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Two GD Years Of Scientology Servitude, For Alien Queen Katie

Nov 18th, 2008
by Amy Grindhouse.
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HOORAH – Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise are ’celebrating’ their two year wedding anniversary today [Website – Amy Grindhouse].

… and by that, I mean, Katie-bot Holmes, alien queen of all the Thetans, celebrates TWO YEARS of Scientology servitude, while still being tied up in Tom Cruise’s basement… AWESOME!

Can you imagine two phucking years of being locked in the basement of the Scientology Centre, with no natural light to recharge your specially made solar-panels (Katie-bot is a CUSTOM job, Tom Crusie doesn’t shop at IKEA bitches!)?

I hope there is at least another 10 years left on Katie-bot’s warranty.

You know how those up-selling bastards try to phuck you over once you get to the cash register, “10-year warranty, costs 5 Cheetos, today only…” they say. Sounds like a steal. But don’t fall for it. Katie’s toofs are already rusting after using them to send Morse code S.O.S.’s to Saint Angelina.

[IMAGE CREDIT: Splash News Online]

AmyGrindhouse.com written by Amy Grindhouse © All rights reserved. When quoting, use excerpts with attribution only. Images, branding and original content should not be reproduced without prior permission.

Posted in: TomKat.
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Ashlee Simpson Not Giving Birth Just Yet

Nov 18th, 2008
by Amy Grindhouse.
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Ashlee Simpson-Wentz is attempting to pip Gwen Stefani in the world record for the world’s longest pregnancy [Website – Amy Grindhouse].

ASSlee got knocked up around the same time as my baby toofs fell out, which is, um… around three years ago. Her womb must be as hospitable as my blog-hovel (the hovel that I blog in). Seems the little blighter has made themselves a little too cosy and now has pitched a tent, warmed some cocoa and is refusing to shift!

CHESTYca Simpson opened her giant mouf (filled with her giant toofs) and gave away the following, according to People:

“They’re going to have to [induce]. It’s already developing really quick,” Jessica said Monday at a taping of the The Ellen DeGeneres Show.

Ashlee – described by husband Pete Wentz more than two weeks ago as due at any moment – has already tried other ways to begin labor.

“Different foot massages and stuff,” Jessica told DeGeneres in the show airing Wednesday. “I don’t know. I think she’s really just jumping around trying everything right now.”

Jumping around to get the baby to come out? Silly girl! Her GED is failing her badly. I know that ish is hard work, but a bit more effort and Chesty could have at least have come out of college being able to spell her own name. What kind of biology lessons did she have at school that taught ‘jumping’ as a good way to remove a dislodged baby? I do that sometimes when I have trouble pooping… works a treat. Poop yes, babies no! 

Shall we start a poll? Of all the illegality and wobbly morality on this blog, we always steered clear of gambling… until now.

ANY GUESSES WHAT THE BABY WILL WEIGH WHEN BORN?

[IMAGE CREDIT: Clint Brewer / Splash News]

AmyGrindhouse.com written by Amy Grindhouse © All rights reserved. When quoting, use excerpts with attribution only. Images, branding and original content should not be reproduced without prior permission.

Posted in: Ashlee Simpson-Wentz, Celebrity Babies.
Tagged: ·

Britney Spears ‘My Life Is Like Groundhog Day’

Nov 18th, 2008
by Amy Grindhouse.
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More teasers of Britney Spears’ new 90-minute special MTV celeb-umentary, entitled ‘Britney: For The Record’ have been released. CLICK below to watch [Website – Amy Grindhouse].

Britney Spears is a big girl now and after almost a year of being whipped into shape by her father, she is near deserving of being referred to by her real name, rather than my pet-name for her, Cheeto McGee.

Gather round, insert frappe drips on the count of three and cry Cheeto a freakin river!

Spears is being a Whiney Wendy, complaining during ”On The Cheeto” that she felt like a prisoner and that vagina-flashing and midnight Rite Aid runs were not enough to give add some excitement to her life. 

“There’s no excitement, there’s no passion. I have really good days, and then I have bad days.” Britney says in a new documentary.

“Even when you go to jail you know there’s the time when you’re gonna get out. But in this situation, it’s never ending. It’s just like Groundhog Day every day,” Brit added. 

“I think it’s too in control. If I wasn’t under the restraints I’m under, I’d feel so liberated. When I tell them the way I feel, it’s like they hear but they’re really not listening,” Britney said. “I never wanted to become one of those prisoner people. I always wanted to feel free,” she added.

