Everyone Except Mariah & Nicki Admit Feud Is Fake

Last week, Nicki Minaj yelled her outside voice at Mariah Carey while Carey eyed the room for the minion who usually does the yelling on her behalf so she doesn’t strain her vocal chords. With the minion on break, Carey whispered something in return about ‘Oh why, WHYYYY do I have a three year old sitting around me?’ to which Minaj allegedly responded with everything including death threats. The following day, Minaj spent hours spilling tea on Twitter only for Carey to sit in bed, spill tea to Barbara Walters, then go back to sleep while Walters did the rest of the damage which amounted to, to paraphrase: ‘Minaj is a dangerous thug who hates the mother of DEM BABIES.’ And that’s where we’d remain with this ‘feud’ today if everyone who’s ever judged a talent show weren’t in the headlines this weekend and Idol producers weren’t still playing dumb in a statement: ‘This is one of the best, most passionate, dynamic and invested judging panels we’ve ever had. We love and support all of the judges and the fantastic work they are doing, and we can’t imagine a better group to find the next American Idol. Despite all the accusations and media speculation, much of which is inaccurate, production is going extremely well today and the judges are focused on finding the best talent here in Baton Rouge.’ Except former judge Steven Tyler admitted it’s faked for ratings: ‘Of course. Are you kidding.’ And The Voice’s Cee-Lo said the same: ‘This is Hollywood… Hardly anything’s legit.’

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