Michelle Rodriguez is also at Cannes even though her typecasting is such that her wife beater is the only thing that changes from movie to movie. Because playing a police officer stops being interesting once you’re out of pretend donuts, Rodriguez skipped movie promotion and instead jumped into the ocean. These pictures show Rodriguez jumping off the cliffs at Eden Roc Hotel in Cannes, France, yesterday. She’s using the Exposed Crack Technique ™ to gain buoyancy: you have to wait for your crack to fill with water and then, when it’s full, it’s pretty much impossible to drown. More pictures of the technique are below.
Posts Tagged ‘Bikini Pictures’
Gwen Stefani is one of the many celebrities who fly to Cannes each year regardless of their involvement with the movie industry. It’s been a while since I did candids since they usually suck, but these pictures serve as a reminder of how bad you’re supposed to feel about yourself after eating that second cream cheese bagel. I, for example, feel bad enough to put down my third cream cheese bagel.
Stefani was aboard Roman Abramovich’s yacht Luna, yesterday. This woman has that stomach after two baby things. I don’t have that stomach after two sodas.
Holly Madison, famous for being a glorified concubine of a glorified pornographer, covers this week’s Lies&Style. Well, she gets half a cover. I guess the magazine were so scared they’d not sell without a Kardashian on the cover, they decided to split the difference. Madison shares her bikini cover with Kim Kardashian. Kardasian’s picture doesn’t look recent, really; the only giveaway is the Botox Face of DOOM. I’ll assume Madison’s picture is actually new. The headline’s amusing: ‘Exclusive Unretouched Photos: We Have Cellulite, So What?’ Adding, for Madison, ‘After being called fat, Holly Madison declares, ‘I’m not perfect, but I love my body.” For Kardashian, it’s, ‘Unflattering photos lead Kim to admit, ‘I’ve lost weight and STILL have cellulite.” Madison’s eating in the image above. And she’s sucking her finger. I can’t. I just can’t. Confident enough to not be retouched, but not to go without the heavy make-up, she still looks pretty great. But, I thought that anyway. Lies&Style reach by calling her ‘brave’ for doing the shoot. But I’m not mad at her. ‘I’d rather be overweight and curvy than super thin with no curves,’ said Madison, 32, on Feb 21. ‘I’m proud of my body.’ She explains her weight gain, ‘After moving to Vegas [for Peep Show], I lived in a suite in Planet Hollywood for a year and ordered room service all the time,’ she said. ‘I like food too much to go on some crazy diet. French fries are my favorite downfall.’ She was then told by the Peep Show choreographer to lose weight. ‘Once I realized that other people were noticing that I’d packed on a few [pounds], I was embarrassed to go onstage.’ Oh, I remember now. There’s video of her talking about that here. Star has an idiotic cellulite cover, shown below, with year-old pictures of ‘fat’ celebrities. Lord.
- KHLOE K LOSING TOO MUCH WEIGHT? - Fishwrapper
- Jennifer Aniston Needs To Wear Bras - Lainey Gossip
- Eva Longoria Accidentally Flashed Her Goods - TooFab
- Jennifer Aniston Strips: Shocking Video - Fishwrapper
- Miley Cyrus Is Posing Almost Naked - Hollywood PQ
- KIM K CRYING OVER PREGNANCY!!! - TooFab
- Truth About Cheating Kristen Stewart - Lainey Gossip
- Amanda Bynes: Where Did It Go Wrong? - TooFab
Bethenny Frankel wants to remind you that she still goes to the gym, and works on her glutes, even though she’s had one of those baby things. Frankel, who gave birth to daughter Bryn Casey Hoppy on May 8, 2010, was photographed spending time at the beach with her family. Well, not so much with the bothersome husband and baby as they would have distracted from her triceps. But, she did spend some much-needed quality time with her bikini. And her hat. And photographers. Frankel and her bikini can be seen on Miami Beach, Florida.
Leighton Meester shared the above bikini picture on Twitter because derivative movies released on slow weeks don’t sell themselves, they’re sold by the vaguely sunburn breasts of people acting in those films. At least, I’m guessing that’s how Meester’s movie, The Roommate, has done so well at the weekend box office.
Meester’s bikini is cute and she’s got a really healthy, hourglass shape to her that I wasn’t expecting. I think her healthy lobster glow caught my eye enough to make these worth posting. Lesbianism and Minka Kelly groping her face are missing from the picture, which is almost odd after seeing the two joined at the hip during the movie’s promotion. And in Kelly’s place are non-famous people.
The title ‘Audrina Patridge’s Bongos For Bongo (I Hate Myself)’ was already taken, so I had to leave out my usual introductory titty jokes. That made me sad. As did the pictures themselves. There’s always room for titty jokes and euphemisms and now I don’t get to make jokes about funbags/ bongos because some funny a$$hole beat me to it. I guess that’s what I get for daring to nap. F**K YOU, NAP TIME. F**K YOU. Where was I? Oh, yes. Navigating around jokes about Audrina Patridge’s clavicle, let’s address the Photoshop in these pictures.
I’m not seeing things; nor am I the only person to notice. Jezebel.com makes a point in their post, ‘Audrina Photoshopped To Look Less Bony.’ Pretty much nailed it, right there. Bongo defined her abs and took away some of the sinewy/ ropey goodness that makes Patridge… Patridge. Oh, I don’t know what ‘Bongo’ is. But I glean, from not Googling it, that it has something to do with breasts.