Being Naked A Lot Apparently Makes You Sexy

Mila Kunis covers Esquire Magazine November 2012 topless on the outside of the issue and completely naked on the inside of the issue. Because being naked a bunch is all it takes to be named Sexiest Woman Alive 2012. She’s actually still interesting with her clothes on. Which is why I Big Words Edition-read most of her interview where I usually skim-read. She doesn’t explain why she lied about Ashton Kutcher on her previous press tour. But she does talk about how lying, scheming and manipulative are most industry bosses. And how her industry peers are fame-whores for setting up the same photo-ops as she does. More below.

On career sabotage: ‘My career was threatened over me not wanting to do the cover of a magazine. By an executive. Oh, that’s not even true. A person higher than an executive. It was like, If you don’t do this magazine, you’ll never work in this company. I went, ‘Great.’ It was the first time that I had someone on the phone tell me that I will never work in this industry again. I said, ‘I’m sorry, what did you say?’ It wasn’t Playboy, but it was a magazine I didn’t want to do. It’s very simple. I just didn’t want to do it. I said I would do that one and that one, just not this one. And this person couldn’t accept no. In my twenty-nine years, I’ve never met someone who lied as much as this person did. You know when little kids look at you with chocolate all over their face, and then you say, ‘Why did you eat that chocolate?’And they say, ‘I didn’t eat chocolate,’ and you say, ‘But you have it on your face.’ It was worse than that. There are good, honest people who work their asses off and don’t reach nearly as much success as this person does. I never spoke about it, and I did as little interviews as I possibly could. Because why support a project that didn’t support me back? People in this industry lie so much, they believe their lies. That’s what I learned on that movie. I learned people are a**holes and people lie. I think that was the turning point of my career. Where I said no!’
On Seth MacFarlane: ‘He’s such a douchebag. I keep telling him, ‘Sarcasm does not translate well in print.’ And he is so f**king dry. I’ve known him since I was fourteen, and I find self-deprecating humor great. I tell him, ‘You can mock away because I know who you are. In print, though? You’re going to come off like an a**hole. So be careful.”
On whether she’s funny: ‘I think I stumbled upon doing funny things, but I’m not funny. I just know how to deliver a joke. There are people who naturally exude humor and are constantly saying funny things, and there are the people who know how to deliver a joke. It’s a learned skill. Through twenty years of doing this, I practice it. I think that the second you think that you’re funny is when you stop being funny.’
On staying sane in the industry: ‘What I do and who I am are two different things. And they always will be. What happens with people is they lose sight of who they are, and they become either who they want to be or who they are perceived to be. But whatever it is, it is no longer who they are. So much of who you are in this industry is based on what that critic says, what that director says, what that actor says. People start believing all that, and they become what everybody else wants them to be. And I think that I’ve consciously separated my two lives. I love what I do. I couldn’t imagine doing anything else. But when I’m done with work, I’m done with work. I think that if I bought into the hype, I would lose all sight of who I am, and so much of who I am is what my parents went through and instilled in me. And I never want to lose that. Ever. Because I would be so disappointed if I didn’t make them proud.’
On her peers being fame-whores: ‘Here’s the truth: People want to get photographed in this industry a lot more than they let on. For instance, everything is sponsorship-based. When you see photos in magazines and someone’s holding a Coke or a Sprite and they’re just walking down the street, that’s a sponsorship. [With staged beach photos]… at least that’s controlled. But I don’t want it. I really don’t want it. The fact that I even have to talk about it … it’s common sense: Privacy is privacy. I no longer have it.’