Tila Tequila filed a suit against Sean Merriman over the alleged assault that was reported back in September.

The reality star of A Shot at Love With Tila Tequila, real name Tila Nguyen, has not stopped tweeting about the case pretty much since it happened.

Although the San Diego Chargers linebacker wasn’t charged with a crime at the time, Tequila is now seeking damages for assault, battery, false imprisonment, and emotional distress. Her lawyer, Cyrus Nownejad, is citing photos of alleged bruises up the star’s arms and the effing enormous height/ weight disparity. Tila Tequila is 4′11″, 93 lbs., while Shawne Merriman is 6′4″, 280 lbs..

Tequila claims the assault happened as she tried to leave her ex, Merriman’s, home. However, San Diego District Attorney Bonnie Dumanis dismissed the accusations. Her office spent three days reviewing reports from the San Diego County Sheriff’s Department, and determined there was insufficient evidence to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that any crime was committed.

Image credit to ER/ Flynet Pictures. Story ESPN Sports and TMZ.

Extortion suspect in the Cindy Crawford case, Edis Kayalar, has surrendered to authorities in Germany.

Late last week it was reported that a man by the name of Edis Kayalar was alleged to have tried to extort $100,000 from former supermodel Cindy Crawford. The German model/ criminal was said to have acquired a photo from Crawford and her husband’s former nanny. The  photo showed their seven-year-old daughter bound and gagged during a game of cops and robbers.

According to an FBI affidavit, the couple first heard from the slime-bag back in July. He embellished the content of the photo, saying it showed the child in provocative clothing and that he wanted to meet. He detailed that he’d stolen the photo from the fired nanny, who had advised him it was worth a lot of money. The nanny has not been named in the suit, nor spanked for their idiocy, but we can only hope as it seems they are as culpable as Kayalar.

To try to put the extortion to rest husband Rande Gerber offered $1,000, when the model admitted he was broke and was up to his broke ass in bills. He was then dumb enough to call back, wanting money for a copy of the photo. Crawford and Gerber then sent the popo and the FBI after him. Here’s hoping the book is thrown at him for exploiting a small child in this way.

Image credit to TMZ. Story & info. TMZ, NY Daily News, The LA Times.

Shayne Lamas of Leave it to Lamas has been arrested on suspicion of DUI, as she proudly announced to the media.

Shayne Lamas wants some extra viewers for her family’s reality show, Leave it to Lamas. These people were a little too excited when the family’s ex-step mommy or whomever, Shauna Sand, had a sex tape to be release which would also have garnered the show and it’s so-called stars a little further attention.

Worried perhaps that no one would otherwise be interested, Lamas sent a statement to E! declaring she had been busted on a DUI charge, just after 1 a.m. Saturday in Venice, Calif.. Perhaps we’ll get a reenactment of the arrest as we did on Keeping Up With the Kardashians when Khloe Kardashian was arrested for the same. We can only hope, then perhaps someone would actually be watching.

Six unremarkable photos of the unremarkable Lamas family can be seen below.

Image credit to Juan Rico/Fame Pictures. Story & info. TMZ and E! Online.

Jon Gosselin says he is too famous for a real job in papers relating to TLC’s breach of contract lawsuit.

Jon Gosselin is being sued by TLC in a breach of contract lawsuit and I’m glad. Every minute he occupies his time with that, he is not available for his douche duties. In court papers relating to the case, Gosselin says due to his quasi-fame he is unable to seek a non-entertainment related form of employment.

In other words, being on one moderately-successful show means he’s above working a 9-5 along with the little people. Nowhere does it mention his ignorant attitude or receding hairline as reasons for his failure to return to a regular life.

In an affidavit filed as part of the lawsuit [...], Jon states, “Now, I find myself unemployed and without the ability to secure non-entertainment related engagements because the enormous media interest, cameras, reporters and public interest makes it impossible to carry on normal daily activities, let alone find, secure and maintain a job with an employer who is willing to be exposed to the daily media intrusions that has impeded by life.” (via Radar Online)

Image credit to BF/ Fylnet Picture. Story & info. Radar Online, OK! magazine.

Cindy Crawford was the victim of an extortion plot.

The mother and former supermodel and had a criminal try to sell a photo of her daughter, taken without her knowledge. The photo wasn’t anything gruesome as such, but a picture of Crawford and husband Rande Gerber’s 7-year-old little girl tied to a chair bound and gagged. The picture had been taken by a former nanny without the couple’s knowledge, as part of a game of cops and robbers.

The former nanny took the pictures as a prank and but then a friend, German model Edis Kayalar, obtained them and threatened to sell them to the media.

Initially Gerber paid $1,000 for what he thought was the only copy. Then the alleged extortionist came back saying he had a copy and demanded $100,000. The couple went to the police who then rightly turned the case over to the FBI.

Below is the a mugshot photo of Edis Kayalar, Crawford’s alleged extortionist.

Image credit to ANG/Fame Pictures, TMZ. Story TMZ 1, 2, 3 and NY Daily News.

The parents of Balloon Boy, his father Richard and mother Mayumi, will plead guilty to some of the charges filed over their stupid publicity stunt.

