The father of Mike ‘The Situation’ Sorrentino is being kind of a sell-out jerk and embarrassing his son on the Internet. Because that’s the go-to of old people when they’ve been slighted by the young; that ‘Webs’ place they’re always talking about. Late yesterday, Frank Sorrentino released a video saying his son abandoned their family since becoming famous and earning $5,000,000 from fees and endorsements a year. I sense butthurt at not seeing enough of that money, but that’s not based on anything. What we do know is Frank Sorrentino likes to make videos, really degrading videos. He released a second video later Tuesday evening, claiming The Situation got fired from a job because he was caught getting head from a 40-year-old co-worker. There’s no proof of his allegations.
Posts Tagged ‘Fail’
Last week, the Internet screamed a collective ‘…The f**k is this?’ at their screens in response to Uma Thurman’s Schweppes commercial. The French promo showed Thurman as though drunk and sex-starved. It’s below as a reminder for anyone who missed it and yet won’t miss those 66 seconds of their life. Now there are two print adverts too. For the above print advert, I kind of feel like the Busta Rhymes/ Janet Jackson What’s It Gonna Be video threw up props bought with coke money. There’s a second advert below which looks like it was taken in a grocery store, except she’s standing on a bed. Which doesn’t make any sense either. I don’t like them. Even though both were shot by David LaChapelle and I usually like his work. On the upside, drinking Schweppes seems to have the same effect as drinking a bottle of Sudafed. And I’m pretty sure Schweppes is cheaper.
Bristol Palin has been spending her Dancing With The Stars money. Instead of using the entire paycheck for her kid’s college fund or something, she Teen Mom/ 16 & Pregnant‘d away the money. And by that I mean she used the money on frivolous, drastic cosmetic surgery even though she’s only 20. Last Fall, Levi Johnston’s sister accused Palin of having liposuction and a breast-reduction. Palin also seems to have had work done on her face. Commenters at Gawker.com offer up a few convincing theories that Palin had ‘Lipo and a chin implant,’ a ‘nose job,’ ‘[she lost weight and got] lipo around the neck and lower face, chin implant, lip filler,’ and maybe an ‘eye lift.’ Another commenter suggests a specific procedure, costing around $3,000, ‘Buchal fat pad removal: We have these grape to worm size pieces of fat in our faces that can easily be sucked out through the mouth. This is the very hot, yet secret procedure to show your cheek bones and thin your face 5-10 pounds.’ Whatever she’s had done to her face, she’s not easily recognisable as the same person. And, if these weren’t labelled, I may not have realised these were of Palin. She was thinner in 2009 and didn’t suddenly look like this, so it’s unlikely the re-shaping of her 2.0 face is weight loss alone. Moreover, full-length photos show she hasn’t lost weight from her body. It’s more likely several procedures. I think there’s a brow lift of some kind in there too because her 2.0 eyebrows are half-an-inch higher on her forehead.
The ’2011′ shots of Palin wearing a one-sleeve dress are from a New York event on May 4. The white two-sleeve sequin dress was shot May 1 in Washington, DC.
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Yeah. $30,000 real dollars. None of those dollars being singles. Nor crack money. The Black Eyed Peas front woman, who got tongues wagging with a ‘new face’ during a recent American Idol performance, reportedly paid $30,000 for her new face. I’m going to spit out right now that the source on this is wonky… Star Magazine. And regular readers will know how I feel about that type of tabloid. However, I’m making an exception. Because I’m amused, browsing through pictures of meth-face, and because I’m delirious after a day of no rest, and computer problems that make me regret buying my laptop and modem from the trunk of a car at the gates of hell. Well, in any case, in a story of plastic surgery her husband refuted with some idiocy about lipstick, it’s alleged Fergie got surgery including ‘a brow lift, eyelid lift and filler in her cheeks… Botox in her eyebrows and a chemical peel.’ That’s according to some crackhead doctor who’s admitted to being too busy eating bon bons to treat Fergie, or anyone else. Star just got someone to look at a photo, say what may have been done and what it would have cost. Whatever. Pictures show Josh Duhamel, and wife Fergie, at the American Red Cross Annual Red Tie Affair in Santa Monica, California April 9.
Vanessa Hudgens hates you, fans. As much as she hates having to get coverage for her pap smears, when she can make her own at home. She’s giving a bunch of increasingly-obnoxious interviews for the two movies she’s promoting at the moment (neither of which are noteworthy, you’re missing nothing). She gave an interview to the LA Times, in which she bemoaned fans who sounded her age. And who remembered that she was in High School Musical. Because labia only did so much to expunge the memory of Disney slave cheer. ‘Teenagers come up to me and are obnoxious about the whole thing, like, ‘Oh my God, you’re that girl… You’re that girl from the Disney Channel.’ And I’m like, ‘I was that girl.” Hudgens clearly attended the Nicole Richie school of passive-aggressive come-backs. She added that she split with ex-boyfriend Zac Efron because she’s an indulgent narcissist who couldn’t stand sharing the press. Okay, I’m paraphrasing. But only a little. ‘Cos now it’s all about her. ‘It was interesting,’ she said of being half of such a high-profile couple. ‘But we got to a point where it was just like, we just can’t pay attention, because one week we’d be married and then the next week we’d be broken up and the next week I would have a baby. It was just the most obscene things.’ Yeah, she split up with Efron because he scored her too many Us Weekly covers. Oh, and I’m selfish for speaking of her Labia Of DOOM ™. ‘It’s just silly because I’m a very present person, and that’s the thing that has been so in the past.’ she said, of her nude photo scandals. ‘The fact that somebody keeps bringing up the past is just selfish. I mean, it sucks. I already released a statement the first time it happened. It’s just unfortunate that it keeps reminding people about the past and not the present.’
I’m not usually one to treat exclamation points like they’re the key to better faps, but in this case I thought I’d make an exception. The only reason I can easily put a face to this guy’s name is the abomination against cinema that was Burlesque; hardly his first movie (or television show for that matter), of course, but it’s the most recent thing I’ve seen him in… after watching with the same morbid curiosity that led me to watch Showgirls, Jennifer’s Body, and Sex & The City 2. In the movie, he’s passable at worst. He’s shirtless a lot, so his slightly off-side face is less of an issue. I mean, he’s got abs or whatever, so I was less bothered by his molester forehead. In any case, Gigandet, 28, did this to his hair. I’m guessing of his own free will. He debuted the longer, blond hair at WonderCon in San Francisco on Friday, and for some reason I’m only just seeing this mess now. ‘It was just for fun,’ Gigandet told MTV News of his makeover. ‘I just needed something different.’ Because someone needed to be blamed, and roundly spanked, for crimes against bleach, he added, ‘My sister does hair and she’s great at it, but this is the first I’ve ever trusted her to do something.’