Angelina Jolie and an injured Brad Pitt were two of the celebrities at the Palm Springs International Film Festival 2012. Pitt has been walking around with a pimp cane since last week, prompting conspiracy theories about the root of his injury. It’s not that exciting, Pitt says it’s not a broken hip, or whatever, he [...]
Posts Tagged ‘Brangelina’
Jennifer Aniston Probably Has Brad Pitt’s Sperm
Jennifer Aniston just ticked off the last crazy box in Cat Lady Bingo. I assumed she handed in her giant marker and tombola when she started dating Justin Theroux. However, this anecdote from a friend certifies her as a lifetime member of the club (lifetime membership also means her cats will always have a father [...]
Angelina Jolie Threatening To Get Pregnant
The threat level has already been set to maximum, the proper authorities alerted, and emergency aid sent to Angelina Jolie’s existing chirrens. Jolie has threatened to Michelle Duggar the living s**t out of her womb, if $500,000 in damp strang singles aren’t delivered in the bottom of a muffin basket to my house. Um, I [...]
Brad Pitt As Eraserhead For NY Times Magazine
Brad Pitt covers New York Times Magazine in what’s got to be the best magazine cover ever. For those who’ve been following, this is Pitt after being drained of his glorious Technicolor by Chupacabra Jolie. Don’t worry, they digitally added back the colour, so it looks great. Pitt is channeling Eraserhead from David Lynch’s 1977 movie. There’s video [...]
Angelina Jolie Covers Marie Claire January 2012
Angelina Jolie covers Marie Claire January 2012 after fully-digesting Brad Pitt’s formerly-glorious Technicolor (it’s got what a Chupacabra needs). Jolie is promoting her new film, In The Land Of Blood & Honey, which may be a copy pasta of someone else’s work. That remains to be seen. So, until that’s settled, let’s all look at pretty [...]
Angelina Jolie Probably Just Ate Brad Pitt
Here’s Chupacabra Jolie, with a half-digested Brad Pitt in her stomach (it’s got electrolytes). Here’s the actress following the premiere of the movie she’s alleged to have stolen from a journalist’s 2007 article about the same subject. Jolie has, since the premiere, finished draining the glorious Technicolor out of Pitt and has transformed from ‘That’ll do’ black-on-black [...]
