Surprising no one who’s seen a bikini picture on the Internet in the past 10 years, you’re going to need some Photoshop before you can fit into Beyonce’s new bikinis for H&M. At least I think that’s Beyonce. It could be 3D printed Beyonce in spray on bikinis because what the heck else is going on with her bikini bottoms?
The magazine seems to have Photoshopped at least one Boom out of Uncle Terry’s Boom Boom Room, but Beyonce is still posing like this on the cover of British Vogue on which someone also seems to have Photoshopped away her boobs. Asked whether she considers herself a feminist, she says this: ‘ That word can be very extreme… But I guess I am a modern-day feminist. I do believe in equality. Why do you have to choose what type of woman you are? Why do you have to label yourself anything? I’m just a woman and I love being a woman.’
When FedEx delivered a bag of flour in the shape of a baby to the hospital where Beyonce ‘gave birth,’ she took a picture of that bag of flour that somehow had Ashanti’s face and Rihanna’s old hair. But whomever’s kid this is now has Jay-Z’s face because whatever happens after the delivery isn’t on FedEx anymore, it’s on you. Here’s an Instagram photo of Blue Ivy with Blue Ivy’s Mother.
With his hand prints in cement right outside the Kris Jenner School of Pimping out Your Kids, Mathew Knowles is the OG of bartering a reasonable price for your kids’ souls (TWOFER!). So of course here he is lamenting trading in his solid gold toilet seat for a gold plated one in a British tabloid. Knowles, 62, found it ‘incredibly painful’ to end his business relationship with Beyonce: ‘It was hard for me to let her go… it was hard for both of us to let each other go. And let’s be clear on that. She didn’t let me go, we both let each other go. That’s a big difference. This was not a normal ending of a business agreement. This was a dad and a daughter and it was incredibly painful and it had some difficulties.’
Back when Michelle Williams was ruining the Super Bowl for everyone, R&B singer-songwriter Keyshia Cole called out the Destiny’s Child member for ‘f**king the groove up.’ As it turns out, the apathy isn’t just directed at Grandma Williams. On Monday, Cole reacted to the title of Beyonce’s latest single, ‘Bow Down,’ writing ‘Can’t stand when people all self righteous when it’s convenient it makes them look good. Lmao! But can still talk shit when convenient 2 FOH.’ Unrelenting, telling the truth so you don’t have to, Cole added, ‘First ‘Women need to Stick together’ now bitches better Bow. Smh. But it’s all G! Chicks stay shooting the shit. But when I speak my mind its a prob. #Well #StayMad’
We got a good enough look at Beyonce through Terry Richardson’s lens it became immediately apparent she never had that rumoured C-section. No longer having to wear actual clothes indoors because what is this Nazi Germany, Beyonce is in another bikini talking about the sympathy weight she gained while the surrogate was pregnant. Or she was pregnant. Whatever. She talks weight loss, below.
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