The last we heard from Heidi Montag she was admitting to frivolously spending more than $1 million in MTV’s dirty money on implants and living beyond her means that included financing a pop album that was doomed to flop. Since which time she’s been living with her in-laws because the couple is basically broke and out of other options. Except for television in other countries that will still have them. Which is why they’re in London right now right for Big Brother UK (Lindsay Lohan denies arriving the day prior to film the same show, insisting she’s innocently stalking Max George from The Wanted). The couple will be ‘one housemate,’ with one set of votes and if/ when they leave they’ll leave together.
Posts Tagged ‘Heidi Montag’
Here’s Heidi Montag promoting a strip club by posing outside of it because there are usually foreshadowing baby steps before one’s backed into a corner with nowhere to go but porn (not including Playboy for which she wore underwear nor the nonexistent sex tape ploy contrived for attention). Portending her career in the adult entertainment industry, these appearances are probably the only way in which Montag can contribute grocery money to her in-laws with whom she and Spencer Pratt are living after years of spending beyond their means. She recently admitted to Access Hollywood: ‘[We miss] the money. If we would have saved our money, it would have been better. I’ve never really counted, so I’m not sure [how much we lost], a lot… over a million or so.’ And although her face didn’t look that crazy while caked in makeup for Famous Food in 2011, the television show on which reality show has-beens and a hooker competed to wash dishes at a restaurant, or whatever, Montag’s surgeries have bloated with her weight which one can only assume was in the small print somewhere on her receipt.
Heidi Montag got 10 procedures in one day back in 2010 after already having a starter nose job and breast implants. And that, too, was after running out of ways to get attention in the wake of a fake sex tape scandal (lying to TMZ and Vivid Entertainment, who fell for it, about the existence of a tape because apparently saying you made a sex tape is the same as actually making one) and lying about separating from her husband whenever The Hills needed ratings. Asked whether she’s still enough of a thirsty attention whore to mutilate herself beyond recognition for a People Magazine profile that’s already been mulched and returned to the earth, she was all like ‘Nah.’ She elaborated: ‘I wouldn’t do it again, that’s for sure. It was a lot more than I could have expected. I really hate talking about it now because it was so long ago. I was a much different person back then to who I am now. I didn’t realize how much of The Hills, and going through that, would define who I am. I’m really looking forward to the next phase in my life. I know I’ll never be able to get away from a lot of it, but I won’t give up trying to prove I’m more than just that.’ Asked whether she’s pleased with the results, she said: ‘I feel really thankful that it all came out so well; it could have been really disastrous,’ said Montag, 25, ‘I lived and I learned. I wouldn’t really recommend it for other people. It was a lot harder than I thought it would be going through it: physically, mentally, emotionally, recovering. But, I’m just glad it’s done and that everything healed so well. My [now deceased] doctor originally told me it would take two years, so it’s finally settling in now. It feels really good to be healthy and strong. There are basic problems. I use a lot of creams and stuff on any residue scars. But, they’re almost gone now.’
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I’m not entirely sure this is possible, but Heidi Montag tells In Touch Weekly the liposuction done as part of her reconstructive surgery (she was in some fattening car accident I’m forgetting about, no?) gave her cellulite. Of the 10 surgeries in one day that somehow didn’t kill her, the 25-year-old tells the tabloid she regrets all her procedures and: ‘Getting lipo is my biggest regret. I can’t believe I did this to myself. I’m so insecure about my legs, I rarely wear shorts. Try to lose weight and eat healthily. It’s less painful, cheaper and more beneficial.’
This cover, to be clear, is horses**t. But it made me giggle. This is some magazine of which I’ve never heard. Judging from the bylines of ‘Kim Tells: I’m Having A Facelift (And A Boob Job)’ and the picture of Paris Hilton in the bottom right that was stretched horizontally in MS Paint to make her look heavier than she is, NW is sub-Lies&Style. Which takes some doing. On a cover that takes an unflattering picture and does its MS Paint-y best to make Heidi Montag look wider too, she’s compared to what I can only assume is a Photoshopped image, from around 2007, of her ribs sticking out and the caption ‘Heidi’s Shock New Curves.’ Unless she’s eaten her implants, or the material injected into her face was 100% carbs, I doubt she’s this big. However, I couldn’t help but think how nuts this cover would make her after spending so long trying to become perfect by the art of ritual mutilation. She’ll lipo herself out of existence now, right?
Pictures below, for comparison, show Montag hosting a Halloween Party at PURE Nightclub at the Caesars Palace Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas in October 2010.
These images are from mid-December’s Lies&Style issue. I’ve already posted the cover, and some of the early scans from the issue showing Heidi Montag’s surgery scars. Scars she complained about, despite this not being her first round of elective cosmetic surgery. I guess people really want to see just how much Montag jacked up every square inch of her body… and we pretty much see taint scars, so she didn’t miss anywhere. Lies&Style have pictures of almost all of Montag’s bikini-clad body. Except for her breasts, which, as I mentioned before, she’s pretending she’s too shy to show. The headline for the comically-long interview is ‘Surgery Made Me Look Worse’. Below are additional images of her butt scars, scars behind her ears, before (any surgery) and after bikini pictures.