Gwyneth Paltrow bought a stroller for The Notorious B.I.C. because now there’s a second person subscribed to the GOOP newsletter (I recommend B.I.C. start on that colon cleanse thing because she’s probably pooping the wrong way). According to Us Weekly, GOOP gave BOOP an $880 all-black Cameleon stroller by Bugaboo because the hand-me-down $30 stroller I sent her off Craigslist wasn’t fancy enough. Two photos of BOOP after being returned to factory settings.
Here’s Kristin Cavallari parading around the happy accident that trapped Jay Cutler. What you can’t see is the layer of bubblewrap around Cavallari’s mid-section protecting her insurance policy. There’s GOLD in that there uterus. 8 photos of Cavallari’s precious break-up OOPS, swaddled in an ill-fitting onesie.
Kris Humphries asked that his divorce proceedings be broadcast on television so Kim Kardashian’s fraud could be exposed by third-parties over which she and pimp momager could not exert editorial control in the form of biased edits and re-shoots. The next day, Kardashian leaked her own story to a competing website claiming that she’s never going to let cameras in. Probably because she can’t pocket ad revenue from the hearings as she did in her sham wedding for which she took a 30% cut of all ad sales. There’s a follow-up story on RadarOnline.com claiming that Humphries will use the fake car ride in Dubai as proof that Kardashian pulled shenanigans (she filmed scenes after filing for divorce to make herself look better and faked scenes crying with family that sounded scripted). ‘Kris feels that if this is true and the whole conversation was faked, this would help prove that he got married under fraudulent circumstances,’ says the source. ‘Yes, [the scene was filmed] after the [filing], but this is one clear example that could help sway the judge to grant the divorce on the grounds of fraud.’
In more baby news that never happened, this week’s Star is increasingly-committed to its yarn that Jennifer Aniston’s womb is ‘Ocupadas’ with what they’re probably going to reveal is Brad Pitt’s frozen sperm baby in a twist directed by M. Night Shyamalan the same magazine used already. Star is claiming as fact, without relying on the rewording of ambiguous source accounts, that Aniston is six-months preggo with twins; one boy, one girl. The cover shows her house and a bunch of random baby products an intern got from Google Images.
Earlier this week, RadarOnline.com and E! Online reported that Demi Moore entered a glorified spa at which one can rehab, Cirque Lodge center in Utah, for treatment of anorexia and drug issues. Except, TMZ.com published a frustratingly-sparse story denying that Moore was there at all: ‘There have been multiple reports by various outlets Demi Moore is getting treatment at the famous Cirque Lodge in Orem, Utah. [However] TMZ has confirmed with multiple sources familiar with the situation that Demi Moore is not at Cirque Lodge.’
So, she’s probably not there. Except RadarOnline has published another report about how Moore’s not allowed to look at her weight at her weigh-ins during treatment for her eating disorder, that’s a commited work of creative fiction if untrue. ‘[She] wasn’t allowed to see her weight on the scale, and was weighed backwards because her treatment team doesn’t want her focused on how much she weighs,’ claimed the website. A source adds: ‘It’s common treatment practice at Cirque Lodge to not allow patients that are being treated for an eating disorder to see how much they weigh [but] their weights are taken everyday, sometimes several times a day [although] doctors at Cirque don’t want patients to fixate on their weight… Demi isn’t being forced fed or chastised for not wanting to eat though. People just say Demi should just eat something; well, if it were that easy, she would. She will likely stay at Cirque for at least 60 days.’
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