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Posts Tagged ‘Brangelina’

Angelina Jolie Threatening To Get Pregnant

Dec 14th, 2011
by Amy Grindhouse.
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The threat level has already been set to maximum, the proper authorities alerted, and emergency aid sent to Angelina Jolie’s existing chirrens. Jolie has threatened to Michelle Duggar the living s**t out of her womb, if $500,000 in damp strang singles aren’t delivered in the bottom of a muffin basket to my house. Um, I think that’s what she’s threatening anyway. Some more quotes have been released from Jolie’s Marie Claire interview, in which the mother undoes all the hard work of the Vanity Fair denial. Telling Marie Claire: ‘Nothing planned at the moment, but we just don’t know. I could end up pregnant.’ Oh, or it could just be a publicity-grab empty threat since she’s got a movie out.

Brad Pitt As Eraserhead For NY Times Magazine

Dec 9th, 2011
by Amy Grindhouse.
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Brad Pitt covers New York Times Magazine in what’s got to be the best magazine cover ever. For those who’ve been following, this is Pitt after being drained of his glorious Technicolor by Chupacabra Jolie. Don’t worry, they digitally added back the colour, so it looks great. Pitt is channeling Eraserhead from David Lynch’s 1977 movie. There’s video below of Pitt smizing through this aneurysm.

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Angelina Jolie Covers Marie Claire January 2012

Dec 7th, 2011
by Amy Grindhouse.
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Angelina Jolie covers Marie Claire January 2012 after fully-digesting Brad Pitt’s formerly-glorious Technicolor (it’s got what a Chupacabra needs). Jolie is promoting her new film, In The Land Of Blood & Honey, which may be a copy pasta of someone else’s work. That remains to be seen. So, until that’s settled, let’s all look at pretty pictures. Here’s Marie Claire trying to start something with its cover: On directing, marriage, and why ‘I could get pregnant again.’

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Angelina Jolie Probably Just Ate Brad Pitt

Dec 7th, 2011
by Amy Grindhouse.
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Here’s Chupacabra Jolie, with a half-digested Brad Pitt in her stomach (it’s got electrolytes). Here’s the actress following the premiere of the movie she’s alleged to have stolen from a journalist’s 2007 article about the same subject. Jolie has, since the premiere, finished draining the glorious Technicolor out of Pitt and has transformed from ‘That’ll do’ black-on-black to white-on-nude.

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In The Land of Blood & Honey Premiere Photos

Dec 6th, 2011
by Amy Grindhouse.
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Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt attended the New York City premiere of In The Land Of Blood And Honey together. Which means little, except they’re in matching ‘That’ll do’ black-on-black and they found a sitter. Jolie’s wearing her usual; something dark and tailored. Chupacabra has slowly drained Pitt from glorious Technicolor to a more somber ‘Grown-folk grey.’ 10 photos below. This is the directorial debut for which Jolie’s being sued for copyright infringement after she allegedly stole her plot from a 2007 article by Croatian writer, James J. Braddock.

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Brad Pitt Wants That Oscar Before He Retires

Nov 15th, 2011
by Amy Grindhouse.
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Just before his succubus partner inhaled the last of his soul, Brad Pitt let the world know he’s only intermittently happy. As in, sometimes he’s happy, sometimes Angelina Jolie inhales entirely too much soul, not leaving him enough to get through the day. Pitt spoke with Australia’s 60 Minutes where he launched what most people are reading as a thinly-veiled Oscar campaign. ‘I am really enjoying the producing side and development of stories and putting those pieces together… getting stories to the plate that might have had a tougher times otherwise,’ said the actor who’s quitting acting in three years. ‘I think happiness is overrated, truthfully. I do. I think sometimes you’re happy, sometimes you’re not. There’s too much pressure to be happy. I don’t know. I don’t really give a s**t. I know I will be at times and I know I won’t be at times. Satisfied, at peace, those would be more goals for myself.’ The video’s HERE along with a transcript.

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