Lindsay Lohan’s current lawyer is like that lawyer you hired on Craig’s List that one time to sue your dealer for shortchanging you some weed. Except Lindsay Lohan’s lawyer knows the law because Law & Order box sets are the community college/ distance learning for the legal profession. With that and everything he learned from Judge Judy and watching himself on The Simpsons, BOOM, it’s like the law degree he found in the recycling was actually earned by him, Lionel Hutz, Attorney at Law. But Lohan can watch Blue Rays on her own like a big girl even if she doesn’t actually understand what’s going on in each episode. And Lohan’s ‘law degree’ leads her to believe the glove don’t fit, so they must acquit!
A source Lohansplains: ‘A plea deal in the case isn’t going to happen unless Lindsay comes to her senses. She refuses any deal that will send her to jail or rehab. She is confident that she will be acquitted of the charges of lying to cops. Lindsay’s attorney, Mark Heller, and the prosecutor have reached an impasse in the talks, and Terry White, the Los Angeles City Attorney handling the case, is now in full preparation for the trial. The key witnesses, including the passenger in Lindsay’s car that day, Gavin Doyle, and her bodyguard, have all been told they can expect to testify in the case next week.’