I’m going to go out on a limb and say it’s pretty unlikely this week’s reports of Scarlett Johansson moving in with the man with whom she’s d**kmatized are true. I know, I know, weirder things have happened in a world where Rod Stewart is the grandfather of Benicio del Toro’s baby. But something about the story from Us Weekly kind of stinks to me. I’ve caught them making some things up before and their sources aren’t as reliable as, say People.com. But this is interesting as they’re really trying to make every aspect of the f**kship happen. Like, ‘They’re not expecting a baby, but they’ve moved from sleeping together to living together… progress!’ Johansson’s apparently moved from her temporary home in a West Hollywood hotel, to further pursue a relationship of three months; a relationship that sparked baby rumours that made no sense since, unless she’s Kelly Brook, she wouldn’t be showing so soon after becoming knocked up, unless she became pregnant on the first date. According to Us Weekly’s sources, she’d ‘essentially moved in over the last few weeks.’ What now? ‘Essentially moved in.’ She either lives there or she doesn’t. Moreover, it’s either ‘their house,’ or not. Surely? One’s toothbrush does not denote dibs on someone else’s bathroom. After the week I’ve had/ I’m having… I just can’t. Um, tits or GTFO, Johansson.