Scarlett Johansson Soothes You With Shill Booze

Scarlett Johansson was also asked to the marine corps ball with an invitation on YouTube, because apparently there was a line to use the camera and everyone got their turn. NO CUTS! Johansson’s suitor was Sergeant Dustin L. Williams who spoke to Zap2It about his invitation and whether he thought Johansson would attend, ‘If I was told she could not attend, I would understand. I would not believe the invitation would be denied without good cause. With her current career I would imagine Scarlett Johansson is a busy woman.’ Translation, ‘I’m owed A-list p**sy, at least. Because the words Bad A$$ and POW! are in my job title. How do you like them apples?’ Well, Johansson somehow turned Williams down. You know, because that’s her prerogative and she probably didn’t feel like trying to get out of contractual commitments made months in advance. As a consolation prize, she sent a crate of booze she was probably given free by the brand for whom she shills. Pity booze she probably didn’t even pay for? WIN! Oh, there’s a statement too, ‘I feel incredibly honored to have been invited to the Marine Corps Ball by Sgt. Dustin L. Williams. Not only does Sgt. Williams deserve recognition for his bravery, selflessness and dedication to the United States and its people, but he also displays a cheeky talent for film making. Sgt. Williams, unfortunately due to prior commitments I will not be able to attend the Ball with you this year but I am sending you a case of Moet and Chandon with gratitude. In my absence, I raise a glass to you and all the men and women of the U.S. Marine Corps, past and present, in thanks for your continued commitment to preserving the safety of our nation.’ More shill booze promo pictures and the invite below.