Basically admitting in plain English the leak was a contrived ploy to boost sales, Hugh Hefner just announced Lindsay Lohan’s leaked issue of Playboy will be released early. Over a series of Twitter messages, Hefner feigned shock at the leak then got all giddy about how many people were Googling it: ‘The Lindsay Lohan pictorial has been leaked on the Internet & is causing a sensation… The Lindsay Lohan issue of Playboy is going to be a true Collector’s Edition… Because of the interest & the Internet leak, we’re releasing the Lindsay Lohan issue early… Lindsay Lohan was the top search name on the Internet yesterday. Her issue goes on sale late next week. Hot. Hot. Hot.’ Then he retweeted sycophantic messages from the four people who intend to pay for the issue: ‘Don’t worry big papa a lot of us will be buying the Lindsay Lohan Mag including females lol,’ and ‘It will be my 1st Playboy I ever bought! I am a 32 yr old woman & can’t wait! Go @lindsaylohan,’ and ‘she looks incredible, a really beautiful pictorial, I can’t wait,’ and ‘Wow the pictorial is amazing and @lindsaylohan looks incredible! Can’t wait for the issue to go on sale here.’ You should totes pay for porn, as is everyone cool, because Hefner has decided this poor man’s copy pasta of the nude NYMag Lohan/ Monroe spread is a ‘Collector’s edition.’
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How is it that the sagging tits don’t bother anybody?