The one with the weird hairline from the Real Housewives of New Jersey is going to need to register for some gaudy overpriced trinkets to furnish her cell if she ever gets convicted on new charges. Teresa and husband Joe Giudice were indicted yesterday, accused of 39 counts of bank fraud and tax evasion. Basically, they committed fraud on a grand scale so they could spend beyond their means to impress people they don’t really like. According to U.S. Attorney Paul J. Fishman, these counts include ‘conspiracy to commit mail and wire fraud, bank fraud, making false statements on loan applications and bankruptcy fraud.’ They also ‘lied to the IRS, bankruptcy court, and a number of banks as they illegally obtained mortgages and other loans, hid assets and income, and attempted to defraud lenders.’ Joe also didn’t pay his taxes for, like, four whole years. So there’s that too. If convicted, the couple faces up to 50 years in prison each.