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Lynne Spears Wins EPIC Fail Mother 2008

Lynne Spears Wins EPIC Fail Mother 2008

Fooking hell, I am spending too much time writing about this woman today!

Why must the retelling of the cause of Britney Spearsbreakdown be so enthralling? [Website – Amy Grindhouse]

Mother of ‘The Cheeto’, Lynne Spears, is set to release a tell-all book, entitled ‘Throught The Storm’, 16 Septmeber.

But unfortunately for Lynne, major details of the book have been leaked to the media, that make her look like EPIC fail mother of the year!

Lynne Spears claims Britney was drinking not long after joining joined Disney’s Mickey Mouse Club, a U.S. variety television show.

Mrs Spears also says her daughter lost her virginity aged 14 to an 18-year-old high school football player soon after she quit the programme.

A source has told how Britney was dating the football star while at school, and how her mother encouraged the relationship because she thought it would make her more popular.

The budding singer spent a lot of time at her boyfriend’s house and eventually lost her virginity there.

Her mother later admitted she regretted allowing her to date an older boy but still allowed her to share her bedroom with new boyfriend, Justin Timberlake.

Mrs Spears was said to be sure the teenagers were having sex.

She did not raise any objections because she thought Britney was in love and Justin was good for her.

The book also reveals that she knew Britney, then 15, was experimenting with drugs when she went to Los Angeles to record her breakthrough album ‘Baby One More Time’.

She thought she was going through the typical teenage problems, but they seemed to be more than that, when the singer was allegedly caught boarding a private plane aged 16, cocaine and marijuana was found in her bag.

Britney was caught by her mother drinking alcohol as young as 13 but she reportedly didn’t mind her children drinking as long as she was there.

She appeared to have little control over her daughter’s party lifestyle, and by the age of 16, Britney was frequenting bars in New Orleans with her brother Bryan, who is five years older than her.

Brit Brit had no chance to grow up to be a normal adult, with a childhood like that.

Nor did I, for that matter.

Funny story, I had near the exact same childhood…

From ages 4 and up, it was all drink, drugs and rock and roll (lols). That’s how I turned into the sterling person I am today ;)

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The Cheeto Cometh: Britney Opening The VMAs

The Cheeto Cometh: Britney Opening The VMAs

According to multiple reports today, Brit Brit ‘The Cheeto’ Spears will be appearing at the MTV VMA’s, this Sunday [Website – Amy Grindhouse].

The star is not thought to be performing, but making a personal appearence and perhaps doing some form of skit.

She says in a statement:

“MTV has long played an important role in my career. How can I not be there to kick off their 25th VMAs?” Spears tells PEOPLE in a statement. “I’m excited to open the entire show, to say hi to my fans and to be nominated.”

Adds MTV Networks Music President Van Toffler:

Britney has done everything from perform with a snake, lock lips with Madonna and prove that what happens in Vegas doesn’t always stay in Vegas,” he says, referring to her lackluster performance at the awards show in Sin City last year. “I can’t wait to see what she does to kick off this year’s show.”

Click here for an MTV VMA Britney retrospective

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Jessica Simpson Has Finally Given Up

Jessica Simpson Has Finally Given Up

Jessica Simpson really needs to stop giving inane soundbites [Website – Amy Grindhouse].

In this latest incident, Chesty-ca Simpson has given the world an insight into how she feels about her relationship with beau, Tony Romo.

According to Star, Simpson has given Romo the nickname ‘FBD’, which allegedly stands for ‘Future Baby Daddy’.

Um, yeah.

A woman who waited over two decades to have sex after marriage, now has no hope but to be impregnated, out of wedlock, by her closet-case BF!

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Britney Spears Is Finally Self-Aware

Britney Spears leaving Pottery Barn
Image details: Britney Spears leaving Pottery Barn served by picapp.com

Britney Spears is finally both sober and self-aware enough to have the following epiphany [Website – Amy Grindhouse]:

“My father saved my life. I probably wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for him. I’ve not always been a good daughter; but he basically gave up his job and his life to look after me at a time when I wasn’t even sure I wanted to go on living. I owe him my life.”

[Quote via INO]

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L’Eau De Tranny Clown

Christina Aguilera’s boobs are disturbing [Website – Amy Grindhouse]. Chrissy and her veiny mom-boobies were at Macy’s in NYC, yesterday to promote her new perfume ‘Inspire’. Let’s examine all the different kinds of hot-tranny-mess ™ going on in this :
  • Tranny clow make up – $0.05
  • Cotton candy coloured nails – $5.00
  • Over bleached hair – $100
  • Streaky perma-tan – $10
  • Ill fitting dress – $200
  • Glazed eyes and bored expression – priceless
Macy's Herald Square Welcomes Christina Aguilera Image details: Macy’s Herald Square Welcomes Christina Aguilera served by picapp.com

Macy's Herald Square Welcomes Christina Aguilera
Image details: Macy’s Herald Square Welcomes Christina Aguilera served by picapp.com

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