Paris Hilton Has Grand Plans for Ronaldo

Paris Hilton believes that herself and her new partner in venereal disease, Cristiano Ronaldo, could be the most famous super couple in the world, if they stayed paired up. This is a pretty wide-reaching assumption of course, as it is incumbent on Parasite not being eaten alive by crotch-rot and her tanned beau not drowning in his own hair grease.

As for the recent Cristiano Ronaldo club hookup, Paris allegedly told the soccer stud, “We could be great together, you know. We’re both so famous we’d become even bigger than David Beckham and Posh Spice. We’re way hotter and younger than them anyway!” (via Celebrity Gossip)