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Kris Humphries Probably Isn’t Extorting His Wife

Still legally-married because MONIES, here’s an interim update on the divorce of Kim Kardashian from Kris Humphries to balance some of the annoying smearing that’s been going on. Pro-Kardashian mouthpieces like Us Weekly, who went on the couple’s honeymoon to take photos and got the exclusive for Kourtney’s preggo reveal, are claiming Kardashian’s life is ‘hell’ during this divorce. Probably because she’s somewhat limited in the ways she can play it for money/ publicity/ attention. And most pro-Kardashian outlets have been smearing Humphries since the previews of Kourtney & Kim Take New York, claiming that Humphries is a slow opportunist which is mean because they’re only half right.

Humphries makes $8 million a year in the NBA but her pimps at E! and mouthpieces like TMZ claim Humphries is basically playing hardball and trying to extort money by waiting his estranged wife out until she’s desperate enough to pay the reported $7 million settlement that supposedly includes a gag-clause. He had his lawyer talk to Lies&Style. And now, it seems, more-sympathetic RadarOnline.com is countering the smearing with a story about how Humphries is probably done with any negotiaiton because it wouldn’t be worth ruining his name in the tabloids: ‘Kris is furious about reports that he is making Kim’s life hell…. he won’t be bullied by her anymore. Kris has told his lawyer to no longer attempt to reach a settlement with Kim… he is ready to take this to trial, and he will. A judge can decide if the marriage should be annulled on grounds of fraud. Kris’ name has been trashed in the press by Kim’s camp… and he has the right to fight back, but he isn’t doing it the way she is. He will have his day in court.’

In semi-related news, someone made Wook wear a tarp for this new Kardashian ad where surprisingly some of the only Photoshop is Kourtney’s baby bump.

Lindsay Lohan Still Has Pesky Criminal Record

The work is slowly beginning to trickle in again for Lindsay Lohan, whose friends had to beg her to calm down because she’d been risking her freedom by partying and leaving the house. Except she kept going out and there are photos of Lohan partying the night that story broke and it seemed she’d fall at the final hurdle hours before she came off formal probation for the first time in four-years.

Her mouthpieces at TMZ.com have been extra pro-Lohan as the Thursday court date approaches and she’s freed of responsibility after seeking therapy and completing community service. Except coming off probation is incidental when her extensive criminal record, including a two DUIs and a theft, preclude her from seeking work in other countries as it may with the Elizabeth Taylor biopic she shilled for months with the help of her mouthpieces and photos by Uncle Terry’s Molest-o-vision. It’s reported that Lohan is having trouble obtaining a work permit for Canada where Lifetime’s Liz & Dick will be shooting in a few weeks. That said, if she doesn’t kill anyone in the next 12-hours, her lawyer will probably be able to beg for a permit so Lohan can work in Toronto in April.

Michelle Williams & Jason Segel Are In Love

LinksPicture

  • Lainey was right, Michelle Williams is dating Jason Segal [Lainey Gossip]
  • Evan Rachel Wood and Jamie Bell are probably married [Hollywood PQ]
  • Raven-Symone debuts short hair in addition to emaciated frame [TooFab]
  • Kim Kardashian photographed leaving botox doctor’s office [Celebitchy]
  • Report: Megan Fox is possibly pregnant with her first child [Hollywoodite]
  • Suri Cruise offered huge fashion endorsement deal and $$$ [Celeb Edge]
  • Katy Perry tweeted a photo with that model she’s ‘not dating’ [Evil Beet]
  • Kate Winslet needs a better bra to hold up her balcony [IDLYITW]
  • RHONY Bethenny Frankel’s husband Jason Hoppy moves out [Starcasm]
  • Has Jessica Simpson gained too much weight? [The Celebrity News Blog]
  • Jessica Simpson will be spending $2 million on her birth [Right Celebrity]
  • Janice Dickinson has harsh words for Kim Kardashian [The Celebrity Cafe]
  • Dawson’s Creek’s James Van Der Beek loves his BJs [Seriously OMG]
  • The Hunger Games as told by cats, better than the movie [Tabloid Prodigy]
  • Job offer: would you like to be Vanessa Hudgens’ butt pap? [INF Daily]

Megan Fox Wouldn’t Trade With An Ugly Girl

Megan Fox poses for Jalouse Magazine April 2012, as some kind of 80s socialite who moonlights as a world-weary hooker clown in a photo shoot that’s below along with the revelation that she loves being beautiful and would never trade places with an uggo: ‘…I would not trade places with an unattractive girl.’

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Photos Of Charlize Theron With Baby Jackson

Because Charlize Theron has a bunch of films to promote too (Lainey surmises the timing of the adoption reveal is a power play), here she is holding Jackson during errands yesterday. This is the first time Theron has been out with her African America four-month-old domestically-adopted son. So, to be clear, the photos you saw of her holding a random White baby on other sites were of someone else’s kid (she held a random kid in January and some conjectured it was hers although her son’s a different race). You can’t see his face, but as the SWATH/ Prometheus release dates near she’ll become less camera-shy with him.

Photos of Theron at a West Hollywood post office getting a passport for her son.

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Alicia Silverstone Feeding Bear From Her Mouth

There was no title I could have given this that wouldn’t have been ludicrous, since it’s a post about Alicia Silverstone bird-like vomming in her kid’s mouth and that kid is called Bear Blu. I don’t know if this is a thing, like daily placenta pills, since I’m nulliparous, but Silverstone can be seen in this video posted to her site chewing food and spitting it in her baby’s mouth. I’m going to side-step some inappropriate jokes and just ask the mom readers if they do this too?

This has a bunch of downvotes on YouTube and the actress says of the practice: ‘I just had a delicious breakfast of miso soup, collards and radish steamed and drizzled with flax oil, cast iron mochi with nori wrapped outside, and some grated daikon. Yum! I fed Bear the mochi and a tiny bit of veggies from the soup…from my mouth to his. It’s his favorite…and mine. He literally crawls across the room to attack my mouth if I’m eating. This video was taken about a month or 2 ago when he was a bit wobbly. Now he is grabbing my mouth to get the food!’