According to People, the parents of 6-year-old Falcon Heene will be admitting their guilt to some charges in a Fort Collins, Colo. court 8:30AM Friday Nov, 13.

The mother will be pleading guilty to a misdemeanor charge of false reporting to authorities and the father will plead guilty to a felony charge of attempting to influence a public servant. No word on whether people will be standing outside of the court room waiting to throw rotten fruit at them, but here’s hoping.

Keith Lewis, Executive Director of Miss California USA and Miss California Teen USA, has lashed out in response to Carrie Prejean’s Larry King interview.

Keith Lewis, Executive Director of Miss California USA, has issued a statement concerning Carrie Prejean’s face palm-worthy Larry King Live interview.

Lewis became so frustrated with Prejean’s interactions with the media and alleged lie-telling that he essentially resorted calling her names. This is the second time his reps have contacted this site about Prejean in a week. The only thing left to do now is actually start hair-pulling or eye-gouging.

Official Statement from Keith Lewis, Executive Director, Miss California USA® in response to Carrie Prejean on Larry King: “The public is finally getting a glimpse of the real Carrie Prejean who lives in her own delusional world. The childish behavior, her negative attitude, the sarcasm and condescending tone, the disrespect and continual lying she is demonstrating now is only a fraction of what we endured during her reign and after. Anyone who buys her book is supporting a woman who is actually the opposite of everything she claims to be. I sincerely hope she is able to get the psychological help I believe she has shown to clearly need.” (via a statement emailed to the site moments ago.)

Image credit to Diane Cohen/Fame Pictures.

Susan Boyle is said to have a stalker who is following her movements across the globe.

Susan Boyle has been given extra security to ensure her safety, after an alleged stalker turned up at her home in West Lothian, Scotland. In photos, it always looks like there’s a small village of paparazzi outside her front door. It probably wasn’t that hard for some random crazy person to use Google Maps for Psychos to spot the gathering of snappers and work out where the songstress lived.

The 48-year-old Britain’s Got Talent runner up has been receiving strange fan letters from a middle-aged American woman.

The woman clearly has self-esteem issues, if she’s stalking my darling cat-loving Su-Bo. More of a concern than being confronted by the stalker, is what kind of assistance we can offer so that she feels a little better about herself. She clearly feels like Su-Bo is the biggest fancy pants in her reach. Once sedated, all she’ll need is a hug and she’ll feel good enough about herself and her psycho stalker-tendencies to pursue a real A-lister and not just a cuddly reality star.

Image credit to MOE/Fame Pictures. Story & info. The Sun.

Mike Tyson was arrested at LAX after he allegedly punched an over-aggressive paparazzo in the face.

Mike Tyson had another untimely outburst, after all his big talk on Oprah recently about being a changed man. The boxing champ, not known for keeping his cool, has been accused of getting into a bloody confrontation with a paparazzo, at LAX airport. The incident happened at the United Airlines ticket terminal, when the 43-year-old father was passing through LAX from Europe en route to Las Vegas.

Apparently, he was travelling with his 10-month-old daughter and was being pursued by an over-aggressive snapper. So, he couldn’t resist the urge to go Kanye West on that annoying MFer, whom I have a sneaking suspicion deserved at least a light slap around the face.

According to reports, a punch or two from the heavyweight, and there was blood everywhere. The pap is said to have gotten up after being pimp-slapped and walked off leaving a gruesome trail of blood.

An ambulance was dispatched to LAX at 4:39 PM EST yesterday. The paparazzo suffered a minor laceration to the forehead. He was transported to a local hospital. According to the popo both idiots in the incident performed citizen’s arrests on each other, expecting to be booked for misdemeanor batter.

Since the arrest late yesterday, Tyson has been booked for misdemeanor battery and his bail was set for $20,000. The photographer was booked on misdemeanor battery. A few hours later at around 8:33 PM Tyson was released on his own recognizance to go and smack the snot out of someone else.

Image credit to ANG/Fame Pictures. Story & info. TMZ and People.

Miss California pageant is considering legal action against Carrie Prejean over claims in her new book.

Carrie Prejean appeared on The Today Show Nov. 10. The former Miss California USA lost her crown after a whole lot of annoying ass clowning around. Ass clowning around like getting caught in a sex tape scandal and not having the good sense to let sleeping dogs lie when she is lucky enough to escape a lawsuit.

In a statement sent to this site a moment ago, Keith Lewis, Executive Director of Miss California USA and Miss California Teen USA, expresses regret that his attentions have again been taken away from focusing on the upcoming pageant.

Official Statement from Keith Lewis, Executive Director, Miss California USA & Miss California Teen USA in response to Carrie Prejean Book: “Unfortunately, Ms. Prejean has once again taken us away from preparing for the upcoming 2010 Miss California USA pageant on November 22nd. Her book is full of inaccuracies and outright lies. We are considering all legal options, but remain committed to the business of beauty. Ms Prejean was fired because of breach of contract and her most recent admission is only further proof that our decision was not optional but mandatory.” (via statement emailed to the site moments ago.)