Posts Tagged ‘Beyonce Knowles’

There are a bunch of random Beyonce updates that I’m shoehorning in since the couple has decided to have relationship diarrhea of the mouth after years of silence and it’s a little overwhelming. The couple who never really acknowledged dating nor marrying just issued a statement about the birth of their pillow, which I’m going to start calling a baby now since no one’s been seen carrying Bed Bath & Beyond products into the couple’s home. The statement’s an overlong over-share, in which Beyonce denies claims of a scheduled C-section, or any C-section, insisting she had a vaginal birth: ‘We are happy to announce the arrival of our beautiful daughter, Blue Ivy Carter, born on Saturday, January 7, 2012. Her birth was emotional and extremely peaceful; we are in heaven.’ They continue, ‘She was delivered naturally at a healthy 7 lbs. It was the best experience of both of our lives. We are thankful to everyone for all your prayers, well wishes, love and support.’ A rep from Lenox Hill Hospital, Executive Director Frank Danza, denies the couple c**ckblocked other parents: ‘The suggestion that the couple paid $1.3 million to rent an entire maternity floor is simply not true. The family is housed in an executive suite at the hospital and is being billed the standard rate for those accommodations. Our executive suites are available for any patient, including the food service and amenities provided to the Carter family. We have made every effort to ensure minimal disruption to other families experiencing the births of their own children over the past three days. No security plan that we or the Carters’ security team put in place would have prevented or delayed families from gaining access to the NICU, and to date, no families have complained to the hospital about being denied access to the NICU.’ Related news, Jay-Z strongly suggests Beyonce had a miscarriage before becoming pregnant with Blue Ivy (Blue as in his albums, IV as in four, you all point out). Jay-Z released a song called GLORY on his site and it’s featuring B.I.C, Blue Ivy Carter, as in her first ever cries. I MEHed, I gather you all like the song? Some lyrics: ‘False alarms and false starts, All made better by the sound of your heart, All the pain of the last time, I prayed so hard it was the last time. Last time the miscarriage was so tragic, We was afraid you’d disappear, Naw baby you magic.’

Beyonce’s baby, Blue Ivy Carter, who I’m going to call Hypoallergenic Carter until I see photos of mother and baby, is more important that you. She’s so important she needed a private suite/ wing and private security at New York’s Lennox Hill Hospital, for which her parents paid a reported $1.3 million to seal and redecorate, just to be excised from the womb of the surrogate/ random/ now-dead homeless person/ Beyonce/ whomever was really preggo with her. Neil Coulon, 38, of Brooklyn, complained to the New York Daily News that the security around Beyonce’s fourth-floor rented suite caused a disruption with patients. They allegedly stopped Coulon from visiting his wife and premature twin daughters. Coulon claims security made his relatives leave the waiting room and: ‘three times they stopped me from entering or exiting the Neo-natal Intensive Care Unit and it happened once on Friday [when Beyonce checked in] just because they wanted to use the hallway… They should have been more strategic about it. These are children with problems in intensive care and you’re just going to take over the hospital like you own it? All I want is an apology.’ The hospital was complicit in the security theater, notes TMZ.com: ‘the hospital held a meeting leading up to the delivery to discuss a security plan for the birth. The meeting between executives and security was held Friday afternoon and strict security was in place almost immediately, preparing for Beyonce’s delivery.’

As reported earlier, Beyonce’s pillow was excised by scheduled C-section Saturday evening in New York City. However, because of the rush to report the story, there has been some confusion over the baby name (I read Houston Chronicle, Global Grind, E!, People, TMZ, New York Daily News, Page Six, and Daily Mail before posting… and with two choices I went with TMZ.com’s report of Ivy Blue). However, the pillow’s name was transposed by TMZ, as reader Danielle pointed out. Gwyneth Paltrow clarifies on Twitter, the baby’s name is ‘Blue Ivy Carter.’ Not Ivy Blue Carter, not Hypoallergenic Carter, not Tiana May Carter.

Going on multiple reports, following last week’s fabricated rumours that were nothing but one big Twitter MadLib (then copy&pasted by people with nothing else to go on, including the fabricated, budget baby name), it would appear Beyonce has delivered her pillow. Following last week’s lies, Beyonce covered her pillow with a few layers and went for a walk that raised more questions than it answered (my photo agency called mid-week photos ‘exclusive’ proof Beyonce was still preggo, but you couldn’t see her stomach). And now E! Online has a baby name: Blue Ivy Carter, which appears to be transposed by some outlets as Ivy Blue. The Houston Chronicle says Beyonce gave birth to a girl on Saturday evening in New York City by scheduled C-section. According to the New York Daily News, staff say the couple rented a fourth floor suite at New York’s Lennox Hill Hospital on the Upper East Side, for $1.3 million, Friday night under the name ‘Ingrid Jackson.’ The floor was also guarded by private security. New York Daily News adds: ‘After 11 p.m., even doctors and nurses were barred from entering the fourth floor, prompting one doc to complain that he had patients to see.  In an effort to keep images from leaking to the public, hospital workers placed tape over security cameras and are forcing employees to turn in cell phones when they arrive for their shifts.’ Sources tell The Houston Chronicle, mother and pillow are fine. Rihanna and Russell Simmons confirmed the birth by writing these tweets.

There are two blind items circulating at the moment that feel rather random and wild, but I’m paying them lip service because of the months of pillow mystery and indecisive due dates. Recently, Beyonce was photographed around NYC looking preggo in the face and neck because eating too much ice cream is the best way to expedite a pillow. She looks rounder, from the neck up. Sometimes she double-stuffs, sometimes not. And she appears to be making up her due-date on the spot, depending on who’s asking. Well, there’s a blind item that could relate to her weight gain. Maybe. Here’s the first blind item: ‘Just a few weeks to go. There’s one problem, though. She was looking too thin to be convincing. Thankfully, she found a solution… It’s called Prednisone. [A] side effect is gaining weight, especially in the face and neck and abdomen. She knew this, because it happened to her before. Last time it was accidental… Now, though, it’s purposeful… She started taking Prednisone a couple of months ago… Fat face and neck coming right up! She not worried, though, because she’s been told that the weight will drop quickly once she tapers down below 10 mg a day. Followed, of course, by claims of how hard she worked to take off the weight.’ That explains the pillow face of mystery. Page Six is chiming in too. Reportedly, Beyonce is due any day now: ’St. Luke’s Hospital was reportedly on high alert last night, piquing suspicion that Beyoncé might give birth there.’ So, her pillow will be FedExed to St Luke’s then she can stop taking her pills and pretend to slim?

Above is a photo taken December 21 on a store’s security camera by staff.