montag’s Face Before and After Surgery

Amy Grindhouse — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 22:16:41 +0000

Following on from the earlier post, about Heidi Montag selling her soul and using the proceeds to buy DDD chesticles, here is an even more shocking close-up of her face. The 23-year-old can be seen on the left before the surgeries on her face began, and on the right after she transformed herself into someone who could pass for her own mother. With fat injections in her cheeks, nasolabial fold, and lips, a mini eyebrow lift, her ears pinned back, neck lipo, and a chin reduction she is a shadow of her former self. The face that made her famous has been stripped away and blow up doll Montag has been left in her place. She looked much better before, I mean way before she had any surgery. Much. Better.

Heidi Montag Sells Her Soul and Buys DDD Boobs

Amy Grindhouse — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 04:24:46 +0000

Heidi Montag practically sold the stool samples from the day she had surgery. She literally sold every piece of information, pictures, and video you can think of. I hope this crap is worth having been in hiding, since mid-November of last year.

The 23-year-old now looks like a somewhat well-preserved 45-year-old. She looks like she’s on the road to becoming another cripplingly self-obsessed and insecure Jocelyn Wildenstein. She had ten pointless surgeries in one day. All she has to show for it is that she stripped away the face that made her famous, and now she has DDDs. Oh, goody. You’ll need to click on the picture, and once again, for the full size image, as taken from inside the new issue of People magazine. It gives a better idea of her before and after, and lists all her worthless surgeries.

Heidi Montag Spent $2 Million Recording Album

Amy Grindhouse — Thu, 14 Jan 2010 08:37:00 +0000

Heidi Montag has lost her damn mind. The wannabe singer has been in hiding since mid-November last year. The reality TV star went into a Los Angeles clinic for assorted vanity surgeries. She even had 10 surgeries in one day.

Other than making her chesticles bigger and getting botox at age 23, the only thing I care about is that she finally got her man-chin filed down. I suspect her chin shavings are being kept in a jar on some shelf in her house now. We need to swipe all 20 pounds of discarded chin shards and sell that shish on eBay. Anyone here still have an eBay account they can remember the password for? No? Okay.

Montag is crazier than anyone who refuses to bow before the church of $hiantology. She is currently doing promo tours for her craptastical new album. An album for which she didn’t even try to hide what a self-aware ‘tard she is, and actually called the damn thing Superficial. She may as well have called it Over-Botoxed Attention Whore Who Snorts her Chin Filings. Just as astute a title. Ugh, what an efftard. Back to the point, the slightly less horsey-looking star is whoring herself silly to every blog that will have her. Turns out that there may be a reason other than her unwavering need to annoy the snot out of everyone.

She tells Entertainment Weekly she spent three years and over $2 million recording her album. Over. $2. Million. She goes on, in the interview snippets below, that she totally thinks she can earn her 2 million sugar cubes back. Thus showing she has no clue how the music industry works. She paid a lot out of her own pocket and it’s pretty certain she’ll never see the money again. Fitting, as she adds that she is going broke after spending every dime on her record.

Do you think Superficial holds up against something like Thriller? I definitely do. I think people might not see it now, because it’s my first album coming out. But I’ve spent as much time-maybe more, even-than Thriller. Every detail was very important to me, because I take this very seriously. Most artists, it’s not their own money, but I’ve actually gone broke putting every dollar I’ve ever made and my heart and soul into this music. For me, I have a different appreciation, a different understanding, and a different love of my music and for my album than any other artist possibly could. Because this is my money. This is my gamble.
You’re broke? Yes. I definitely am. I am. I put every dollar I have into this.
Do you know how much money you’ve spent? I’ve spent over a million, almost $2 million on this album. It’s cost as much or more than a Britney Spears album, because I wanted it to be that quality and to be able to get those people. My album would have cost a record label over $4 million.
What if you don’t earn your money back? That’s not even a possibility. I think within the first week we will definitely make our money back. The songs will make an impact in pop history. They are absolutely incredible and everybody involved is the best of the best. People just haven’t seen me as a pop star. I’m very excited for the world to see a whole new Heidi.

Image credit People magazine, The Superficial. Story EW, Hollywood Grind.

Amy Grindhouse » Heidi Montag

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