Matthew McConaughey's Baby Vida: First Photo

The first photo has been released of Matthew McConaughey’s newborn baby daughter, Vida Alves McConaughey. The picture was released on his slow-ass, flash-based, makes you wait to buffer just to see the content-free landing page, plays auto-play audio, website. Before you ask, no, sadly, I’m not kidding.

Vida Alves McConaughey is slow off the mark, in the celebrity baby photo-whoring race. At three-and-a-half weeks old this little darling is leagues behind the babies of Kourtney Kardashian and Kendra Wilkinson. While the baby son of Wilkinson, Hank Baskett IV, was being photographed and then Photoshopped on the cover of OK! magazine for three consecutive weeks (the first being as he was practically coming down the birth canal, he still had his hospital tag on for the first OK! cover for crap’s sake), McConaughey’s kid is just kicking back and relaxing. And by that I mean she was probably chilling with her purdy-ass mother or her too-adorable-to-exist brother, rather than worriedly calling the Photoshoppers at some tab to make sure they make her ears look “just right”.

Maybe I’m being too easy on her, and I should take the opportunity to point out that this is the kind of sloppy service you get when you don’t pay someone for a cover. It’s very much akin to putting a second class stamp on a letter (remember them); that’s just what you get, second class service. If they’d been paid we could have gotten this over and done with, three-and-a-half weeks ago, as she was crowning. This impertinent baby made us wait for near a month cos when she’s giving the goods away for free she’s doing things on her own damn time.