During his 2010 press tour for Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps, Michael Douglas spoke about his ‘throat cancer’ as a way to explain his gaunt appearance. Then, earlier this year, he blamed that throat cancer on oral sex because WebMD is a great place for information on nonexistent ailments. He claimed, at the time, ‘Without wanting to get too specific, this particular cancer is caused by HPV [human papillomavirus], which actually comes about from cunnilingus. I did worry if the stress caused by my son’s incarceration didn’t help trigger it. But yeah, it’s a sexually transmitted disease that causes cancer. And if you have it, cunnilingus is also the best cure for it.’ However, he blamed his wife for basically no reason because he never had throat cancer to begin with. Michael tells the UK’s This Morning, in an interview with Samuel L Jackson, he actually had the far more insidious tongue cancer. He didn’t want to talk about the extremely negative prognosis, nor the walnut-size tumor at the base of his tongue, nor the probability of being left disfigured if he needed surgery, so he took the advice of his doctors: ‘This was right before I had a big tour for Wall Street, so we kind of said, ‘There’s no way we can cancel the tour and say we don’t feel well.’ I said, ‘You’ve just got to come out and just tell them I’ve got cancer and that’s it.’ The surgeon said, ‘Let’s just say it’s throat cancer.” The doctors added, in the event of surgery for tongue cancer, ‘It’s not going to be pretty,’ because Michael faced losing part of his jaw and tongue during the procedure.