Spears should thank her GD blessings.

Some of us have to make do with an outburst of the church-giggles at an inopportune moment or Starbucks runs without masses of paparazzi following us and taking up-skirt shots. I love Brit, almost as much as I love red meat, but she really needs to stop whining. If she needs some more excitement in her life, why not spice up her diet, or the company she keeps. I just found a sterling recipe for Cheetos Chicken, that has enough fibre to keep her regular for a week.

Ingredients
3 cups crunchy Cheetos cheese-flavored snacks (or any other Brand)
1/3 cup parmesan cheese, grated
1/4 cup flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 egg
1 tablespoon water
2 boneless skinless chicken breasts

Or, she can ditch her Pappa and start hanging around with Chester Cheetah. It’s the least she owes him after a whole year of ignoring his calls!

To see TWO new ’Britney: For The Record’ promos, make the JUMP ==>

Continue reading →

Posted in: Britney Spears, TV, Video.
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LINKS FROM AROUND THE WEB
 

Bam! Kim Kardashian Edition

Nov 18th, 2008
by Amy Grindhouse.
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Kim Karashian is making the best of being my identical bottom twin, by parading around in only a bikini and a smile [Website – Amy Grindhouse].

Check out Kimmy in the image above, as she hits the beach, in Miami, wearing a black bikini and wrap.

She was there celebrate the grand opening of the Fontainebleau Miami Beach Resort; a star studded event attended by celebrities such as Kate Hudson, Gwyneth Paltrow, Paris Hilton, Alex Rodriguez, and Mariah Carey.

Be honest – WOULD YOU HIT IT?


[IMAGE CREDIT:Fred Montana / Splash News]

AmyGrindhouse.com written by Amy Grindhouse © All rights reserved. When quoting, use excerpts with attribution only. Images, branding and original content should not be reproduced without prior permission.

Posted in: Bam!.
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Celeb Snax 18/11/08: Rihanna ‘Rehab’ Video & More

Nov 18th, 2008
by Amy Grindhouse.
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Check out the below, for some mighty filling celeb snax [Website – Amy Grindhouse].

  • Rihanna feat. Justin Timberlake ‘Rehab’ – music video [PopBytes]
  • Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter in Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland [Agent Bedhead]
  • Nicole Kidman going grey [Danity Donnaly]
  • Crackie gets her beehive back [DListed]
  • Justin Timberlake’s new track, ‘Follow My Lead’ – click to listen [Just Jared]
  • Nick Hogan has an asshat hairdo [Websters Is My Bitch]
  • BELIeve in Eli Stone [SOMG]
  • What kind of GD photoshoot is this? [IDWYL]
  • Britney Spears goes on a date? [The Superficial]
  • News on the new Star Trek film [Celebitchy]

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[IMAGE CREDIT: PopBytes]

AmyGrindhouse.com written by Amy Grindhouse © All rights reserved. When quoting, use excerpts with attribution only. All logos/ branding and original content should not be reproduced without permission. No images may be used without prior permission.

 

Posted in: Celeb Snax.
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You Know, The Hype Totally Went Over My Head

Nov 17th, 2008
by Amy Grindhouse.
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So, apparently some colon-blow, tweeny-bopper film, with a greasy looking lead male, is the BIGGEST THING to hit Western cinema since ‘Beverly Hills Chihuahua’ [Website – Amy Grindhouse].

Gotta be honest, been deliberately sticking my head in the sand whenever I hear people mentioning this film, as I refuse to succumb to such an obvious marketing campaign. When I see ‘clever’ new-fangled marketing, it makes me want to poke out my eyes with stale Cheetos, rather than let the phucking bastard marketers win. Like, DAMN YOU with your auto-play audio adverts on every GD blog I visit. DAMN YOU with your magazine covers and actor bios scattered hither-and-thither where celebbloggers are going to find/ publish them.

The 10 second snippet of the movie trailer that I did catch was by accident and was nothing miraculous.

From what I know of the film, it stars a guy who could easily be Crackie McBeehive’s younger, crackier brother; a man, who I shall assume is of an age where it is not LOLsome to call him a man (can’t be bothered to look up his age). The other stars are so completely uninteresting and shoved out of the public eye, by the oily protagonist, that I cannot even summon the words, to describe them here articulately.

WILL YOU BE WATCHING TWILIGHT?

AmyGrindhouse.com written by Amy Grindhouse © All rights reserved. When quoting, use excerpts with attribution only. Images, branding and original content should not be reproduced without prior permission.

Posted in: Movie.
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