Described as sexual napalm by douche-tastic John Mayer, Jessica Simpson covers the March 2010 issue of Allure. The singer discusses her body, her weight, and her ass-tastic relationship with Mayer. She neglects to use the words douche or ass so I had to shoehorn that in, on her behalf. Nowhere do I see any mention of why little miss sexual napalm needs so much Photoshopping. Surely, if she were that dynamite, she could have walked onto the Allure set wearing a turtleneck and a ski mask and still knocked that shoot out of the park. It seems not. The photos have been rubbed with bacon fat and lies. Heavy on the lies.
Her interview and the rest of her photo shoot can be found below.
- On weight: “When I walk through an airport and people go, ‘You’re not fat!’ I’m like, ‘Thanks. Thanks. That’s great. Good to know I’m not fat today. Thank you!’ “My job is to be creative. And I’m not weighing in for anybody.”
- On how she’ll date pretty much anybody: “I definitely will marry an artistic man. It will show you the colors of my character, the person that I fall in love with next. I don’t even have a type! I don’t have a physical type. I have an emotional type. When you have yourself together, I don’t care what you look like at all. You can be tall; you can be short.”
- On nudity: “I don’t care how dark and intellectual the role could be, you know? I don’t care if I frickin’ get an Oscar for it, I’m not going to do it. Those accolades mean nothing to me….I don’t think people deserve to see what’s underneath my clothing. That’s only for my next husband–ha ha ha!”
- On being herself: “I don’t care if the cameras are on or not, you’re going to get the real me. There’s no reason to mask that, because that’s what has given me the chance to be in a powerful position.”
Image credit to Allure March 2010, via The Superficial, ONTD, Superior Pics.
OLD PHOTOS form Allure…about 5 years ago?
Hi Wenidog.
With regard to outtakes of these pictures, their website says the following:
… so I guess they’re not hiding it.