Amy Grindhouse Rotating Header Image

Posts Tagged ‘Beyonce Knowles’

Beyonce Addresses The Pillow Conspiracies

Beyonce tells People Magazine it’s ridiculous to think The Notorious Blue Ivy Carter fell out of anyone else’s vagina, because no peasant would be worthy of bearing such royalty. During the pregnancy, there were rumours that Beyonce double-stuffed with man-made fibres while sticking out a carb paunch. About which Beyonce is still fuming, because her belly was full of baby not full of lies.

She tells People: ‘That was crazy. It wasn’t hurtful, it was just crazy. [I thought] ‘Where did they come up with this?’ Her own mother, Tina Knowles, adds of surrogacy rumours: ‘I thought it was very unfair and very cruel that someone would think that someone would be that diabolical to keep up a charade like that for nine months. As a mother it was painful for me to hear the crazy rumors. And I even had people ask me, which was so ridiculous.’ Asked about one of the pillows deflating, the 58-year-old continued: ‘It was a fabric that folded; does fabric not fold? Oh my gosh, so stupid. [But] there was so much love and well wishes from all over the world, it made it easier to deal with the stupid rumors.’

Beyonce Named People’s Most Beautiful Woman

Beyonce covers People Magazine this week, as The World’s Most Beautiful Woman Who Might Have Birthed Blue Ivy Carter Unless She Didn’t In Which Case This Cover Reverts To Lily Collins’ Eyebrows. This is where Beyonce takes over from Jennifer Lopez. With the magazine seemingly picking random women, rather than those who’ve been tabloid-relevant and beautiful at the same time. It’s a random cover, afforded someone who’s rarely on the cover, given a cover because she became a mother. It’s the World’s Most Beautiful Mother of Blue Ivy Carter 2012. I’d call it a pity cover, if this were anyone else. In any case, Beyonce gives an exclusive interview in which she conceived out of narcissism and sees B.I.C. as a trophy, a literal F**k Trophy ™: ’I feel more beautiful than I’ve ever felt because I’ve given birth. I have never felt so connected, never felt like I had such a purpose on this earth. The best thing about having a daughter is having a true legacy. The word love means something completely different now.’

So… Beyonce Is An Olsen Twin Now, Right?

Here’s Beyonce walking around New York City April 18, coddling her iPad like its The Notorious B.I.C.. I’m only posting these because I need to know what’s going on with Beyonce’s dress sense since becoming a mother. I’m not the only one to notice. It’s a pants thing. Bad pants, man. Anyway, I’m going to call those leggings pants because I’ve lost all sense of what another adult would call ‘pants’ being that I stopped wearing them for work years ago (do jorts count?)

(more…)

Beyonce Looks Great Under That Shapewear

Looking great under what I assume is layers of shapewear, here’s the receptacle that carried The Notorious Blue Ivy Carter for nine-months unless none of that happened and Beyonce’s the same size as before because she carried a pillow and taking it off is the quickest way to lose the fake baby weight. Seen here in a navy Victoria Beckham dress, these are some photos of Beyonce, after ‘giving birth’ on January 7, with husband Jay-Z following as they left dinner at NOBU in New York City March 19 after the Obama 2012 fundraiser at the Greenwich Hotel.

Beyonce Breastfeeds Blue Ivy Carter In Public

Beyonce has reportedly been breastfeeding in public according to rubberneckers who need to keep their eyes on their plates. Beyonce and Jay-Z took Blue Ivy Carter with them to lunch at Sant Ambroeus in NYC’s West Village on Saturday. Onlookers report that Beyonce nursed the newborn at the table. Two other random sources who were probably staring confirm she’s breastfeeding. I guess that’s why B.I.C. was swaddled like that in the leopard print Baby Bjorn scarf.

(more…)

The Notorious B.I.C. Taking Beyonce For A Walk

The Notorious B.I.C., a.k.a. Blue Ivy Carter, had a busy weekend taking her mother for walks around New York City (here are older photos of her on Friday, wrapped in a blanket). Above is a new photo of mother and baby in NYC, Sunday. Assuming that’s a baby, since goodness knows how she’s breathing in there.

(more…)