Lynne Spears a.k.a. Fail Momma stopped by The Today Show for an interview with Meredith Vieira about her fail memoirs ‘Through the Storm: A Real Story of Fame and Family in a Tabloid World’ [Website – Amy Grindhouse].
Momma Cheeto gave a *gasp* coherent, frank and awe inspiringly wide-eyed account of just how daughter The Cheeto got ‘From there to here’, meaning from non ‘non-cheesy to cheesy’.
Says The Momma:
On Britney posing for Rolling Stone cover at 17:
“The Rolling Stone interview, we were so in awe. She’s just beginning. She’s just coming on the scene. We didn’t really know what we were doing. We were in shock at what was going on, and we were in awe. We didn’t have any choice in the pictures. We had no one that could tell us what we were supposed to be doing.”
On blaming herself for Britney’s meltdown:
“As a mother, don’t we always blame ourselves?” she asked Vieira rhetorically. “I took a lot of the blame. I took all the blame. The personality I have, it’s always my fault.”
On Jamie Lynn dropping the bomb:
She had been to the doctor that day and was planning to go out for lunch when Jamie Lynn called and told her to come home. Lynne arrived to find her daughter’s boyfriend, Casey Aldridge, there, even though he wasn’t allowed to visit on school days. Aldridge avoided eye contact, she said.
Jamie Lynn handed her mother a note and told her to go into her bedroom to read it. “It said she was pregnant and everything was going to be OK. She was going to raise it … I thought it was a joke. I was waiting for the punch line,” Lynne told Vieira.
“I was in shock. I think I was just truly in shock, and then I started to cry. And she started consoling me at that point.”
On the future of the Spears family:
“We’re through the storm and we’re looking at the sunshine right now.”
I don’t want to say Lynne just jinxed herself, but this just in: Britney Spears was found naked behind the counter of a Malibu Starbucks this morning. Upon opening the store, employees found Ms. Spears mumbling “I can’t quit you” while squirting caramel sauce into her mouth. Authorities say she used one of her children’s Power Wheels to drive through the glass door. Ms. Spears was adamant in pointing out that Jayden, 2, was behind the wheel and “gets like this after a few drinks.”
The f*ckers won’t embed properly for me. So please…
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