Beyonce and Jay-Z have taken the unusual step of releasing the first photos of Blue Ivy Carter last thing on a Friday (when I’m literally getting ready for bed since I quit this b**ch hours ago). But The Notorious B.I.C. cares not about my jammies nor my sleepy bye byes. So her parents shared the [...]
Posts Tagged ‘Beyonce Knowles’
GOOP Bought BOOP’s Baby An $880 Stroller
Gwyneth Paltrow bought a stroller for The Notorious B.I.C. because now there’s a second person subscribed to the GOOP newsletter (I recommend B.I.C. start on that colon cleanse thing because she’s probably pooping the wrong way). According to Us Weekly, GOOP gave BOOP an $880 all-black Cameleon stroller by Bugaboo because the hand-me-down $30 stroller I sent [...]
The Notorious B.I.C. Will Be A Household Name
This comes from the British tabloids but I’m running with it because I enjoy updates about the Notorious B.I.C.. Blue Ivy Carter, whose incubator has been returned to factory settings, will be a household name in the near future (ignoring the fact she’s already the youngest person in history to enter the Billboard charts with [...]
The First Photos Of Beyonce’s Post-Baby Body
The vessel that made The Notorious B.I.C has been restored to factory settings exactly one month after giving birth. This is… unexpected. I assumed that Beyonce would remain in hiding for another month or so, using the time to work out. She didn’t need the help, per se. But she was super preggo in the face, as [...]
Star Fabricated Beyonce Post-Baby Interview?
In news that will shock no one, the interview that’s been making the rounds today, by people who copy pasta first and ask questions later, is fake. I deigned to skim-read it, and I glean the UK’s edition of tabloid Star claimed to have an exclusive interview with Beyonce about Blue Ivy Carter in what [...]
Blue Ivy Carter Is More Successful Than You
Blue Ivy Carter, the Notorious B.I.C., is already more successful than you. While I wait on the receipts for the birth of she and Khloe Kardashian (since we’re doing the paternity dance again), let’s paw over today’s B.I.C updates. First, Jay-Z’s song, Glory, that I still haven’t listened to all the way through because it bored [...]
