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Posts Tagged ‘Fail’

PETA Reacts To Mischa Barton Raw Steak Shoot

Reacting only because they were asked for comment by TooFab.com, PETA has issued a statement about the Mischa Barton shoot with Tyler Shields for which the two posed with raw steak. PETA’s statement: ‘This raw meat stuff is getting old and may not only hurt and kill cows, it may hurt Mischa, because  so much meat is infected with salmonella, E. coli, and campylobacter that licking it is like licking a toilet… In addition to this being completely unoriginal, it’s completely callous; flesh from a tortured animal isn’t a joke, isn’t camp, and isn’t cool. Meat is full of blood, is produced with violence, and causes great suffering. So if that’s the look they were going for, too bad. They could have taken a leaf out of the playbooks of Pamela Anderson and Alyssa Milano, two PETA pinups who have shown off their natural beauty in outfits made of lettuce leaves.’ Shields reacted to PETA’s reaction… ‘I did not kill the cow, I just bought the meat. If they feel like I should be using lettuce instead of meat, I will see if I can work that into something. I don’t attack them for being non-meat eaters so I hope they can respect my choice as a human to eat it.’ My reactions: 1) floss 2) don’t ‘lick toilet seats’ for coke money 3) if I ever do need coke money, Shields is hiring.

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Tyler Shields’ Meat In Mischa Barton’s Mouth

Here’s another ludicrous shoot The Poor Man’s Uncle Terry ™ did with the light settings still jacked on his smartphone. These are newly-released photos Tyler Shields did with Mischa Barton after being harassed into doing so by randoms who ran a foreign Barton fan club. Shields explained: ‘So one day out of the blue I start getting emails with the subject ‘Mischa Barton’ Upon opening the emails I realize they are from her fan club in Brazil they were asking me to shoot her the emails didnt stop for almost 2 weeks at the same time they were emailing me they were emailing one of her best friends about me I randomly met her friend and we talked about it a few days later this happened… She was amazing to work with and I cant wait to do it again.’ So, of course, these are the photos for which he’ll overcharge later. They show Barton’s teeth rotting (she REALLY needs a clean) as she gets food poisoning from gumming raw steak. Four photos below.

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David Boreanaz Affair ‘A Bonding Experience’

I’m not even in the mood for shenanigans today… so I’m going to glaze over this as indelicately as I can before retreating to my happy place (my cave… a penguin is my spirit animal). Cheating David Boreanaz is thrilled that wife Jaime Bergman, mother to his son Jaden, 9, and daughter Bella, 2, is too dependent on him to leave after an admitted affair with Rachel Uchitel. WHEE! Cheating’s fun. Getting away with cheating because your spouse has no spine is even more fun… who wants to bet he’s still cheating on her? The actor tells TV Week that his affair has been ‘a bonding experience, in the long run.’ ‘In a sacred ground like marriage, you find yourself out of it at certain times for reasons unknown that can be destructive. There could be a demon that kind of comes out and overtakes you,’ the actor explains, sounding like his rep gave him a script beforehand. ‘[In any relationship, there are] fantastic moments and extremely rocky moments. Do I believe in giving up? No, I don’t. I’m a fighter. I’m a lover.’ Maybe he should believe in his marriage, fidelity, and his kids. What a d**k.

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The Poor Man’s Uncle Terry Got Death Threats

Tyler Shields admitted the real reason he apologised for the domestic violence photos… death threats. That’s irony right? I mean actual irony, in its proper sense. Threats of actual harm or death because of perceived glorification of domestic violence. I covered this already, sort of. However, only today did I learn about this statement from Shields: ‘In no way did we even think about promoting domestic violence. A lot of people have been sending me death threats because they are angry I am promoting violence, which was never the case. However we do have people talking so I will auction off 3 photos for $100,000 each and I will give every penny to charity if they sell. So if you are anti-domestic abuse spread the word about it. Threatening to kill me is not going to help anything.‘ Here’s the thing: context. Shields’ pictures sparked outrage because of lack of context. He published the photos with little explanation and the most substantive commentary was ‘Even Barbie bruises.’ People assumed he was glorifying violence against women. And he sort of was. Would a better conceived shoot, with better context given upon publication, have stopped this uproar?

Tyler Shields Sorry For Domestic Violence Photo

Heather Morris of Glee posed for a domestic violence-theme photo shoot with Tyler Shields. In the photos, she appeared to have a black eye and/ or have been beaten with an iron that served as a prop. She was dressed as a housewife, posing with household items while beaten, bound, and restrained. I think Shields was just over-excited at finding new settings on his iPhone camera. But… IDK. As with the Lindsay Lohan bloodbath photo shoot, Shields runs down the battery on his iPhone first and asks questions later. The shoot with Morris really offended people though. And, backed into a corner with Chris Brown, Shields apologised. The poor man’s Uncle Terry told TMZ.com ‘He’s sorry it came off that way.’ Moreover, he’s going to over-charge for one of his prints and donate the proceeds to a domestic violence/ women’s charity. His minor works start at $500. His celebrity prints run around $40,000. Bidding for these will be around $100,000.

Heather Morris In New Tyler Shields Photo Shoot

I don’t really know what to make of this photo shoot of Glee’s Heather Morris with Tyler Shields, except to say it’s basic as f**k. The theme is ‘Even Barbie bruises.’ Or something. I was so distracted by the off-key domestic violence subtext, I couldn’t make more of it. That’s what this shoot is, right? It’s, like, sexy domestic violence where everyone has really pretty hair. I know I had pretty hair and a Sears dress the last time I was beat on for singeing the ironing. Hmm… if you can handle all the basic in this shoot, there’s more and a video below.

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