Posts Tagged ‘Celebrity Wedding’

Peaches & Cream Gandalf has decided to call it quits on her FAIL marriage [Website – Amy Grindhouse].

Gandalf, in what one can only assume was a drunken stupor, married 24 year-old Max Drummey in Las Vegas, all the way back in August, after meeting his goofy arse on MySpace.

I remember the good old days, when you could just meet someone on a wholesome dating site, like Adult Friend Finder. Nowadays these crazy kids are marrying people they meet on FaceBook and the like… MySpace. MyArse more like it. And my mother had the nerve to question my mental faculties after I married some dude I met on Twitter. Twitter is the stuff of dreams. Twitter marriages actually last!

According to The News of the World:

Last night a source close to the model and DJ confirmed last night: “Peaches is going to divorce Max. She woke up to realise the marriage was a huge mistake and that Max is not the man of her dreams.

“She doesn’t fancy him any more, and wants to move on. To her it is as simple as that. She just wants to divorce him and find a new boyfriend.

“Max is heartbroken. He has been through the mill in the last three months, but there is nothing he can do. He genuinely believed marriage was a long term commitment, but Peaches has shattered his dreams.”

The pal continued: “We all warned her not to rush into this but Peaches, being as defiant and cocky as ever, just ploughed in head first.

“Over the past few weeks they hardly spent any time together in America. When they did they both got each other’s nerves. None of Peaches’ friends is surprised by what’s happened.”

The two got together as Peaches was struggling with a string of problems in London.

[IMAGE CREDIT: Demis Maryannakis / Splash News]

AmyGrindhouse.com written by Amy Grindhouse © All logos and original content should not be reproduced without permission. All rights reserved. When quoting, use excerpts with attribution only. No images may be used without prior permission.

I laughed so hard reading this I just totally p*ssed my pants [Website – Amy Grindhouse].

I know that may be a little too much information, but really, this is just such an unbelievable development in the ridiculous saga, that is the marriage of Princess Mimi and Kid Nicky, that I am pretty sure that I just pulled a muscle in my vajayjay from tensing up – was trying a little too hard to stop any more pee coming out. You have muscles down there, don’t you? I think I do. Mine’s not as impressive as Madge’s ’roid vadge, but it’s pretty effing awesome!

WTF was I talking about?

Oh yeah – meant to let you guys in on an interesting tidbit about Mimi’s vagina, not mine. I always digress when talking about people’s privates. Mariah Carey has revealed why she married her boo-boo, Nick Cannon, so quickly after they got together. She was saving the delights of her magical singing vagina, until their wedding night.

So says Mimi:

“It’s not that we had no intimacy. It’s just me, and my feelings. I definitely don’t want to push it on anybody else. But we both have similar beliefs, and I just thought that it would be so much more special if we waited until after we were married. And it was, and it still is.”

Um, OK. So she waited until they were married before she gave it up. That’s believable. I mean, look at her in the image above, isn’t she just as pure as the driven snow? Think I might abstain until they get divorced. Shouldn’t be too long now? RIGHT!?!

[IMAGE CREDIT: Scott Doctor/ Splash News]

AmyGrindhouse.com written by Amy Grindhouse © All logos and original content should not be reproduced without permission. All rights reserved. When quoting, use excerpts with attribution only. No images may be used without prior permission.

The Only Decent Singer Spice a.k.a. Sporty Spice – Melanie Chisholm, is set to marry her long term boo and father of her unborn-child, Thomas Starr [Website – Amy Grindhouse].

According to The Mirror:

Melanie Chisholm, 34, and Thomas Starr, her partner of six years, got engaged last month.

Now they are telling family and friends to prepare for a spring wedding. Invitations have already been printed.

Mel’s baby, to be called Starr, is thought to be due in March, making her the last of the five-girl group to become a mother.

[IMAGE CREDIT: Pacific Coast News]

AmyGrindhouse.com written by Amy Grindhouse © All rights reserved. When quoting, use excerpts with attribution only.

That’s Mrs ‘Ample Boobies’ Johansson if-you-please [Website – Amy Grindhouse].

Scarlett Johansson and her breath-taking cleavage wed Ryan Reynolds yesterday, for reasons that I will be probing her about, over a nice glass of scotch, a bit later.

According to US Weekly:

The small wedding took place at a remote wilderness resort outside Vancouver. Guests included Scarlett’s mother, Melanie Sloan, and her brother, Adrian Johansson.

There is no way that this marriage will stay together…

Don’t get me wrong, I am all for pretty people pairing up and multiplying (just look at the Jolie-Pitts, pretty spawn make the world go around!)

But, lets be real. Johansson is 23 and Reynolds is 31. These people are around my age. This means that their collective level of maturity is probably about as low as mine. I am only now at the point in my life, where I can say the word ‘poop’ and not chuckle *chuckles*.

Also, the pair have been romantically linked for about one year. I have tins of food milling about in the back of my kitchen cupboards that have been together longer than one year. One year is quite a push. Barely long enough, to get to know each other, each other’s families and each others favourite swears. Tell me, if you don’t know whether your partner’s favourite swear is ‘boobies’ or ‘bum’, what chance do you have at making a marriage work?

[IMAGE CREDIT: SplashNews.com (above) & Jackson Lee/Turgeon/Rocke/Splash (below)]

AmyGrindhouse.com written by Amy Grindhouse © All rights reserved. When quoting, use excerpts with attribution only.

According to Star Magazine, the newly married Portia de Rossi is to change her surname to that of her spouse Ellen DeGeneres [Website – Amy Grindhouse].

The former Ally McBeal star is said to be officially changing her name to Porta DeGeneres.

See, still Portia-De-Fancy-Pants-if-you-please and still a very nice and very long-winded name.

A source told Star:

Portia and Ellen ordered stationary with “Mrs. and Mrs. DeGeneres” printed on it. The source went on to say: “Ellen and Portia used it to write thank-you notes to the 19 friends and family who attended.”

I think Ellen should have made more of an effort and jumped in as well.

Why not really think outside of the box and swap last names? It’s not like anyone is gonna tell you otherwise!

Ellen de Rossi – anyone?

To watch the pair’s wedding video, click here.

[IMAGE CREDIT: Whittle/Splash News]

AmyGrindhouse.com written by Amy Grindhouse © All rights reserved. When quoting, use excerpts with attribution only.