Jesse James does not understand moderation, nor subtlety. That would explain how someone could stick their penis in so many Nazis/ why he would ever choose this for a book jacket. In some stylised mug shot with Photoshop’s best sepia tint, and a too-literal interpretation of that other Jesse James on the back, this is [...]
Posts Tagged ‘Fail’
New Lipstick Responsible For Fergie’s Facelift
In the dumbest cover-up since Sofia Vergara claimed her slimmed figure in the Pepsi Skinny Can adverts was because of the choice of hats, the husband of Fergie has claimed her ‘new face’ is because of lipstick. There were whispers recently of Fergie having something new done to further cover up her meth face. There [...]
Kate Winslet Has A Face Of The Softest Velvet
Kate Winslet’s terrifying plastered face of peach fuzz attended the New York City Premiere of HBO mini-series Mildred Pierce. I wouldn’t have noticed these, as I don’t really stare at pictures of people who’ve tripped and fallen into buckets of white paint, in order to ascertain whether they’ve succumbed to some kind of Goldfinger-like poisoning [...]
Justin Bieber Got to Third Base With Himself
Justin Bieber has a Madame Tussauds wax figure in London (and the museums in New York and Amsterdam). I remember reading about this a few weeks ago, and doing the best I could to put it out of my mind like some kind of childhood trauma or bad haircut it’s just better to never talk [...]
Justin Bieber Wants Invite To Playboy Mansion
Justin Bieber wants to scope for elderly t&a at the Playboy mansion (elderly being the 18-25 range, as he’s yet to turn 17-years-old). Bieber recently shaved off most of The Bieber, which, oddly, wasn’t a euphemism for his pubes, or rhyming slang for ‘Beaver’, and will be using it to raise money for charity. Good [...]
Gwyneth Paltrow’s Children Wear $82 Pyjamas
Gwyneth Paltrow is better than you. Her children with Chris Martin are better than your pauper children (who I totally typoed at first as ‘pooper’ children). And her GOOPY lifestyle is better than your life on the breadline, peasant. Paltrow has, apparently, not that I’ve subscribed, released the lastest issue of her newsletter, GOOP; something [...]
