Teaser Trailer: Lindsay Lohan In ‘The Canyons’ Is Exactly As Amazing As In Your Dreams

Here’s the poster and teaser trailer for the movie that’s only ‘not porn’ because it’ll be on Netflix soon (wait, does Netflix have porn, I don’t even know). It’s the movie with a Kickstarter budget, porn star male lead, Lindsay Lohan (who’s been in Playboy) as female lead who’s required to do nude scenes, and its ‘premiere’ will be online. Except I’m pretty sure most porn has better camera work and better music. Really. I just watched this a moment ago and I was actually shaking a little, as I was so giddy to see if this would be as amazing as it has been in my dreams. And I’m still feeling too many feelings to really describe my reaction to this teaser, so you can watch below and judge it for yourself. It’s like the whole thing was shot on someone’s early generation iPhone. With the music that was playing in the elevator on their way up to the parking lot after getting groceries at Whole Food. It’s so bad. It’s SO BAD. It might be the worst teaser of its kind I’ve ever seen and I’m not kidding. Also below, photos of Lohan around NYC.