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Posts Tagged ‘Fail’

Olivia Munn Wants Teens To Get Knocked-Up

In a series of bad puns about Justin Bieber saving the economy, Olivia Munn joked that there’d be no financial meltdown if irresponsible teenage mothers failed by sex education and MTV would just make more babies. Specifically using 17-year-old Bieber as an example because his mother, Patricia Lynn Mallette, was 18-years-old when she had him, Munn opined, ‘Look, Justin Bieber was a mistake. Teenagers don’t get pregnant on purpose, OK? However, that mistake turned into a billion dollar idea! So, I think teenagers around the world, load it up! Let’s make some Biebers! The economy needs a little boost. Let’s make some Biebers!’

10 photos from California Our Idiot Brother and Cowboys and Aliens premieres.

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Tara Reid Enters Celebrity Big Brother UK House

Can you even cope with how dumb this is? Ugh. I did wonder, along with everyone else, why would Tara Reid get married and engaged and shill honeymoon photos to Lies&Style on the same weekend. There’s a reason for the rushed wedding to a dude I suspect she took three days to learn the name of (that’s how long before she corrected the media/ her rep, none of whom knew the name of the groom). She got engaged to and married to Zack Kehayov on Saturday, shilled to L&S on Monday and shared honeymoon photos on Thursday because she needed the publicity before entering the UK’s Big Brother house. Big Brother was actually cancelled here a while ago, because it ran its course. However, the defunct show has been bought by another channel, so it’s like it never left. In news that somehow escaped my notice, probably because I don’t watch the channel it’s on, the first of 10 contestants entered the CBBUK house last night. Among them were trainwreck Kerry Katona and David Hasselhoff’s ex-wife, Pamela Bach. So, Reid left her husband after what had to be a measly three/ four-day honeymoon. And after starting her marriage on Saturday, she may not see him for three weeks. ‘People know me the most for American Pie, I hope the British public like me. But no Facebook or Twitter, what am I going to do?’ she said, before admitting she didn’t know who were any of the other housemates. ’I have no idea who’s in the house right now, but I’ll tell you [what I think] after. I’m a very fun girl.’ Hilarity ensued as Reid struggled to understand Katona’s North English accent.

They’ve spent one night/ morning in the house, and she’s already in her bikini.

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Video Of Taylor Swift’s Wardrobe Malfunction

Taylor Swift had an upskirt/ wardrobe malfunction during a concert in St. Louis on Saturday. I don’t follow what she does, so her panties are the first I’ve seen of her since the end of Gyllenspoon. Swift was singing one of her dreary snogs about murdering an ex-boyfriend in his sleep when she walked to a portion of the stage with an excitable wind-machine. Her whole dress lifted to reveal nude granny panties. Hilarity ensued as she tried to steady herself and her voice cracked. After pulling down her hem, most of the dress was STILL folded over, exposing her butt cheek. She eventually realised and stopped bragging about laundry day.

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I Shall Lower My Goals, Work For Paula Abdul

Because it would be a fitting testament to my latent self-loathing, I want to abandon all that I have become and surrender myself to the power of Paula Abdul. I’m not kidding. No more working from home for me. No more naps, no more snack breaks, no more shirtless Sundays and pantless everydays. I’ll get my s**t together and turn up at her front door demanding a job because working for the completely sane and sober X Factor US judge sounds like a life-affirming experience for all those involved. And this is completely true, because I deserve good things and I NEED this story from Us Weekly to be true. According to a source, Abdul uses her assistants for affirmations not her bathroom mirror.

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Gwyneth Paltrow Prefers Crack To Pauper Food

I wish I were putting words into her mouth. But for some colourful paraphrasing, that’s a real quote from Gwyneth Paltrow. Did you know that your pauper food physically disgusts her? Did you even know you were a pauper? On all counts, shame on you! She would rather deign to smoke crack than eat anything you grabbed from your extreme couponing hoard. Paltrow will be one of the guests on a forthcoming episode of the BBC’s Jonathan Ross Show. There’s a preview quote that’s being attributed to Paltrow in which she opines the virtues of crack versus processed food, ‘I’d rather smoke crack than eat cheese from a can.’

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Jesse James Is Cool With His Decision To Cheat

Jesse James is still a moral-free turd. This person has been speaking to the media again, promoting a new book I hope none of you buy. Somehow thinking that cheating and admitting it makes everything okay, as though NOT cheating were never an option, James once again excuses his bad behaviour. You see, as we learned with LeAnn Rimes, cheating is okay because other people do it too. Moreover, cheating is okay because admitting cheating is like kissing a boo-boo on the knee; it makes everything better. Asked whether or not he forgave himself for cheating on ex-wife Sandra Bullock with seven women, James, replied, ‘Oh yeah. I’m cool.’ F**king scumbag. Ugh. ‘The media portrayed it as this huge negative thing, but if anything, I got more support from everybody else, because, yes, I cheated on my wife, but so do a lot of other people… Does that mean I’m the devil? Or that I’m Satan? I don’t think so. I made a mistake and I’m sorry for it, but I owned up to it. I didn’t lie about it or do any kind of BS.’ Like I said, sticking your penis in seven other women when you’re married because your friends have no morals either and you admitted it right after. See, it’s FINE!

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