Lindsay Lohan and the woman who stole Lindsay Lohan’s playbook (and who’s going to need Lindsay Lohan’s lawyer) got away with crimes this weekend because the California legal system has since dropped the pretense that vehicular crimes are worth investigating. First, the real Lohan’s alleged hit-and-run back in March. During which time there’s been only a perfunctory investigation and little attempt to gather evidence or statements. Under the loose assumption ‘Nah, she’d never do that’ the charges against Lohan were dropped this weekend, after it was decided by prosecutors the accusing witness (the guy she supposedly ran into) was not credible. In other ‘Nah,’ news, Amanda Bynes is still on chapter one of the playbook which means she’s still on smaller crimes like sideswiping cars while allegedly under the influence. Although, we can only conjecture about this weekend’s incident because she wasn’t even breathalyzed. Trying to pass another car in Hollywood on Friday, Bynes hit and run at which time an LAPD helicopter and ‘a total of six police cars arrived on the scene and made contact with Bynes,’ according to reports. Bynes told police she didn’t realise she hit anyone and ‘It turned out the damage to the pick-up truck was so minor that it was very plausible she had no idea that she hit anyone. Because of that, we decided not to charge her with hit and run, took a traffic report instead and sent her on her way. There were no arrests made and no one was injured.’ She got away with hitting someone. The only charge she’ll face is misdemeanor ‘failure to take a chemical test’ for drunkenly swiping the cop car, for which there’s no significant penalty except hours in jail or losing her license for a year.
