Lindsay Lohan’s Drunk Shoes ™ Were To Blame

Okay, so, there are innumerable Lohan The Boozehound shenanigans going on today that I’m not going to have time to cover. Instead, I’m going to artfully glaze over them all and focus on what really matters: her shoes. Because Drunk Shoes ™ are the new Coke Shoes ™ we have the best excuse ever for why Lohan lost her footing outside the club at which she partied until 2 a.m.. First things first. Lohan was photographed coming out of a club to the flash of paparazzi bulbs. Video of Lohan leaving shows her stumble for a second and get in a car. That was lazily taken by some to mean she fell completely or ‘collapsed.’ I saw the video and she did no such things. Well, did you know, that one’s shoes can make one walk like a drunk? Me neither. Well, Lohan’s Drunk Shoes ™ made it look as though she’d had one too many. BLAME THE SHOES! Lohan tweeted the above picture of her footwear from the night and started pointing the blame. ‘Of course me going to my best friends going away dinner is a headline- especially on my first day out of my house in 35 days,’ she wrote. ‘That does not give anyone the right to have a field day and manifest stories. IT WAS A GOING AWAY DINNER, THAT WAS IT. Nothing exciting happened aside from the very yummy hummus and pita. If anyone caused me to nearly fall it was the pyschotic paparazzi…. off to the gym now.’ For the record, according to TMZ.com, Lohan ‘went out last night to attend a best friend’s going away party… her friend’s husband jumped in front of her unexpectedly and she tripped… Lohan is adamant she did not drink last night and sources at the Social House say she was not served any alcohol.’

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